I feel I'm pretty close to the binary. The thing is that I transitioned so late in life I have one heck of a lot of male baggage I'll never mentally be able to forget unless ( hopefully not ) I develop amnesia . I want total female but I know the male experience of work etc. will always be floating around. I wish I could look back on all the things I did in life and see female.

My gender is a story, not a point of data.

Quote from: stephaniec on November 29, 2015, 02:07:03 AM
I feel I'm pretty close to the binary. The thing is that I transitioned so late in life I have one heck of a lot of male baggage I'll never mentally be able to forget unless ( hopefully not ) I develop amnesia . I want total female but I know the male experience of work etc. will always be floating around. I wish I could look back on all the things I did in life and see female.

I think the question is whether or not you like those ''male'' things. If you don't, ''I think'' it's mainly related to what surrounds you. I had and still have the same problem whenever I meet someone I used to know in the past as he treats me the way I used to be treated back then and I react accordingly while it never happens with my ''new'' surrounding. I personally hate when I do such thing as it is just a reflex I developed so that people would believe I am a ''male'' and that's one of the reasons I know I am not binary. And since you wish to see a female in your past, ''I do think'' it is the same in your case as well as only a female could wish such thing in my opinion.

My present is a continuing painting in progress and the final portrait remains unknown.  It's a mysterious painting without a blank canvas.  Not erasing, but blending all the known colors from the past into a kaleidoscope  of something new, and exciting, and pleasing.  A little color added each day the painting remains true and authentic.  I don't concern myself with what might or might not be and especially with what was or might have been..  Live in the present making each day pleasing in itself the painting progresses on its own.  It won't be finished until the hand holding the brush paints it's last stroke and lays it down to rest..

I have always thought within the confines of the binary and I certainly reside in the feminine realm when it comes to internal stuff.  I too have a life that I built and honed that does not necessarily fit in to the binary...lots of conflict between who I am and what I was doing in my "male self" outside.  Now that I am older, I do not see the rigid lines of a binary system quite as clearly and so am comfortable blending my two natures in such a way that I can be fulfilled.

I have friends that consider me a "gender neutral", comfortable with presenting in a "gender fluid" sort of way.  They also recognize that my true internal nature is pretty girlie, despite a rough exterior.  I guess I would fit into neither caste effectively at present, but am slowly shifting to who I have always been...a tom boy.

Now that I have experiences as both binaries and everything in between I have settled down back in the middle. I would call myself less binary for clarification. I do identify as a woman just one who wants to stomp all over any assumptions about her gender. All my life folks told me how to be a man. Then I came out and pursued my authentic truth and folks told me how to be a woman. Well, feh, I don't care. I am a woman no matter what even if I sometimes act like a man. For me the binary is there to helps us define ourselves. Some may look at the standards and say "hey that's me!" But others may look around and say "some of all of this is me!" Or even "none of this is me!"

I am a tomboy, it was my first pronoun and it is my most important identity.

I would say I'm right then with @kellam, I am a woman, but I fit right in the middle, I never went hyper feminine, basically all I did was change t-shirts to view cuts, and cargo jeans to skinny, sneakers to flats, my demeanor, and attitude have pretty much stayed the same, I'm a suburban mom, I have a mom mobile, I don't wear makeup, I don't dress to the nines.  I think I just need to be happy with myself, and all I had to do to do that was accepted I was some kind of woman, and grow some breasts, and I'm content.

We are, like it or not, the sum total of all our life experiences. True Binary ultimately distills down to not being trans. So at best we approximate it and manage the parts we cannot alter without one of those nifty MIB brain erasers

I du no, I think binary is more a state of mind, plus well be popping out kids in 10 years...