Hey friends!

        Just an update and a few questions. So, on Saturday November 21st, 2015 at 5:30 PM I publicly came out on Facebook. Part of why I did it is because two people I called friends told my ex. My ex finds it hysterical and says this is exactly what I deserves and completely dehumanized me.
Saturday morning I found out he decided to ask one of my best friends if she knew "things about me." He was taking my trans identity and using it to try and hurt me. Mocking me. Making me out to be some sort of a freak. I decided he will not have any power or control over me anymore, so I did it. Plus since I had told my father the night before and got accepted I felt like it was time anyways. The support has been tremendous and more than I believed I would get.

Next thing, I got my lab results that my OBGYN ordered. I didn't have pre-hrt labs because the previous clinic I went to forgot about them. My Testosterone level is 75 ng/dl and my Estradiol is 156 pg/ml. I'm having a hard time finding a chart to explain these results. I'm just a little over a month on HRT and my OBGYN said my doses were significantly lower than what he likes to start with. Someone mind helping me know how far away from female ranges?

Also, I'm sorry for being so direct, but yesterday my whole groin region was so painful. It felt like it was in my inguinal canal and around that region and my testicles. I could barely walk. Today it's kind of better but it hurts to touch my ladystones. I know I should ask my obgyn but I wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this.

Thanks,

          Kara. <3

I'm adding some attachments, if anyone would like to use my coming out letter in the future or modify it please feel free to! I know it's a tough thing to do. 






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I'm sorry I can't respond to most of your questions, but its important for you to see what your ex is doing and not let him win. When you are in a serious relationship or marriage, the other person knows exactly what makes you the happiest and what hurts you the most. If they are vindictive, they push all the buttons that hurt the most.

My ex did that to me for years, both during the marriage and after the divorce. It took me a long time to realize that it was her problem and not mine, but it did a lot of damage in between. Perhaps in your ex's eyes, your coming out about being a transgender threatens his manhood. He may feel that others will see him as gay since he didn't suspect. That is no excuse for his childish behavior though. Try not to fall into the trap of back and forth hurting.

If your ex has issues, its up to him to work them out. Not you. When my ex wouldn't stop calling and e-mailing me after the divorce, I changed my e-mail and gave the address to my son. She tried to use it once and I finally had to get just short of rude in telling her that the address was for my son only and if she persisted, I would get a restraining order. You are far stronger than your ex. Fighting through the turmoil of coming to the realization that you are a transgender and then doing something about it proves that. His behavior shows just how insecure and weak he is.

sam1234

Dear Kara;

Unfortunately, many people we know can be total jerks when the situation dictates. I think he, as has been said, unsure of his self worth as a man and is afraid his so-called friends will think him less of a man because of your announcement. If he was a real friend, he would not be doing the things he is even if he wasn't supportive. With friends like him, who needs enemies?

I feel the best way to head this jerk off, is to let your true friends know. A black mailer can't blackmail if the person being blackmailed has nothing to hide. If you let people know, then his asking if people know "things about you" will have almost no impact.

As for your hormone levels, my pre-op tests with no HRT were 28 for testosterone and 119 for estradiol. The T levels were very low for what a "normal" no medication male should be experiencing and I think the estradiol was a bit high but I'm not sure.

Since surgery in June and being on HRT for only 3 months, my testosterone level is .08 and estradiol is down to 114. The estradiol dose has been increased as my endocrinologist would like to see that up in the normal female range of around 400-500 (whatever it`s measured against).

Hope that helps you somewhat and don`t let the creep win.

Love,
Clare