So, here it goes again... yesterday I was on top of the world, made the post about positive changes I see, felt great, loved myself.

Today.... Im racing to the bottom of the hill

Its a tough way to live, any tips to combat this?

Its not the first time, but its been longer since it happened last

What kind of hormones are you on ?

Estrogen sublingually ?
You might try to spread the daily dose in a few small parts... so spikes and lows are avoided...

you might think about additional bioidentical progesterone... it might help with mood... and breast development...

I've always been like this with my emotions, especially since starting HRT, and I never really attributed my mood swings to the hormones. Well now I do. I always assumed I was maybe bipolar or something.

Having an outlet where you can express those emotions in a healthy way helps a bunch. It's what I do and for me that outlet is playing guitar, making music.

I'm completely there with LadyOracle for what to try when you find things are hard to control and to comprehend.

When I started my transitioning, I wrote... A lot. I wrote in present moment, how I am feeling right now, and how that makes me feel about myself, whatever is bothering me, etc. I never dismiss the feeling though, whatever heightened mood that I am in, because a long as I am on hormones this will be a normal for me, so I will need to understand if there is something in my life that is causing this.

Well, just like everyone else, we are going to have good and bad days.  It could be potentially hormonal to a degree cause I notice that it makes my mood and emotions go all over the place at times.  And when my estrogen levels are up I feel good and worse when they are down.  But it sounds like you are experiencing some geberal ups and downs from your transition.  Many of us feel really happy to transition and seeing any sign of progress cause it's moving us closer to our end goal and where we want ro be.  That's going to feel great.  But theb there are going to be depressing days where you are going to really feel your insecurities and just have to deal with the roadblocks and challenges that trabsitioning and veibg trabs presents.  All ai can say is try not to let yoyr fears and insecurities destroy you and don't always worry about the fears of tomorrow.   Try to live in today as best as you can.  And try to keep ib mibd that transition is a process, so don't feel completely hopeless if you aren't where you want to be yet.  While we have to be realistic about our hopes and expectations, we often can become our owb worst critics.  Whenever I jeep these things in mind and am vigilant to not allow jealousy and insecuritys to eat me up I generally feel better. 

Anyway, this is just based on my own experience, so I don't know if this helps anyway.  However, please try to habg in there.  If today is a bad day, it doesn't mean tomorrow will be.

Thank you all

just the other day I gave some similar advice, yet today I cant take my own words of wisdom

I do feel that when things are looking good and moving forward, Im happy and love myself, but as soon as I see otherwise it wants to crush me

Im in that frame of mind, well I was this morning, its better now.

today is a day when I have to hide myself and go be a "dude" and thats getting harder and harder to deal with

no, I am not "out".... some know, and I tease the world with girl mode now and then... but I am still fighting it

No matter how I take my hormones my moods vary on seemingly a regular schedule. It sounds cliche but it's almost exactly like a menstrual cycle minus the bleeding of course. Right now I'm at my happy peak. Next week I'll feel awful. Then it starts to get better.