I spoke to someone at where I work. She's the only one who knows how I feel. Im trying to get out from under the guys dress code of this collar rule. It feels like Im being forced to be a boy when inside Im not. I talked to her about it today and she told me give her some ideas. I think she might know what Im getting at possibly. The fact that she told me that to write up what Im feeling and all is good news to me.

It's VERY hard going to work and feeling like well hey again I have to follow this rule like Im a boy to. It depresses me and it's an awful feeling I try to hide. This could greatly reduce my stress and pain. To not be put in and grouped as a boy.

I one time last year actually got in trouble for not wearing the collared shirt and I got wrote up, I than received a copy of the write up and I made a copy and changed all the his, him and he words to female wording to keep to myself. It bugged me so bad seeing it written as if Im a boy. I tried to ask to ask the guy why I have to wear collared shirts and his response was Im a boy. Well was I offended.

Im hoping to see this changed so I can be even more myself and not be grouped in as a guy. I can't help how I feel. Im not a boy. I just want them to see me as Larisa, a sweet, pretty and kind girl who wants the world to see her, the real me. While that is not possible, I can do things to help me be me. I hope I get to be more like myself.

Hi Larisa
It sound to me like maybe you should just come out at work. I think that would help with a lot of things. plus the fact that the company would have to abide by all the laws for discrimination. You have the right to be your self and they should not be the ones to tell you that any different.Good luck in your decision.

Hugs to you
Lyndsey

Hmm, I'm not sure if I'd be of any help. I was fortunate enough to get a laid back boss. I work at a computer store as a computer tech (building them and programming). There's no dress code and he's even openly admitted that transgendered/transsexual people are all normal, just looking to be themselves. I didn't even bring up the subject. Without even coming out to him, he's already said it makes no difference to him. I hope they'll eventually have the same reaction for you if you decide to come out at work, I mean there's still the whole dress code issue, but at least they'll know.

If you live in the U.S., it is against federal law to have one dress code for women and another for men. That is sex discrimination and is illegal everywhere in America. You don't need need to come out as Trans in order to be covered by this law. In fact, whether you are trans or not is not something your employer has a right to know.

Don't know whether that is true in other countries.

I'm not a lawyer.  However, the workplacefairness.org (under grooming codes) website has a pretty extensive explanation of how different dress codes for men and women have been upheld.  It's a pretty complicated subject but it seems to be perfectly allowable to have one dress code for men and another for women.  That comes with a variety of constraints on the implementation.  The site has a number examples showing how divergent those codes can be and still be upheld in court.  It is illegal to have a code for either men/women but not for the other.   

I was soo nervous and even more when she told me she read what I wrote. I was so afraid like that I might get backlash even though she kinda knew before. She was soo positive and receptive to me. She told me it was perfect what I wrote her and she promises to keep my secret among her and her boss to. She even asked me if it was okay to speak to her boss.

This looks hopeful right now and I think I have a good chance of being able to be more myself. This was awkward and hard to do but needed to be done and hopefully it's good news next week!!