Well, hello everybody!  My name is Susan and whilst I've been a member for quite a while and have jumped through various hoops as most of us have, I must confess that I never posted anything here.  I have however, found several threads from others both interesting and useful.  I went through FFS in July 2015 with the Facial Team and shortly afterwards (10 days later in fact) BA with Dr Kai of OceanClinic.  Both are based in Marbella, Spain and I would highly recommend them both.

At the beginning of the year I decided to do some research into whether I should opt for Suporn or Chettawut for SRS.  As I was planning on travelling through Asia for work anyway, I took a couple of days off and arranged consultations with both.  Based on that visit I wouldn't say that I really came away feeling that either one was so much better from the other and I later chose Chettawut due mainly to some first hand experiences from some friends as well as some of the experiences detailed on Susans.Org.  I can however, give some thoughts on both options, but these are not based on surgery results, rather my impressions.  I'll be posting on my actual experience with Chettawut later.

Chettawut: Nice staff, but only a key few who are really able to converse in English.  Clinic is "ok", but not really very impressive and very small plus he does everything there, not in a local hospital.  It's nestled in between a couple of standard shops in a busy street and actually quite hard to find if you're not sure what exactly you should be looking for.  Plus point is that its close to Bangkok airport (30-40 mins).  For that initial visit, I stayed at the Dusit Princess which was a nice, well staffed, friendly and well maintained hotel with good food, but it was most definitely a hotel with nothing much else to recommend it.  It's close to several very large shopping centres which is very convenient.  I did go up and check the Bangkok Rama with its cottages and was quite frankly disgusted at the state of the place - downmarket, seedy and a bit scary - definitely decided I wouldn't stay there!  When it came to booking, Chettawut had added the Vertical Suite to his list which is just across the road from the Dusit and I decided on that - great choice, would definitely recommend it.  You get more than a room - an apartment, nicely appointed, plenty of facilities (full kitchen, living room, bedroom, balcony) and loads of space.  Only downsides are that the swimming pool is a joke and you need to go out and buy a bunch of basic things (like kitchen towels, washing up liquid and other things), but the staff are nice and friendly, food good and very clean.  All the hotels are a good 20-30 minute car journey from the clinic.  One thing though, it seems really hard to make friends around the Chettawut community, during that visit I met not one single other patient (and after 10 days here, I still haven't met anyone else).

Suporn: Chonburi is 2-3 hours from the airport and the place is just a small town with not that much which seems very interesting.  The Chonburi Hotel where everyone stays is .... crummy, at least that was my impression during the two nights I was there.  The rooms were probably great in 1963 and the bathrooms probably the height of luxury, but I confess I came away thinking that staying a month there would quicklyfacilities turn into a nightmare.  Having said that, plenty of people seem to find it just fine, if a little run down.  Good thing is that its about 3 minutes walk from Suporn's clinic which is definitely bigger and more socially friendly than Chettawut's place plus Suporn does his operations at a local hospital (which I didn't get to see).  It seemed to me that staying around Chonburi might become a little boring, but the big difference is that it's just so much more social.  Everyone is in the same hotel and you meet many other patients there and down at the clinic (not met one other patient at Chettawut's place).  During the 36 hours I was there I met up with at least 10 other girls, we went shopping, had drinks and dinner together and it was a lovely atmosphere which Suporn plainly encourages with suggested trips, arranged visits to local attractions and even events at his beach house.

So, based on residence options and local things to do, Chettawut wins hands down.  Socially, convenience and villagy atmosphere, Suporn bags it.  Hotel and other ancillary costs are pretty much equal, staff are equally friendly and helpful.  So if either of these different scenes help you make your decision about which of two of the top SRS surgeons in the world to go with, great!  However, there's plenty more detailed tech and surgery info around on this site that should be far more important in your reasons for a decision.

In my next post I'll start describing my actual experience with SRS with Dr Chettawut - I'm currently 4 days post op!

Hi Susan, I'm looking forward to the rest of your story.

You mentioned the swimming pool, but you can't use that post-op can you?

I'm curious what you thought of the two surgeons?

So, this is how it started.  I had decided to begin transition for a variety of reasons, which I won't go into, well over two years ago.  Afraid that just jumping straight in as the NHS GIC demanded I do would essentially end my career and kill my income, I decided to maintain my male persona when in public on business, but as I work a great deal from home that still meant that I was living most of my life as Susan.  Swapping backwards and forwards proved extremely depressing and difficult and after more than a year I finally decided enough was enough.  Support from my family and friends had been absolutely fantastic and as I thought through all the good friends and colleagues that I have around the world in my business - the satellite industry - I struggled to think of anyone who was likely to give me a really hard time.  The largest industry show in the world is held every year around March in Washington DC and, after a deep breath, I decided that I would try and talk directly to as many of my friends as possible and reveal I was transgender and was about to transition while at the conference.

March 2015.  I spoke directly to almost 100 close friends and explained my situation with my heart in my mouth (and on my sleeve).  I was stunned.  The reaction from everybody was unbelievably supportive and understanding.  The satellite industry is global, but tiny by other industry standards and everybody knows everybody so I swore everyone I told to secrecy knowing that I would have to send out a more general email after the show to many more friends and colleagues before the gossip started!!  I returned back to the UK and did just that - composed an email explaining that I was about to transition and that I wouldn't blame anyone if they didn't understand and would rather not deal with me in the future.  I sent this to 1,000 people, men and women, CEOs and Engineers from China to Colombia, from Russia to Romania, from India to Iran, from Saudi Arabia to Sweden, from USA to UAE .... on it goes!  Within just a few minutes the replies started to come in and within a month I received over 700 responses.

Why am I telling you all this?  Because of over 700 direct responses and another 100 or more people I have met with since I have had a total of three (3) negative reactions, all of which said although they didn't agree with my "choice" they still respected me and would not treat me any differently.  Everyone else was supportive, understanding, positive, complimentary on my courage, grateful for my honest and open message and many wanted to know if there was anything they could do to support me going forward.  Several said that they wanted me to tell them if I had any negative reactions because they would refuse to do business with those people any more!  Women in the industry thanked me for increasing the female contingent in our male dominated industry!  There were many other lovely, funny, witty, compassionate and inspirational messages.  All i want you to take away from this is that, if you are agonizing over whether to transition or not, you should know that we live in a different world now and most people are accepting, sympathetic, kind and tolerant - at least that has been my experience.  So don't be afraid and adopt the same attitude I quickly did after the wonderful conversations I had with wonderful people ... when someone tells you they have a problem with your transition, you can reply "Yes, YOU do have a problem, but its not mine!"

I simply can't name all the people who have been so overwhelmingly beautiful in this and other parts of my life, but you know who you are and please know how grateful I am to have you as friends and how much I love and appreciate you.

Shortly after this I began the real process.  I'd done the psycho referrals, had wonderful support from my GP, had engaged the best gender specialist in the UK (Dr Mike Perring) and quickly worked out that I was going to do things my way, on my nickle and not ruin my life in a way dictated by any government organisation.  I changed my name formally, made all the official changes (bank accounts, passport, driving licence, etc. etc.) and booked FFS with the Facial Team for July - there's a whole other story about that experience (all good).  When I'd had FFS and BA done I had to decide on which surgeon to opt for to do SRS.  I've given you the basics of my initial research in my first post on all this, but ultimately decided on Dr Chettawaut for several reasons - his results, the fact that he gave me confidence when I met with him, his dedication to getting the absolute best results and advanced techniques and, finally, the fact that his schedule didn't come across quite so production-line-ish as some others I checked out.

My way of dealing with surgery like this is pretty naive - once the decision is made I forget about it until the day comes when it happens.  I figure there's no reason to worry about things if you've done your research, chosen the best and booked the date.  This has helped me keep a positive attitude and rather than worry about the pain and healing, just deal with it when it happens.  However, this also almost tripped me up because I left Chettawut's requirements until the last minute and then my gender doctor refused to sign my certificate for surgery.  Now this annoys me, I have been essentially in full transition for over two years, but practicalities have meant that I had to pretend I was a guy every so often and there are certain people in the NHS that will challenge a letter of recommendation if it doesn't have "acceptable" proof.  This left my doctor in an impossible and difficult position - he simply couldn't risk the possibility of being censured, something I totally understand.  Fortunately, I was able to arrange recommendations from two Thai-based gender psychologists and - phew! - didn't have to cancel the surgery.

Hi AnonyMs, Sorry, I was already deep into my story when your questions came through.  1. Correct, you can't use the pool once you've had surgery, but it would be nice to have somewhere outside to relax and take in the sun.  Here at Vertical Suite the pool area is inside, hot, sticky and just not very nice, certainly not a nice place to hang around.

2. Views on Suporn vs Chettawut.  First I wouldn't claim to be an expert, but over the many years I've been following comments here and on other sites, it became apparent to me that Thailand generally had by far and away the best, most innovative and successful surgeons.  The US seems very expensive and I didn't ever come away with a comfortable feeling that it was the best place to go - I've been travelling around there for over 30 years now, so I do know quite a bit about the country.  UK SRS is simply a joke in my opinion.  So based on the fact that I was going to Thailand I came down to choosing between Suporn and Chettawut.  Personally, I don't think either is a bad choice, both are very innovative, have attention to detail, focus on the most important things (which for me are sensation, aesthetics and depth) and both have plenty of happy customers who would wholeheartedly recommend them.  My decision (aside of the various ancillary aspects I covered earlier) was based on the fact that someone else made comments on Suporn's operation becoming more like a production line these days and I could see that might have some truth to it after my visit down there plus I know people who are okay with their results from Suporn, but not totally happy and feel the need for some pretty heavy revisions (not something I fancy much!).  In the end, the fact that Suporn had no dates available for over a year and Chettawut was able to schedule me within six months (and even gave me options) left me feeling that his operation was not quite so production line-ish.

I would also comment that Chettawut makes the very valid point that everybody's body is different in many, many ways, so you can't necessarily expect a predefined, guaranteed result and I totally agree.  I'm sure there's people out there not totally happy with their final finish, but that's just life in my opinion. This is just a risk for us. Both Chettawut and Suporn left me feeling that they absolutely tried their best to get the most optimum result, but somehow I felt that Chettawut was a little more focused on what I really wanted and was more willing to listen and give me some time.  Suporn seemed to just want to do his standard presentation to me and then leave it to his assistants to deal with any questions I might have.

Hope this helps a little.

Gosh, I marked this as my SRS with Chettawut and haven't really said anything about my experience. 

Day 1: Arrived in Bangkok on Thursday 19th November 2015.  Dome, Chettawut's driver picked me up and kindly waited while I bought a local SIM card for my phone (better to do it at the airport because they understand English so much better there).  30 mins or so drive to the Vertical Suite, quick check in and wow, definitely very impressed with the standard of the accommodation.  Much nicer to be in an apartment than a hotel room.

Went out to the shopping centre, bought some essentials (check out MonkeyMel's posts on her experiences and what to prepare for food-wise - and thanks Mel, your account of your experience was REALLY useful).

Day 2: Dome picked me up early on Friday (had started my liquid starvation diet according to instructions at 7am that morning) and took me in for my consultation with Dr Chettawut.  He was very nice as before, happy to listen, happy to explain and his nurses (Nurse Sri is the head) were lovely, had blood test taken.  Then I was whisked off to another hospital to get an ECG test done and see the gender psychologists to get my letters of recommendation.

Day 3 & 4: drank cola, water, consome soup.  Wandered around the shopping areas and tried to stay away from anything that smelt delicious.  I've actually been on the 5/2 diet for 4 months (500 calories 2 days a week) and had read Mel's account throughly so was pretty well prepared for what was to come.  Actually, being without any solid food in the run up - no problem.  In the days immediately after - no problem (you're drugged up anyway).  I found it began to get a bit harder by the time I hit day 10 while I was back at the hotel.

Day 5: Monday 23rd.  Surgery day, but the operation starts late afternoon so you still have a bit of starving to do!  Prep was pretty straightforward, start of anesthetic, wheeled into operation room at 3pm and my first thought was OMG, this is tiny and not the best equipped or looking theater I have been in.  My concern lasted for about 30 seconds before ....... I woke up in the recovery room next door.  Dr Chettawut was telling me the op went well, no complications, quick surgery (6 hours), good depth, nothing to worry about.  I asked him a few blurred questions and got pretty basic answers before the nurses started to give me instructions and I was away in the clouds again.

How's the 5/2 diet work for you? I like the sound of it and wasn't thinking of trying it.

Its funny, but I quite like Suporn's production line approach, if you can call it that. To me it suggests he's busy and efficient. If you wanted something out of the ordinary it would likely be bad.

Its so good to hear your story. Hopefully I'll be able to say the same one day.

Re the 5/2 diet, it works well.  Good way of giving you eating discipline, definitely helps shrink your tummy, you'll lose weight gradually, but also its been reported that it significantly improves your health in terms of a bunch of things like blood sugar levels and growth hormones - kicks your body into healing mode not just growth mode.  Great Horizon documentary on the BBC by Michael Moseley.  Certainly helps you prep for the starvation days you have to undergo for SRS!

Regarding my views on the waiting list, I think we can all take a different view and I don't necessarily disagree with your points.  However, my view is that there are so many differences in our bodies that a production line approach might work for the majority of "average" people, but there's going to be a big chunk who need some serious extra work or a different approach.  Fact is that Chettawut openly admits that some of his patients only require a 6 hour op whilst others need 9 hours - now how do you standardise something like that.  Ultimately the danger is that in order to maintain the production run, you have to cut corners.  Personally, I'd rather have someone focused on the need for a customised and individual approach.  Let's face it, Ford has way more customers than BMW, but does that mean its a better car?

Day 6: First day of recovery.  Most of the morning was spent in the room by the operating theater.  Woke up to nurses giving me pills and instructions on what not to do.  Then the nurses came in to help me with my "required exercise" which involves getting out of bed and walking with assistance down the stairs to another room on the ground floor.  Personally, I suspect that this "exercise" is required because they have to move you from the tiny area upstairs to another recovery room in order to allow for the next patient who'll be operated on that afternoon.  With very little space and no elevators, assisted walking is the only way to achieve this.

Was this a big deal?  No, not for me.  The nurses surrounded me like mother hens looking after a single chick, but I was actually pretty with it and could probably have managed on my own had I needed to.  Sure it wasn't what I would describe as an invigorating walk and getting out and then back into bed wasn't the most comfortable of experiences, but I was fine with it.  I'd woken up without any pain at all, just a bit of discomfort and wondering why my bottom half felt like it was turning into a tellytubby what with all the plasters and padding around there.

Two things became apparent.  The first was that walking is not really a very accurate description - waddling would be nearer the truth (and you will be doing exactly this for around another week until you are finally unwrapped) and the second was that I was not going to have any real idea as to the actual result of the operation until the packing was removed.  In my case this did not happen until Day 11, 8 days after the surgery.

As Mel and others have described, the room is small and nice enough and quite honestly, you're not up to much, so it doesn't make a lot of difference.  The nurses are in and out every hour or so feeding you pills, some soy/soup drinks and changing your drip.  They are all very nice, but some don't really speak much English at all (not that my Thai is any match!!) and that can be quite frustrating, especially as they are pretty strict on their rules and procedures, some of which I just wanted an explanation about.  One or two, like Nurse Noi, were absolutely wonderful and very happy to explain things rather than just answering "Yes" to every question!!

I'm not a big TV fan, I mostly read, but I'd only manage a page or two before I dropped off to sleep.  It was only later when I realised that I was getting regular Tramadol that I finally understood why I couldn't keep my eyes open.  Still, sleep is good, really helps healing, makes sure you don't feel many of the little niggles that are going to get to you later.  The biggest of these is the catheter (at least it has been for me).  Pain - None; Discomfort - a bit; Bedsores - a few; but that damned catheter ... you feel like you're desperate to pee (and I mean DESPERATE!!) almost all the time.  I'm now in Day 12 and it's still in and still driving me crazy.  I always thought the pain would be the big thing, but I've had virtually none yet the catheter is literally driving me crazy, makes sitting so uncomfortable and really interferes with my sleep.

Day 7 and 8: Same, same, same.  Sleeping just as much, frustrated with lack of explanation just as much, worried about nothing just as much and still no pain.  Dr Chettawut visited briefly each day to ask how I felt - fine, no dizzyiness, no hallucinations, no pain.  "So, Dr Chettawut, can you give me any more details about the surgery?  Any complications?  Anything I should be happy or worried about?  How did I rate as a patient?  Any comments on what the result will look like when I'm unwrapped?" .... the answer "No, I told you everything when you came round after the operation, can't you remember?  Repeat my answers to me!".  So, bottom line, they can tell you nothing much until you are finally unwrapped. 

OMG, I now can't wait to get out of the clinic and back to the hotel which happens tomorrow, Day 9.  My wonderful sister, Fran, has now arrived and come in to visit me and is getting ready to receive me at the hotel the next day.  She takes a couple of pictures of me to send to my mother and brother .... within seconds the nurse is in the room .... "no pictures, not allowed, you signed document!".  Wow we say, uhh, ok.  I ask Fran to sit on my bed with me because there's not much in the way of chairs in there and so she perches on the edge holding my hand.  30 seconds later the nurse is in again, "you can't sit on the bed, please sit on the stool".  After she's gone, Fran and I look at each other and then stare up at the IP camera mounted in the ceiling focused on us.  Okay, we get it, 24x7 surveillance!

Day 9: Friday 27th November.  Day to go back to the hotel.  Nurse Sri comes in early to remove the drain tubes.  She warns me that this could hurt a bit, but it really doesn't.  She's very professional and only when she douses the holes with antiseptic does it sting a bit.  Apart from that, no big deal and its over and done with pretty quickly.  She tells me that its more painful than when I will have the wrapping removed which turns out to be kind of true ... removal of the packing which happened a week later was very uncomfortable, but not painful.

I'm prepped to move out and the nurses help me wander around the room.  I guess they get plenty of people who are really dizzy and unsteady after five days on their back and loads of drugs, but in my case I was just fine.  They insisted on fanning my face to keep me cool and aware, but eventually I had to take the fan off them because I really didn't need it and it was just annoying me.

Dome, the driver, turns up and the nurses help me out to the car and I'm whisked away to the Vertical Suite.  First time trying to sit down and wow! this is going to take a little getting used to!  At the hotel I'm popped into a wheelchair and taken up to the apartment and installed into my bed.  Quite honestly I'd rather have walked!

Now the whole catheter thing really starts taking off and my discomfort is almost 100% the constant need to pee - which of course I can't do.  I have to drink loads of water which I have been doing since finishing surgery, but now I have to empty my own catheter bag every couple of hours.  This is weird.  First off, I'm standing over the toilet emptying my bag and yet not feeling any relief as it all disappears.  Second, I haven't stood peeing into a toilet for several years and now, after just having the fire hose removed, here I am peeing as if I'm a guy.  Sure brings back memories!!

I sleep okay that night, but now I'm dreaming of being unpacked.  I still have to stay on a liquid/soft diet, although it doesn't have to be clear liquid like it did for the bowel cleansing regime before surgery.  I thought that this was going to be really hard to manage considering I'd not had anything really solid to eat for over a week, but it really didn't worry me at all.  I think this was where the 5/2 diet probably helped a lot.

Fran is wonderful, makes sure I take all my pills at the right time, stops me from doing naughty things like walking around too much and just keeps me laughing and entertained - she's a joy.  Before I left the clinic, they gave me a big bag of things (Mel's described them): panty pads, bed pads, dilators, gel, cleansing wipes.  Fran helps me organise all this and pops out to pick up anything we might need.  Best thing is that now I can have proper coffee.  I'm a bit of a fanatic about that and the first day I arrived I went out and bought a cheap espresso machine which is now a god-given gift from heaven!

Fran inspects me and is concerned at the sore redness all down my back and on my bottom.  Wonderful as she is, she thought to bring a pot of Sudocream which she plasters my back with.  We also treat a bunch of other sore areas where the plasters have rubbed me raw.  Sounds awful, but it really wasn't that bad and with Fran nursing me and giving me foot massages and us laughing and gossiping the world would have been perfect - were in not for that damned catheter!

Day 10/11: Coffee, soup, bit of sleep, few steps around the apartment, foot massage from Fran, but nothing much else.  Now just waiting for the unpacking and suddenly realise that I have to wait an extra day because the nurses don't work on Sundays.  This damned catheter and the need to pee is going to drive me absolutely nuts.  Considering I've still had no pain and only a bit of discomfort I really shouldn't complain, but I do constantly!!  Poor Fran, my brother, my mother and my dad have to listen to me whine every day!!  By Sunday evening I'm excited, scared, apprehensive, eager - everything - tomorrow's unwrapping day!  However, they haven't given me a time and much as both Fran and I are hoping it will be early we're concerned that it might be late in the day.  I call the clinic and Dr Chettawut himself tells me that they can't give a time because Nurse Sri has lots of patients to check on, but it will probably be late morning/early afternoon.

Day 12: Monday 30th November.  Holy Cow!  It's arrived, today's the day I actually see how things have gone.  Fran and I wait nervously before Nurse Sri and her assistant finally turn up around 11.30.  Fran is instantly banished from the room - no observers allowed to see the secret processes that go on.  Then we get to the most painful bit - tearing off the plaster bandages that have kept my tellytubby nappy in place all this time.  Off comes the wads of gauze which have been making me look like a pregnant telyytubby with a nappy and causing me to waddle like a penguin whenever I had to walk anywhere.  You're not allowed out of your room before this happens, but quite frankly I would have felt such a weirdo that this restriction isn't one I regret.

Now a bit of detail - skip the next para if you get squeamish or don't want to know.

First off, not just wow - WOW!! - I certainly have plenty of sensation.  I almost jump out of my skin every time Nurse Sri checks me.  Taking the packing out of my new vagina is an interesting experience!  At first there's very little feeling - I had wondered if they just rolled up a newspaper and stuffed it up there  but no, its a gauze strip that slowly unwinds.  Sri advises me to relax as the last part is pulled out and that's good advice because I REALLY feel that happen.  Little jumpy but really not bad or that painful at all.  Then they tested me out with the dilator - good depth - which didn't hurt at all (and I was definitely waiting for some pain. Weird to get those sensations so far up inside me!!  They also opened me up and did an internal examination.

OK everybody who looked away, you can read again!

Nurses assessment - healing great, swelling minimal, little bit more on the left than right, but good enough to expect catheta to come out in two days (yea!!!  ). Based on a scale of 1 (poor healing) to 10 (perfect healing) Sri (the head nurse) said I was normal, good result, actually near perfect.  So I said maybe I rated at 6-7 and she said no - a 9!!  Apparently I rate as a very good patient, great healing, good swelling, no bruising and very little pain.

Both Fran and I were overjoyed at the result,  absolutely fantastic. Easier (much) to walk and sit. Still have some restrictions, catheter still a bit frustrating, but much less than before, can't bend my legs or stretch myself as stitching still healing, but aside of that WOW, I've been so lucky both with the result, the lack of pain and the fantastic support I've had from Fran  , Adrian  , Mummy  , Richard  and so many others  .

Now I've seen the result, felt what I have, experienced so much I can make an initial judgement on Dr Chettawut and his staff.  Would I recommend them?  Yes, absolutely.  They are very rigorous in their procedures and restrictions, but so far, I have to say that they have done an absolutely fabulous job and I feel very confident that I made the right choice.  All aspects - sensation, appearance and depth definitely meet my highest expectations as of now.  Sure, there's plenty more to happen and lots of healing left to do and I'll keep my judgments coming, but up to this moment, I would give them a 9 to 9.5 out of 10.

Thanks so much for your thorough account of your experiences thus far.  I'll be there in the latter part of next month.  This is very encouraging info.  I won't be at the clinic though as Chett. is requiring that I have the surgery in a hospital. (Don't know which one yet)  I don't feel like I'm high risk, but as I will turn 68 on  12 Dec. he's being extremely cautious.
I can't fault him for that.

I guess when my time comes to recount the experience, I'll be able to provide a different twist based upon my hospital experience.  I'll be at the "Vertical" as well and will be on my own so my independent spirit will surely be tested.  Your comments about having to empty the catheter bag on my own struck a note.

Have bookmarked your thread and will review it carefully B4 I depart.

Thanks!

Hugz,
Joi

Hi Joi, If my account has been of any help for you, then I'm very happy.  I wish you the greatest of success with your change and I do believe that you've made the right choice in opting for Chettawut - he's really done a great job with me.  I hope you're healing process goes well - my belief if that a positive attitude is a major part of making this happen so please be positive in yourself, with the team, with your experience and everything you can.  I'm sure you will be because you look fabulous in your picture.

Hugz 2 u 2! Sue x

Day 13: Tuesday 1st December.  After finally being able to shower, wash my hair and actually not look like a wreck it was lovely to be able to accompany Fran down to breakfast in the hotel.  A long skirt hid that damned catheter and it was so nice to step out of the apartment for the first time in five days.

Nurse Sri and her assistant, Nurse Noi turned up around 11 to give me my first lesson in dilation.  I had been warned that this might hurt a bit because after the packing had been removed the "wound" would have begun to close up overnight.  Fran gave me some great lessons on relaxing through several breathing techniques that she had picked up through her own childbirth experiences (my Mummy had already told me to view the experience like having a child!) and her fanatical addiction to fitness (any girl would kill for her body!).

The first dilation penetration was certainly a new experience and one which needed a great deal of relaxation to make it as easy as possible.  Uncomfortable and unusual would probably be the best way of describing the experience.  Fortunately, I have had no bleeding at all from dilation which is a good thing I think.  However, it takes a bit of getting used to because the experience of being penetrated in this part of your body is (unsurprisingly!) a new one.  Nurses Sri and Noi judged my swelling and healing to be good and Nurse Sri said that she thought she would be able to remove the catheter the next day - hurray!  I begged her to guarantee this for me!!  She said no, she'd make the judgement on that tomorrow.  Sri's directions were extremely precise and she has great attention to detail borne of a great deal of experience.  I wouldn't say that the process of dilation is simple, but no doubt it will become so over time. 

She then went off to see to other patients leaving me with my 15 minute dilation ongoing and telling me to keep it up until she returned .... ..... ..... ..... ..... it felt like an hour before she was back and I was released (but it wasn't!).  Fran lay down beside me and kept me entertained while this went on.  I must confess that the prospect of now having to do this for two and a half hours a day for the next year or more was the only thing that has caused me to wonder whether I made the right choice to have SRS.  There is no question that the commitment to ensuring that the result is first class is really substantial and will be a major part of your life over the next few years.

I can't remember if I've already covered this (forgive me if I have), but quite a few people have asked me if I was likely to feel any regret at losing my penis.  The answer before SRS was no, definitely not, I felt I would be gaining something I'd always wanted not losing something I loved.  Don't get me wrong, I'm 54 and no spring chicken, life as a guy has not been bad despite the fact that I've always wanted to be and felt like a girl.  I've been extremely lucky with a job I love every day, a massive community of great friends and colleagues, an innovative and vibrant industry that is spread globally and which has taken me to more than 70 countries over the past 30 years.  One of the hardest things to accept as part of transition has been the realisation that I probably wouldn't have achieved what I have if I had not been a guy (at least everybody thinking I was a guy!).  Nevertheless, I don't feel I have lost anything by transitioning, I'm just able to be myself and (perhaps?) show that a girl's brain (or luck!) can achieve what a guy can!

The rest of the day was spent resting, reading and anticipating the removal of the catheter tomorrow.  I confess, I haven't been sleeping that well mainly because of the catheter.  It's running through a highly sensitive place and any movement, stretching, turning .. whatever, just awakens my desperate need to pee.  Several times I've almost jumped out of bed to run to the loo before realising that it's not going to do me any good and all I really need to do is check the weight of my bag to see if it needs emptying.

Day 14: Tuesday 2nd December.  In many ways today was THE day.  Sounds silly to many probably, but the possible removal of the catheter – the last thing I still had on me which showed I have just had surgery – was the ultimate finale.  I was both excited and anxious that it would actually happen and, I have to confess, not a little scared about just how painful it would be.  This is the third major surgery I've had in the past five months and each time the catheter removal was not something I was anxious to repeat!

Fran and I got up, went down to breakfast and then sat about doing various little things, chatting, drinking coffee (I'm a nut for coffee as I said) and waiting.  Nurse Sri turned up on her own around 11.30 and poor soul she looked shattered.  You can't believe how hard she and all of Chettawut's staff work, but her especially.  After having to do the rounds of all the patients in the three hotels (she personally checks on everyone), she then goes off to assist Dr Chettawut in that day's surgery which could run for 9 hours – that's tough!

Nurse Sri judged that today WAS the day for the catheter removal, my healing and swelling was doing great.  OH THANK GOODNESS!!  She did a fabulous job.  It wasn't the nicest of experiences, but it wasn't half as bad as I had dreamt it might be.  Next thing I know – it's gone, finally!  She then monitored my dilation, instructing me when necessary and then before she left for the rest of the patients she gave me some pills to help with my first real pee as a girl – cuts down the burning sensation apparently.

After finishing dilation and dancing around stark naked, finally able to see my entire self as the girl I had always dreamt of being, but never thought would ever be possible, I jumped in the shower.  Fran and I both stared at the new me in the mirror with both of us expressing our amazement at it all.  We took a few pics and then I demanded that we go out, just for a short expedition because I so desperately needed to stretch my legs and see something different from the hotel.  I know this is not sanctioned and Fran tried to persuade me not to, but I felt fantastic and just had to.  We walked gently over to the Paradise shopping centre, had a wander round some shops, a nice coffee at Starbucks (surprise, surprise!) and then we wandered gently back to the hotel.

Around this time I think the move over the last few days from liquids to solids finally kicked in its reaction and I spent a good deal of time on the loo.  First practice pee as girl!!  Everything worked just brilliantly, no pain, no difficulty, just felt perfectly natural.

So that's it to date – finally I've posted this the day it all actually happened!  Everything is really great.  I wanted to give Nurse Sri a big hug for her help and expertise today, but that's a bit hard when you're on your back with your legs in the air!!  Couldn't have come this far or this well without Fran though – bless her, she's been such a fabulous companion and carer, I couldn't have asked for anyone better or more beautiful as a person.  She has been so important in smoothing me through this whole process and I'll miss her when she leaves on Friday, but I'm now back up and running, so the dates she's been with me have been perfect and it has been so good of her to sacrifice time with her children and my brother, Adrian, who has had to shoulder the burden of their family responsibilities while she's been here.  Thank you so, so much both of you.  I'm so unbelievably blessed with my family  .

Great stuff Sasha!  Free at Last!  So happy for you.
Thanks for the compliment on my pic.

Your comments RE: the long wait for transition and surgery very much mirror my own.  I was married for 38 yrs.,
raised 3 sons and worked in the oil & gas industry for over 30 yrs.  Transition during that period of my life would have been a disaster for me and my family.  As many of us do, I suffered in silence not knowing if this would ever become a reality.  It has come late in life and now it's within reach.  Fortunately,  I'm healthy enough to qualify for the surgery.
I am so exited. Just counting the days and will soon be sorting out my packing list.

Hugz,

Joi

I just want to let you know I'm reading your posts with great interest. I've nothing much to say, but I'm here.

I really appreciate the detailed account. Thanks for being so open about it!

I also wanted to say I really appreciate you for sharing your experiences.  I plan on having my GCS with Dr. Chettawut next summer so this is of great interest to me.  Thanks so much and I wish you all the best as you continue with your recovery.

How much depth did u get?