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Coming Out?

Started by carnuatus, December 02, 2015, 08:52:17 PM

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carnuatus

I present ambiguously gender-wise and I want to come out to my friends and professors at college but I don't know where to begin.
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LatrellHK

Well for me personally, I just told all my professors on the first day that I go by Chris and told them the correct pronouns to use and then added that I simply don't answer to female pronouns or my real name. It works for me so if you can try that.

With friends, try edging them towards your preferred name and stuff. With my old friends from high school, I told them to just call me by my last name if they can't get Chris yet, so try that. And if they ask why I generally just told them. Hopefully this helps you.
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November Fox

I was also ambiguous at the start, and I think that made it easier for me and for the people around. It wasn´t so much of a shock as it could have been, had I clearly been one gender.

At first I identified as genderfluid and was in a trans group so first I told some of my transgender identified friends about it, later some close friends, and later other people.

I haven´t told my employer yet but I think they have a vague idea that something´s going on. As for your professors, it might be easier if you start with a bunch of close friends (so you get more used to the idea of telling people) and then you approach them.
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Jak

Re professors - Depending upon university policy, they might be willing to change your name in the registrar's office, even without legal documentation, to a "designated nickname." This means that the course rosters, etc. will have your preferred name. Depends on the place.

Also, they should be encouraging faculty to have a section of the syllabus that states something like this: "Class rosters are provided to the instructor with the student's legal name or designated nickname. I will gladly honor your request to address you by an alternate name; please alert me so that I may make changes to my records. Additionally, feel free to share the appropriate pronoun that you would like me to use when referring to you. Through my teaching and the content of this course, I aim to affirm people of all gender expressions and gender identities. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me."

On the first day of classes, I have everyone introduce themselves and indicate their pronouns. I find that young people today (yeah, I'm old) don't blink an eye. Of course if you're at Oral Roberts U or some such, different story.

Check the university website, registrar's office site, etc. for policies, recommendations, etc. Good luck!
Top surgery: 14 December 2015
T-pellets: 23 December 2016
Androgel: 30 January 2018
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sam1234

I'd already transitioned part way by the time I started college, but at work and with friends, I just came right out and told them. For the most part, they responded well, at least to my face. Part of your success with telling people is the way you tell them. If you are confident and don't act apologetic or ashamed, that goes a long way.

Once you have things legalized, (name and gender), make sure to have your transcripts changed so you won't have to explain anything in the future if you don't want to.

sam1234
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