My name is Kirsty, reflecting my Scottish roots, I am 58 and transitioned two months ago, starting with doing the legal piece in the form of a Deed of Name Change and now have my passport and driver's licence.
My journey has been quite quick in that it was in early 2014 that my suppressed and hitherto well concealed (even from me) feelings about my gender identity resurfaced. Initially, all that I was prepared to admit to placed me at one end of the TG spectrum. However, having begun therapy, I found the courage to accept that I was actually at the other end, with all the profound consequences that admission would entail, not least the demise of my marriage.
I was lucky in that I had an opportunity to explore the practicalities of being me in a completely anonymous environment. I returned home three weeks later, not only with some of the practical skills that would enable me to prepare for transition, but also with a degree of confidence and assurance that I could not dare even to aspire to beforehand.
I had originally envisaged transitioning sometime in 2016, in order to give myself time and space to plan without any undue haste but that would have meant transitioning after I moved into a home of my own. However, the more I though about it, the more it made sense to consider bringing forward my transition to coincide so as not to draw any unnecessary attention. It all hinged on whether I was going to be prepared in every respect personally to cross that bridge and whether all the conditions could be established in my workplace in time, having formally told my Line and HR Manager of my intention to transition back in December.
I have to say that I have been humbled by the positive reaction that I received when I informed work in March of my intention to bring forward my transition to the middle of September. We agreed to use the UK Civil Service's 'The Workplace and Gender Reassignment' guide for staff and managers as a framework, there being little in the staff handbook in the form of company policy (at that time although my HR Manager has used my transition to review and update existing related policies and issue new policy for GR), apart from a broad equality and diversity commitment statement.
While I was allowed to drive the whole process, I chose to do so in very close consultation with my Line and HR Managers. One of the key areas is managing the impact of my change on the working environment of others; my colleagues were not choosing to change and they would not be in control. I saw it as my responsibility to run an information campaign to let key members of staff, principally those with whom I had greatest contact, know about my news in person.
Over the course of some three months and on an opportunity basis, I felt increasingly assured to share my news in confidence, initially on a 1 to 1 basis and using a passport photo of me as a visual aide, gradually briefing larger, functional, groups so that when the formal announcement was made at work, it was already 'yesterday's news'. Each time was a little bit of a heart-stopping moment as you cannot control reactions, hence the reason for the opportunity basis; I had to prepare myself on every occasion! Another humbling realisation was the fact that my confidence was more or less kept until the formal announcement.
As suggested, I planned some leave, during which a 'global' announcement with an attached letter that I had drafted, again in consultation, was sent out to everyone. As part of my 'return to work', I offered to met people in a social context on the eve of my 'First Day' and some of my colleagues took advantage, which made walking into the office the following morning that much easier, certainly less daunting. Having new access credentials prepared in advance was another key aspect, so I could walk in as usual. There were one or two instances of 'how do I handle this' from a couple of individuals, whom I had not been able to brief in person, but that soon dissipated with the realisation that, while the 'wrapping' might have changed, the person remained the same. In summary, 'business as usual' was resumed with little more than a pause for breath!
As I have customer and supplier facing roles, I used the same principle of briefing in person wherever possible. I believe that, by taking people personally into my confidence rather than 'hiding' behind an impersonal announcement, I was showing respect for them and was rewarded by that respect being reflected back to me in the feeling of genuine acceptance and moreover good wishes for successful (workplace) transition.
I have rambled on long enough for an introduction. I have let you know what worked for me - others may not be so fortunate and I am happy to share my 'technique' should that help others in their planning. I feel very comfortable in who I am and have more or less settled into a routine that will provide a good foundation in advance of any sign of progress on the medical side of things, which is just taking an age to kick off, but that, as they say, is another story.....!!
