Not sure if someone has already posted about this, I'm sure they have, but this question popped in my head today after using the public restroom. When is it time to switch to the other bathroom? Like at what point do you start to get weird looks and have to use the other room? I am no where near using the mens room but I should probably know when to switch right?

Whenever you feel like it.  On the bright side, you are unlikely to be confronted in the men's room even if you don't pass yet.  I used to use the men's room when presenting as a very effeminate female at clubs because the women's restrooms would run out of toilet paper.  Other ladies would suffer though, and I'd be all: screw it, I'm using the men's.  I'd walk in and guys at the urinals would look at me for about two seconds then go back to their business.  What is most important is that you feel comfortable enough.  Now that I am out, I actually feel LESS comfortable using the men's room, because I am still fighting feelings of being "fake" and not belonging there.  (Where before I just didn't give a crap whether I belonged or not, I would do as I pleased, lol.)  So sometimes I use the men's and other times I use the women's.  I wouldn't worry about women calling you out until you start growing facial hair, though.  Until then I bet they give you the benefit of the doubt (unless you're lucky enough to be, like, six feet tall and built like a linebacker).

When I was in public school, I got mistaken as male all the time in the women's bathroom. I liked it personally but women would get offended. And that was pre hormones, so sadly I'm not good at this question but overall? Use the mens when you're comfortable, when you reach that point where using the women's just has no benefit to you and it's, idk weird? I've been using the men's for a year now.

I suffered in the women's room for 43 years.  Always getting looks and sometimes, comments.  This was pre-T.  The anxiety around using the bathroom was horrid.

Why my stupid self didn't switch to the men's earlier I don't know.

I finally decided I should just go in there.  I had no anxiety about it, even the first time.  Which is really weird.  I have never had a problem.

I can always find a stall (I pass 100% now, so doesn't matter.  Pre-t 85%-90% of the time, until I spoke).

My advice:

If you are getting "looks" in the women's room, switch.  If no one gives you a second glance then you should consider staying in the women's room.  With that said, enough people say that men don't care that you could always try it.  Just don't give eye contact.

Whenever you feel comfortable switching. I passed as male about 50% of the time pre-everything, probably more when I didn't open my mouth. I got the occasional double take in the women's restroom. I've never had any issues using the men's - no looks, no comments. I'd suggest reading up on men's bathroom etiquette before you do.

I don't remember the exact point in my transition that I made the switch. The only anxiety I've ever had about it is the mental worry that someone would judge the sound of my peeing as female (I don't STP in public). And then I realized how ridiculous that was and got over myself.

Men's restrooms in general are much more business oriented than women's. Guys are in and out as fast as possible. No one is going to waste their time checking you out, deciding if you belong there, etc. as long as you are in the process of doing what you came there to do.

Thanks guys! I was just wondering because I was in my work clothes so it was a button up and slacks and the waiter called me sir so I figured people who weren't that up close to me would think I was a dude too. As I was walking towards the bathroom these two women did look at me and of course the two little girls that walked in as I was coming out the stall stared too lol. And that's just when the question popped up.

Quote from: FtMitch on December 03, 2015, 08:57:06 PM
Whenever you feel like it.  On the bright side, you are unlikely to be confronted in the men's room even if you don't pass yet.  I used to use the men's room when presenting as a very effeminate female at clubs because the women's restrooms would run out of toilet paper.  Other ladies would suffer though, and I'd be all: screw it, I'm using the men's.  I'd walk in and guys at the urinals would look at me for about two seconds then go back to their business.  What is most important is that you feel comfortable enough.  Now that I am out, I actually feel LESS comfortable using the men's room, because I am still fighting feelings of being "fake" and not belonging there.  (Where before I just didn't give a crap whether I belonged or not, I would do as I pleased, lol.)  So sometimes I use the men's and other times I use the women's.  I wouldn't worry about women calling you out until you start growing facial hair, though.  Until then I bet they give you the benefit of the doubt (unless you're lucky enough to be, like, six feet tall and built like a linebacker).

you make a good point I've used the men's room plenty of times because I couldn't hold it and the wait for the womens is always stupid long for no reason! but now it just seems like I'm gonna get judged or something

Quote from: FTMax on December 04, 2015, 08:39:08 AM
I don't remember the exact point in my transition that I made the switch. The only anxiety I've ever had about it is the mental worry that someone would judge the sound of my peeing as female (I don't STP in public). And then I realized how ridiculous that was and got over myself.

I never even thought about stp yet so I doubt I'll be doing that anytime soon though it is probably way more convenient than how girls do it

Yeah, whenever you feel confident enough and/or are starting to be read as male by strangers is a good time.

It's not like guys would be anywhere near as freaked if you were clocked as female walking into the men's room as women can be about someone clocked as male walking into the women's. The men's room isn't a place we wanna hang out in for long talking to each other and looking at each other, usually. Just a business area and 99% of people treat it as such, get in and get out. All good news for us.

Quote from: haeden on December 04, 2015, 11:06:57 AM
I never even thought about stp yet so I doubt I'll be doing that anytime soon though it is probably way more convenient than how girls do it

Haha, don't be so sure. STPs often have a steep learning curve and their own set of concerns to go with them (wiping, cleaning, hiding it if it isn't also a packer, etc.). In an ideal world where they functioned optimally and you had access to a sink to clean it off if you wanted, I'd say they're more convenient. But otherwise, not so much.

Quote from: T.K.G.W. on December 04, 2015, 02:37:40 PM
Yeah, whenever you feel confident enough and/or are starting to be read as male by strangers is a good time.

It's not like guys would be anywhere near as freaked if you were clocked as female walking into the men's room as women can be about someone clocked as male walking into the women's. The men's room isn't a place we wanna hang out in for long talking to each other and looking at each other, usually. Just a business area and 99% of people treat it as such, get in and get out. All good news for us.

yeah women are crazy about their bathrooms. I never understood why they spend so much time in there.

Quote from: FTMax on December 04, 2015, 03:17:17 PM
Haha, don't be so sure. STPs often have a steep learning curve and their own set of concerns to go with them (wiping, cleaning, hiding it if it isn't also a packer, etc.). In an ideal world where they functioned optimally and you had access to a sink to clean it off if you wanted, I'd say they're more convenient. But otherwise, not so much.

lol I did see that some people said to practice in your own room first but I didn't think it would be that difficult or involve so much

Quote from: FTMax on December 04, 2015, 08:39:08 AM
The only anxiety I've ever had about it is the mental worry that someone would judge the sound of my peeing as female (I don't STP in public). And then I realized how ridiculous that was and got over myself.

this!!!
also for me, i unfortunately live in a place where everyone knows everyone, so i fear i'll run into someone i used to go to school with.. i'm also surrounded by all white everything 

Quote from: Bimmer Guy on December 03, 2015, 09:50:25 PM
I suffered in the women's room for 43 years.  Always getting looks and sometimes, comments.  This was pre-T.  The anxiety around using the bathroom was horrid.

Why my stupid self didn't switch to the men's earlier I don't know.

I finally decided I should just go in there.  I had no anxiety about it, even the first time.  Which is really weird.  I have never had a problem.

I can always find a stall (I pass 100% now, so doesn't matter.  Pre-t 85%-90% of the time, until I spoke).

My advice:

If you are getting "looks" in the women's room, switch.  If no one gives you a second glance then you should consider staying in the women's room.  With that said, enough people say that men don't care that you could always try it.  Just don't give eye contact.

Bimmer Guy:
I remember when I was young i would get kicked out of the Girls
locker at the pool i would go to. You could here them screaming "There is a boy in the women locker room!" It was like I was feeling guys some much when younger that they saw it too. Oh and yea no eye contact or chatting in the men's room unless someone  speaks to ya.

The day I walked into a public restroom at the mall and made a little girl run out was the day I stopped using public restrooms. Worst feeling ever, I was pre-t, not out to my family, but I passed.
It took me years to start using men's restrooms. I'd scope out family restrooms or just hold it, which I don't recommend.

Quote from: notyouraverageguy on December 06, 2015, 04:34:17 AM
The day I walked into a public restroom at the mall and made a little girl run out was the day I stopped using public restrooms. Worst feeling ever, I was pre-t, not out to my family, but I passed.
It took me years to start using men's restrooms. I'd scope out family restrooms or just hold it, which I don't recommend.

Yeah I could never hold my pee that's just not an option

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