Hello I'm a 20 year old female at the moment and my whole life I've been feeling a bit off. I've always though I should be male. I remember even when I was so young I didn't fully understand gender concepts I felt like something was off and I didn't want to be the way I was. I'm here because recently especially I'm starting to figure out if a transition would be right for me. I feel more confident and comfortable and considerably less anxious when I cross dress as a male and makeup to make my face look more masculine. There are a few things I'm still having trouble with though. In my
Mind I would love to be a very feminine man. I don't want to abandon my femininity entirely I just want to be further on the masculine side and identify as a man. Also, I'm afraid to make any permanent changes. I'm scared that I will do something I regret. I also am still attracted to men even though I see myself as a man and I don't really know what this entails in this situation. So hopefully I can find help here figuring out what steps I should take to figure out if a full transition is right for me and maybe get some advice from those who have been through anything similar. nice to meet you all and I look forward to being active here.

Greetings Mitternaht and welcome to Susan's.

Most start out searching if this  or that is right for them. There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man. I think most just want to be themselves, whoever that may be.

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Hi Mitternacht 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hello

Welcome to the site. I hope you find it a safe place to explore and ask questions, there's lots of lovely people here who know things

Just like cisgender men, transgender men can be whatever they want; masculine, feminine, straight, gay and anywhere in-between or beyond. Although, in my experience, there can sometimes be more pressure on transpeople to conform to gender stereotypes because people are looking for an excuse to invalidate our gender, it at least feels like that to me sometimes anyway. Conforming to gender stereotypes can also be about feeling safe in a transphobic environment. But we all are who we are whatever other people think. It's very liberating being your true self, whatever that turns out to be for you.

Bay xxx

A hearty welcome to Susan's, Mitternacht. You have a good of what you want to be. There's nothing wrong with being a feminine man. The main thing is that you be yourself. There are some resources here that may help you. It took me awhile to find where I'm most comfortable but eventually I did. I haven't had any surgery (don't plan to) and know that I am a transgender woman. I wish you success in your journey.

Hello and welcome 

Here is a video that might help:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-hKibc6qGI

and here are a few resources:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,188309.msg1674885.html#msg1674885


and you might see a good gender therapist...
the gender therapist to help you along, maybe with easy reversible steps first, to help you find out how they make you feel...
so that you have someone to guide you and help you along, and no rash but appropriate steps are made.... appropriate also in your favour, so that it moves along...
you might ask at plannedparenthood of a lgbt place for counseling...
or look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316


many *hugs*

Welcome, Mitternacht. I understand what you mean by wanting to be a feminine man. I identify somewhere between genderqueer and completely FTM. And although I consider myself pansexual, I probably lean towards being attracted to men. It can be challenging to feel confident in your identity when you fall outside what society considers "typical." But as everyone has said, transgender people are just as diverse when it comes to gender expression and sexuality as cisgender people are.

I relate to the uncertainty regarding transitioning too. Continue to experiment with non-permanent changes and see how they make you feel. Regardless of whether you feel those are enough, or you would like to go further, always remember that nothing  determines your identity but yourself.