Seems like no matter where I go, mama boys(or dudes who cherish they mama unconditionally) get a bad rep for being soft and weak. But, like, what for? I mean, I love my mama unconditionally and my ability to love her in this way doesn't mean I am soft, weak, a weeny wimp or anything of that nature.

Or does this signify something actually serious, like sexism?  Or even fear of femininity, which could also be sexism?

I'd like to know what everyone else here also thinks about this.

~Nixy~

Never thought about this, actually. But now that I do, it's pretty baffling. There are no negative associations with being a "daddy's boy/girl" and even so, usually being a "mama's girl" isn't bad, either. But make it mother and son and it's the butt of a joke more or less.

I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the idea that a guy who's close with his mother isn't as independent as he could be. Considering mothers usually are the primary caretakers and the ones who (try to) answer to the child's every need. If that makes any sense, just a thought on the spot.

That being said, I might as well admit that I would most likely count as a mama's boy. My dad has never been around so mom was the only parent I had. I know it's not easy being a single parent but she did pretty damn well, considering she's been diagnosed with mid-level depression and she has a history of panic attacks as well. She's hit rock bottom several times during my life and dealt with terrible thing domestic violence but now she's better than ever, married and has a steady job that's perfect for her (she's a practical nurse, working at the local center for disabled people).
She's not only my mom, she's also the one I admire and trust most in this world. I'm proud to have her as my mother and could care less if that makes me a mama's boy.

...Sorry for that outburst. >.>

The mostly male dominated industries and social media play a big part in it. Women are seen as weaker so if their son loves them they're seen as weak too. It's bull. It's definitely a bit of sexism.


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Maybe it is a cultural difference here, but being a mother's boy means something different to me.
In my country, it means you are not independent as an adult, still relying on your mother for a lot of things in your life, while you have the capacity to be independent. It basically means you would run to your mother after someone was harsh to you, begging her to sort it out for you, while you are an adult and should be able to sort it out yourself. It refers to being childish. So being a mother's buy is a negative thing here because you rely on her too much, not because you love her unconditionally.

Quote from: Mr.X on November 17, 2015, 01:11:50 PM
Maybe it is a cultural difference here, but being a mother's boy means something different to me.
In my country, it means you are not independent as an adult, still relying on your mother for a lot of things in your life, while you have the capacity to be independent. It basically means you would run to your mother after someone was harsh to you, begging her to sort it out for you, while you are an adult and should be able to sort it out yourself. It refers to being childish. So being a mother's buy is a negative thing here because you rely on her too much, not because you love her unconditionally.

What country are you from?  I am from the U.S., a Mid-Atlantic/North East state, and I would say that here the above definition fits, specifically about being emotionally dependent on one's mother (not necessary financial/physical dependency).  The word tends to mean being too reliant on one's mother emotionally, which could impact one's romantic relationships.  It means putting mom first and seeking out mom for support instead of your adult partner.  At least that is how it is used where I am.  It is seen as negative after one hits a certain age....specifically if one is in a relationship.

Where I am the word isn't used to mean unconditionally loving one's mother.  The definition of a "mama's boy", isn't related to that concept.

Quote from: Mr.X on November 17, 2015, 01:11:50 PM
In my country, it means you are not independent as an adult, still relying on your mother for a lot of things in your life, while you have the capacity to be independent. ... So being a mother's buy is a negative thing here because you rely on her too much, not because you love her unconditionally.

^ This, and

Quote from: Bimmer Guy on November 18, 2015, 12:13:46 AM
The word tends to mean being too reliant on one's mother emotionally, which could impact one's romantic relationships.  It means putting mom first and seeking out mom for support instead of your adult partner. 

^ this.

It's one thing to love your mother and I commend you for doing so, but I'm from the UK, and here a 'mummy's boy' is a man who's still tied too firmly to his mum's apron strings and as a result he can't function as an independent adult. It's not about being soft or weak: it's about being immature and unable to handle adult life & adult relationships. There are no positive connotations to being a 'mummy's boy' here in the UK once you've reached a certain age, but perhaps it's different where you are?

It's often a result of overindulgent mothering - the sort of situation where a grown man goes back to his mother's every week so she can do his washing & ironing, cook for him etc. etc. etc. And of course, as soon as he gets a partner on the scene, that kind of mother tends to get hyper-critical of the partner because they don't take care of her little boy the way she does. And that's the key: the mother wants him to continue being her little boy for as long as possible, so she keeps him dependent on her as much as she can.

I married such a man, and it was an absolute nightmare. His mother's interference (and constant criticism!) was a huge strain on our marriage, but because he's a mummy's boy he would always side with his mother and never with me whenever she piled on the drama.

That behaviour cost him his marriage.

Uhm, a mama boy isn't someone who loves his mum, it's someone who's dependent from her, or that's what I understand. People who at fourty-five can't even iron their shirts without their mum are "mama boys", and it's not really good.

Quote from: Bimmer Guy on November 18, 2015, 12:13:46 AM

Quote from: Mr.X on November 17, 2015, 01:11:50 PM
Maybe it is a cultural difference here, but being a mother's boy means something different to me.
In my country, it means you are not independent as an adult, still relying on your mother for a lot of things in your life, while you have the capacity to be independent. It basically means you would run to your mother after someone was harsh to you, begging her to sort it out for you, while you are an adult and should be able to sort it out yourself. It refers to being childish. So being a mother's buy is a negative thing here because you rely on her too much, not because you love her unconditionally.

What country are you from?  I am from the U.S., a Mid-Atlantic/North East state, and I would say that here the above definition fits, specifically about being emotionally dependent on one's mother (not necessary financial/physical dependency).  The word tends to mean being too reliant on one's mother emotionally, which could impact one's romantic relationships.  It means putting mom first and seeking out mom for support instead of your adult partner.  At least that is how it is used where I am.  It is seen as negative after one hits a certain age....specifically if one is in a relationship.

Where I am the word isn't used to mean unconditionally loving one's mother.  The definition of a "mama's boy", isn't related to that concept.

Agree with you two. I'm in the mid-Atlantic/south and I have never heard a mama's boy described as anything but an overgrown man child who relies heavily on his mother. Same thing with being a daddy's girl - an adult woman who goes crying to her dad whenever she needs something taken care of.

I love my mom, but I'd be offended if someone called me a mama's boy.

Where I am it kind of means a man who even when he is an adult will never detach from an emotional inferiority complex to his mother, always capitulates to her, is probably still scared of her disapproval, etc.

I agree about a "momma's boy" being not a man who strongly loves his mother, but one who depends on her too strongly.  For example, at one time in my life I was engaged to a man who loved me dearly, and I him.  Everything was fairy tale perfect--my family adored him, his friends loved me, on and on... But his mother was VERY threatened by me, and decided she was going to put an end to our relationship so that I would not "steal" him from her.  In the end she basically told him that she would disown him if he married me.  Not because we didn't get along or she didn't like me in particular, rather because I was someone else important in his life, and she was afraid I would take her place.  To me, THAT is a momma's boy.  Someone who can't make their own decisions, because they haven't ever cut the umbilical cord. 

However, I do think there is some inherent sexism in it, because I have always thought of myself as a "daddy's girl" (well, before I started thinking of myself as a boy, anyway), and it seems as if there are a lot less negative connotations to being a female who relies strongly on her father than a male who relies strongly on his mother.  On the other hand, though I love my dad to death I would never let him make my decisions for me--but then I don't associate that as something "daddy's girls" do.  It's almost as if there is more of a "she is taking advantage of his adoration for her" feel to the idea of a daddy's girl than there is for a momma's boy (where he just comes off as unable to function without mommy).  So yeah, I think there is sexism behind the idea.  But I don't think there is anything wrong with being a man who loves his mother, and I don't think just loving your mother is enough for people to think of you as a momma's boy in a negative way.  Now, if you let her make all your decisions for you, that's another story.