Today is the day that we got married three years ago it is supposed to be a day to celebrate a beautiful love between two people. But I am sitting in the worst depression hole that I have been in for a while. She is divorcing me because I am trans that is the worst price to pay. Losing your wife the one you love most to being transgender. She was the only reason I held on to manhood all this years we have been together for 10 years.

Seeing the one you love this morning and not being able to hug her and say thank you hun for an amazing journey is heart breaking. It feels if my heart is ripped from my chest today I can't even get out of bed. I just want to lay on my back close my eyes and pretend that it is all a dream. When I open them everything is fine and the woman I love is back in my life. It feels as if my whole world is falling apart around me. As I confessed that I am trans the person that I created to cope with life and the problems died. The mask shattered and I am exposed for the real me naked for the whole world to see and I don't know how to cope everyday with people seeing the real me. This me has no facade to hide behind.

I wish I could find a way to let go. Make peace that this is not a dream and she is leaving me because I am trans and for her she can't be in a relationship with a trans person. I just want her to be happy.

I can't understand what changed because I am still me the same person she married.I just confessed to her that I am suffering with gender identity issues.I was willing to stay a man,she is the reason why I hang on to manhood for so long and so hard and I was willing to do it longer.

I wish it was a dream and I can just wake up and find my old life in place.

sorry for the pain your in. It's hard , but the reality is  you basically let her choose. She would of had the same opportunity before your marriage if she would of known.

I know it hurts terribly, and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Just focus on getting through each day at a time, and it will eventually start to get easier to cope with. It will probably be really hard at first, but try to keep yourself busy... whether it's work, or a hobby, or spending time with friends. Try to preoccupy your mind with things you enjoy, I know it isn't easy, but it may make things easier to handle. Hang in there, things will get better.

I'm really sorry to hear this...  Please stay busy:)


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Significant other
Heterosexual woman

Get out of bed and go after her if you're willing to work it out, show her! Good luck, you got this (:

Audree

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Quote from: Amoré on November 23, 2015, 11:10:51 PM
I can't understand what changed because I am still me the same person she married.I just confessed to her that I am suffering with gender identity issues.I was willing to stay a man,she is the reason why I hang on to manhood for so long and so hard and I was willing to do it longer.

Sorry to hear you are in such a bad place and I hope you can find a way out soon.

Many years ago, 1998 I think it was - about six years after I had decided to not proceed with transition and live as a "man" - I told my then girlfriend of eight months about my trans history. We had at the time what I would characterise as a good, functional, intimate and supportive relationship but as soon as that came out she started melting down and crying and almost left me then and there. I calmed her down and things kind of struggled on for a few more months but my truth about my gender identity was pretty much the death knell for the relationship. For years I couldn't figure out why - yes I identified as female but I was living and presenting as "male"... so what was her problem? The best I can guess at is that cis hetro women want to be in a relationship with cis hetro men. For them to find themselves in a relationship with a lesbian trans woman (even if she is still not transitioned or even presenting as female) it greatly challenges their sense of sexual identity.

My other take away from the collapse of that relationship was that, at the time I had promised her that I would never consider transitioning ever again - wow did I turn out to be wrong! I'm glad I wasn't in that relationship when I did transition, yeah, I would never have lived it down. By dumping me she essentially gave me permission, albeit many years later, to let go of pretending to be someone I wasn't and to live my life openly and fully. I know it hurts terribly now but if she doesn't want to be a part of your life she is essentially giving you permission to not hold onto your "male" identity and to be yourself if that is indeed what you would ultimately like to do.

I know how it feels. It does get better though. Fifteen years together, and I thought I'd never stop crying, or thinking "this is just a dream, and tomorrow everything will be how it was before". But eventually, I started to do things again, and go out, and do my job, and I met someone who accepts me for who I am. And now I'm happier than I was before, actually. Because I don't have to lie or hide or pretend.

It hurts. But it will get better.

Thomas

Thank you for all the replies she actually came home and want to throw me out of the house because I was contemplating suicide.  I started drinking the pills because I could not see any future for me I just wanted to die today.My internet business failed the last couple of months I lost my car and can't pay my debt also. I actually can't afford any of my meds. She is paying for them if she wants to. I fear the life a trans woman and being alone. I fear losing my child. I am also unemployed and is dependent on her. I fear never finding love again because I am trans.I am transitioning that is scary as hell. I am going for month 4 now. Also on double the dosage that I used to be so emotions is through the roof.

She does not want to continue. I can understand the cis hetero woman might want a cis hetero man that might make sense that it challenges their sexuality. Seeing that I am trans she sees me as a woman that challenges her sexuality a lot.I am bisexual so gender is not a problem. I chased her for three months trying to work on a plan to sort things out and she want to divorce again. I think this relationship can be toxic and we are destroying each other and destroying the chances of any friendship we could have had. I think it is time to let go of her and any idea of having a marriage with her and try to be friends.