15 Things Trans People Wish You Would Stop Saying To Them

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/15-things-trans-people-wish-you-would-stop-saying-to-them_564ccf13e4b08c74b733cd1e?utm_hp_ref=transgender

The Huffington Post/JamesMichael Nichols Deputy Gay Voices Editor, The Huffington Post Posted: 11/19/2015 08:53 AM EST | Edited: 11/19/2015 09:44 AM EST

"Sometimes, even our most well-intentioned sentiments can cause unintended harm to trans or gender non-conforming individuals.

One way to describe these moments is using the word "microaggression," described by queer advocacy and watchdog group GLAAD as "subtle verbal or behavioral slights that invalidate a person's identity or experience."

In an effort to educate the public about the nature of microaggressions and the effects they can have on trans and gender non-conforming people, GLAAD launched a photo campaign on Monday to coincide with Transgender Awareness Week."

Meh, I think some of it is over-sensitive crap. If you're gonna get offended or feel uncomfortable about everything, you're gonna have a bad time. Seriously though, some of it isn't meant to offend at all, and to take it as such is your own choice. For the innocently stupid comments, just recognize that that's all they are, try to educate the person (especially if they are legitimately curious) and move on.

There are better and less invasive ways to ask questions. Not everyone is an open book.

I would add, "what do people at work think about you being trans"?

Quote from: Ashey on November 20, 2015, 08:12:54 AM
Meh, I think some of it is over-sensitive crap.

Normally I'd agree, and was expecting that from the questions being highlighted - but they're all pretty valid complaints.

Quote from: Ashey on November 20, 2015, 08:12:54 AM
Meh, I think some of it is over-sensitive crap. If you're gonna get offended or feel uncomfortable about everything, you're gonna have a bad time. Seriously though, some of it isn't meant to offend at all, and to take it as such is your own choice. For the innocently stupid comments, just recognize that that's all they are, try to educate the person (especially if they are legitimately curious) and move on.

I usually try to keep a thick pair of skin. But having a person come up and ask me if I had a vulva yet made me uncomfortable.

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I was asked the surgery question omg i cant believe it. By a friend, straight up: 'so are you getting a sex change?' *facepalm*

What ever i do with my genitals is none of your business people!!!


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The only question I've gotten was from a nurse who asked if I was trans, she was trans too so I guess they cancel each other out.

Interesting. I think i wouldnt mind being asked by another trans girl. It would be considered girly talk to me. Id see where is she coming from, but from a cis i find it a little lacking tact


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Cis people need to shut up and mind their own business.

Quote from: clarabrown on November 26, 2015, 10:48:08 AM
Interesting. I think i wouldnt mind being asked by another trans girl. It would be considered girly talk to me. Id see where is she coming from, but from a cis i find it a little lacking tact


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What if a trans guy asked you?

Quote from: Ms Grace on November 20, 2015, 07:34:34 PM
Normally I'd agree, and was expecting that from the questions being highlighted - but they're all pretty valid complaints.

I agree. I'm already very sensitive as it is and people can easily ruin or make my day with how they respond to me and act around me. Many of us are easily triggered and nearly all of those in the article are indeed very triggering, especially the ones that put us in a box and call us something we don't wish to be called. Ya'll might know how I feel but some wouldn't know but, for me, I hate being trans, I wish I was just female and I live life as a female but hate being reminded I'm trans. Some see it as a gift, I do not other than having more understanding, knowledge and kindness toward others but that is easily obtainable through other less sever means.

So yes, nearly all of those are indeed bad and I wouldn't want anyone saying them to me. I myself have taken something away from this because I once said something similar to an intersex person and now I feel bad. If it hadn't happened so long ago, I might say sorry but no use bringing up a possible old wound. (Fyi, mine was also said with good intention, that didn't make it right and if I'd known, I wouldn't have said it)

Point is, we ALL can take something away from this and this was a good thing to do!

Quote from: AnonBear on November 27, 2015, 09:41:04 PM
Cis people need to shut up and mind their own business.

I don't like the whole 'us vs them' mentality. Some cis people perpetuate this, doesn't mean we have to take it even further and cause an even bigger divide. I think we have a responsibility to educate them, even if they come off as offensive. Many don't mean it, and really many don't even know a thing about transgender anything. Some haven't had any exposure to any of it, so of course they're going to be curious. Sure, some could use more tact, but it doesn't necessarily mean they wish to offend. Have patience, and maybe others will learn to have some as well. Be diplomatic rather than caustic.

I don't need to be anything other than what I am, which is fed up with entitled, clueless cis people. It is not my job to educate anybody. They have the internet. They have books. They have resources. They are the majority for gods sake. The onus is on them to be responsible for what they do and don't know about trans people.

And it certainly isn't anyone's job to educate others on their personal medical history. This is not about being "offended" and it takes nerve to reduced it to that. It is never okay for one human being to address another human being by asking them what their genitals look like or what kind of surgeries they've had. Ever. And if cis people saw trans people as human beings, they wouldn't ask such obviously, highly personal medical questions.