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Ok, heres one for ya.... relationary question (not "relations"... silly)

Started by abd789, November 30, 2015, 07:12:07 PM

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abd789

Ok, first off I really never had friends... I currently have none, havent had any in years. Im a loner except for my wife

but over the past few months Ive been wanting to have chats and friends and girl talk

my wife has a good friend that thinks I am great and she knows about Rita (her and her female fiance come for dinner now and then)
my wifes aunt also has a good friend who is one that I told on thanksgiving

now both of these people told me "I love you"... just in conversation and it made me feel awesome
now... I dont feel its attractive, or a I want you love... (thats the kind Im used to)
it made me feel great and I felt as though it was a different meaning than when a guy says it

footnote---- these girls are both attracted to women... ???

so, I have a desire to talk, chat, text maybe talk on the phone with these girls, like I used to when I did have friends
one is living with/engaged to another woman who is also our friend
the other Im not sure.

but I feel strange about striking up private or one on one conversations with them.
I find myself writing a funny text a few times a day only to delete it and being sad for it

Whats your opinion on this? Am I right or wrong to avoid this....  Im not trying to make a "play" for them (but I must admit dirty thoughts did cross my mind  ::))
I guess in the "guy" world, you dont do such things, but I really just want to make and have friends who I can be myself with. Id love to even hang out... one is a photographer and said she'd love to come over and take pics of me

....... ??? :( :o...... I dont know.... maybe I am answering my own question here....

confused, because, again, Im sensoring myself and not just being
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cindianna_jones

If you value your relationship with your wife,  you should take care. There is no reason to flirt with disaster. You could end up with no friends.

Cindi
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abd789

Thanks Cindi

so its not different in "girl" minds?

you think it could end it a fling or two?

I guess I was hoping for just a couple girls hanging out and being friends... and my dirty male mind remnants were just making those thoughts pop up....

So would it be any different if I seek out my own female friends? I surely dont want male friends.... btw, I could go either way, so male friends wouldnt make it any "safer"

BTW, I have talked about it to my wife (not the dirty thoughts)
and she is fine with me pursuing friends of either sex, even her friends
and she was present during both "I love yous"

I said something nice and they responded with a smile and a "Ah, I love you"

My OP seemed not so clear, I realize
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Anna33

that could mean anything. To be honest. I tell my girl friends, whether they are straight or les, 'i love you' and it doesn't mean that it is passional love, it means that I love their personality and have a wonderful time with them.

I agree with cindi. If you choose to be in a relationship, find yourself some friends that have nothing to do with your partner. How'd you feel if you invited a friend over and then your partner started texting with them secretly?

Try susan's chat. It's fun and girls and boys are adorable there :) we are a crazy bunch.
The truth is, I often like women. I like their unconventionality. I like their completeness. I like their anonymity. - Virginia Woolf
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abd789

It wouldnt be secret texting, but I wouldnt be like .... "Hey, I texted _____ 3 times today"
I surely would not expect her to tell me about every text she sends to friends.

Im thankful for all your suggestions and time

Im only trying to figure out if there is a difference between the way men view this and the way women view it

Im not thinking either said anything in a passionate way... I know it was friendly and a sign of friendship

this is why I am asking the question because I am confused about how it works in girl world. I know I want to be free to send cute things, pics, say hi, etc. But the guy part of me knows that would have a different meaning, or I think anyway ???
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