People are driving me slightly nuts.



In a lot of situations with my "usual" friends, or even acquantainces, I have suddenly become extra interesting because now I identify as transgender, and they´d never met a transgender person before.

They are very curious and I completely understand. But now all my conversations with everybody are trans related  I used to talk about other topics with people. Average topics.

I wonder how long it takes before I get to be normal again, instead of that transgender person 

This is something I lack TBH. I don't have a lot of friends who talk about my transness with me, that's so weird to think about hahaha.

Quote from: November Fox on December 02, 2015, 03:36:02 PM
People are driving me slightly nuts.



In a lot of situations with my "usual" friends, or even acquantainces, I have suddenly become extra interesting because now I identify as transgender, and they´d never met a transgender person before.

They are very curious and I completely understand. But now all my conversations with everybody are trans related  I used to talk about other topics with people. Average topics.

I wonder how long it takes before I get to be normal again, instead of that transgender person 

Well you can change the subject yourself...
and you might say that transgender people are people too 


hugs

I did change the subject a couple of times, but inevitably it comes back to that subject because they´re curious about it. Which is fine and I don´t mind talking about it, but it´s been taking over my social life 

I guess I am lucky in the sense of having a lot of people around me who are interested and want to talk about it. Didn´t realize that.

Quote from: November Fox on December 02, 2015, 03:47:51 PM
I did change the subject a couple of times, but inevitably it comes back to that subject because they´re curious about it. Which is fine and I don´t mind talking about it, but it´s been taking over my social life 

I guess I am lucky in the sense of having a lot of people around me who are interested and want to talk about it. Didn´t realize that.

Well you might gently come back to subjects you are interested in...

"But enough about me!"

I actually wish people would let me talk about it more. The friends that I'm out to (not publicly out) seem to either completely ignore/forget what I told them and whenever I wanna talk about my feelings they just brush off the subject.

You could always say you'd rather talk about something else, maybe mention that you're sick of only talking about trans-related subjects and hope they get the hint?

I have a quite open minded friend circle, I think.

This also means that they want to discuss anything that they are new to. Which is awesome of course - the more they learn, the better for everybody.

I think the "enough about me" phrase could really work! I´m going to use that the next time  If that doesn´t work I´ll just be sincere with them and tell them that I´d really rather talk "average subjects" now.

I just don't tell people I'm trans and enjoy the extreme confusion they obviously feel about my androgynous looks but are too polite to express.  Does that make me sadistic?     Seriously, though, I don't like talking about being trans, and my friends respect that. If people do bring up me being trans, I usually switch the topic by bringing up how much I like men.  Since I live in Texas people usually back away quickly from the convo or change the subject themselves 'cause that gay stuff is really weird.

How it usually goes:

"So you're transgender?  What does that mean?  How far along are you?  Can you tell me about it?"

"Yup, I'm a trans man, which is really awesome 'cause when I grow facial hair I'll be able to rub it against my boyfriend's facial hair and we can be all facial hairy together.  Facial hair is sexy, but not Duck Dynasty facial hair.  More of the "just woke up" scruff kind of thing."

"You like men?  But you said you're a transgender man.  Shouldn't you like women?"

"Why?  Dudes are fun.  And Elton John agrees with me.  You know who's really hairy AND hot?  The guy who plays Ernie Calhoun on Video Game High School.  I would so get down with that.  Not-hairy guys are hot, too, though.  Calvin Kline underwear models are hot, and they are totally waxed.  And Abercrombie guys.  Sometimes I go to that store just to get one of their paper bags, you know, the kind that have mostly naked guys on them?  Have you ever done that?"

"No... I... Um, okay... Well, I'm gonna go get another drink now...  Good luck with your... thing... men... whatever.  Yeah."


Now that I look back over that, it might have less to do with the topic and more to do with the fact that I just won't stay on the trans topic to save my life, and talking about inappropriate attraction is my go to... I guess some people don't WANT to talk about guys all the time.  And yes, I was already pervy like this BEFORE I started T.   

That really must suck, I'm glad my friends don't bother me with too many questions. A lot of my friends know multiple other trans people. Those who don't will usually ask me some questions the first time we talk about it, and then that's that. I don't like talking about it, and quite frankly, I'm glad they don't either.

I used to be best friends with an MtF. She was such a cool person and somehow had a lot of friends despite never leaving her house. Over the course of a few years, it became that all she would ever talk about was trans things, feminism and hating men. She lost her individual identity and with that, her friends (she also became psycho on top of these things). The only other trans person I met in person also began only talking about trans things when he came out. I felt so strange just wanting to act like and be treated like a normal person, because I began to think that this was the way all trans people acted. I'm so glad meeting more and more people online who are just normal people, who happen to be trans. Hopefully over time your friends get bored of talking about it and can get back to normal life conversations!

I´ve noticed a decline in the obsession to talk about this  it was very much related to it being so new for them. I think some people process it by needing to chat about it for a long time.

It´s definitely becoming less of a huge deal for me, just a normal part of life. I think they are picking up on that signal now. To me I´m just another guy with a bunch of friends, I´m hoping that my conversations about this will smoothe out with time and become less "everyday material".

Quote from: FtMitch on December 03, 2015, 08:35:13 PM
I just don't tell people I'm trans and enjoy the extreme confusion they obviously feel about my androgynous looks but are too polite to express.  Does that make me sadistic?     Seriously, though, I don't like talking about being trans, and my friends respect that. If people do bring up me being trans, I usually switch the topic by bringing up how much I like men.

I definitely have a "deal with it" streak, where sometimes I´ll just put up pictures of me online for all my friends to see (I came out, but not all of them read my actual post about it, so some are left confused). I´m obviously male now and it´s very interesting to see people´s reactions, but they´re overwhelmingly positive.

Quote from: Muscle Matt on December 13, 2015, 02:16:01 PMShe lost her individual identity and with that, her friends (she also became psycho on top of these things). The only other trans person I met in person also began only talking about trans things when he came out. I felt so strange just wanting to act like and be treated like a normal person, because I began to think that this was the way all trans people acted. I'm so glad meeting more and more people online who are just normal people, who happen to be trans. Hopefully over time your friends get bored of talking about it and can get back to normal life conversations!

I´m pretty much the only transgender most of my friends know, so I´m a little bit of a novelty for them and that can both be annoying as well as informative for them (spread the knowledge...) though I´m not always in the mood for being a trans-encyclopedia.

Yeah retaining a sense of identity is important especially when it comes to labels, but I find people tend to confuse identity with labels at times (for example people with PTSD might not realize that their whole identity isn´t defined by PTSD). Equally important for transgendered people to remember that being transgender is just an aspect of their individuality...

Mental illness can really mess people up, I know all about it. It can be very hard to get through. Personally I would not use the word "psycho" because it has connotations like being crazy, which can be hurtful to the person in question - that is my respectful opinion.

I feel like people talk about it less since I came out - like casual discussion of trans celebrities or characters used to be okay but now it's too real or something? Maybe they just don't want to offend me, but I just really want to talk to someone about transparent season 2 or the Marsha P Johnson movie

Quote from: November Fox on December 02, 2015, 03:36:02 PM
People are driving me slightly nuts.



In a lot of situations with my "usual" friends, or even acquantainces, I have suddenly become extra interesting because now I identify as transgender, and they´d never met a transgender person before.

They are very curious and I completely understand. But now all my conversations with everybody are trans related  I used to talk about other topics with people. Average topics.

I wonder how long it takes before I get to be normal again, instead of that transgender person 

I definitely get this. I used to talk to a girl that all our conversations would lead back to me being trans and it just became pretty annoying after awhile because I had already answered so many questions and things about it that I just felt like something shiny and interesting. But to me trans is what I am, not who I am. Yes, it's a big part of my life but I'm made up of more things than just that, ya know? But like someone else said above, you can always change the subject and also reference them to google lol