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Appearance advice

Started by Mitternacht, December 17, 2015, 01:01:14 AM

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Mitternacht

Okay so I know there is a thread about this somewhere so I apologize. I couldn't find it. I really need some advice on how to change my appearance to look more masculine, haircuts etc. right now
I'm pre-everything and my face is just so darn feminine. I want to look masculine with a bit of femininity but mostly masculine. Here's a few
Pictures, please help if you can. Going clothes shopping this weekend. Hopefully I can pick up some things to help. Blargh. So frustrated with my face right now >.<


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Cindy

Please take my comments as coming from an older woman and not use to young men's fashion.

Your haircut is quite feminine but when you get the hair away from your ears it looks a lot more masculine. There is also a 'look' common to all transgender people. As an AFAB you have developed a way of holding your head which is quite feminine, it (the look) looks a lot more masculine in the final pic - a more aggressive look.

You have good features and yes they are feminine but not overtly so, you look like a handsome man in pic #3. Nothing wrong in being handsome!

Certainly T and stubble it produces will take the feminine edge off.

As for style, I suggest looking at pics of male models to develop your style. I say that as if you were AMAB you would certainly be a candidate for a male model. Good looks, chiselled, with good androgyny.

Not sure how many guys go for the softer hair colours, it looks great, but more aggressive colours may be more masculinising. Maybe think about modifying the fringe, it softens your face, you seem to have a high forehead which many guys have (as do women) but women tend to hide it, guys seem to empathise it.

As for clothes, you look a jeans and T-shirt guy. Casual but sharp would be my call.

But I have to say I'm 60 so my opinion on how young men look is probably so old fashioned.

I will say that from the young FtM guys I know you fit straight in and when T works its magic on you I think you will look a pretty awesome guy. Not sure if you are into building muscle, but a guy like you with muscles is going to just look awesome and a room stopper.

I don't know if you are into women but if you are be ready to beat them off with sticks :laugh:

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Mitternacht


Quote from: Cindy on December 17, 2015, 01:26:44 AM
Please take my comments as coming from an older woman and not use to young men's fashion.

Your haircut is quite feminine but when you get the hair away from your ears it looks a lot more masculine. There is also a 'look' common to all transgender people. As an AFAB you have developed a way of holding your head which is quite feminine, it (the look) looks a lot more masculine in the final pic - a more aggressive look.

You have good features and yes they are feminine but not overtly so, you look like a handsome man in pic #3. Nothing wrong in being handsome!

Certainly T and stubble it produces will take the feminine edge off.

As for style, I suggest looking at pics of male models to develop your style. I say that as if you were AMAB you would certainly be a candidate for a male model. Good looks, chiselled, with good androgyny.

Not sure how many guys go for the softer hair colours, it looks great, but more aggressive colours may be more masculinising. Maybe think about modifying the fringe, it softens your face, you seem to have a high forehead which many guys have (as do women) but women tend to hide it, guys seem to empathise it.

As for clothes, you look a jeans and T-shirt guy. Casual but sharp would be my call.

But I have to say I'm 60 so my opinion on how young men look is probably so old fashioned.

I will say that from the young FtM guys I know you fit straight in and when T works its magic on you I think you will look a pretty awesome guy. Not sure if you are into building muscle, but a guy like you with muscles is going to just look awesome and a room stopper.

I don't know if you are into women but if you are be ready to beat them off with sticks :laugh:

Hah this is going to sound a bit ridiculous but you've made me very happy. Thank you -__- I really needed the positive feedback. I've been feeling like my face is a lost cause right now but thank you for the encouragement.

Hugs


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LordKAT

Your face is definitely not a lost cause. I have to agree with Cindy completely, but then I'm closer to her age than yours.
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dentistsandthedark

Guys don't usually wear nose rings or studs...

(I'm not saying take it out, just making an observation)
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Elis

You look handsome, I'd kill for your cheekbones :). In regards to looking even more male than you do already I find that an undercut hairstyle works really well eg. shaved sides and long on top so you can create a quiff. It balances the face to look square. Just make sure the sideburns are square.
When it comes the clothes I think baseball style shirts work really well, something like this. https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=baseball+shirts&client=ms-android-orange-gb&source=android-browser&prmd=sivn&source=lnms&tbm=shop&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj29JDul-DJAhXG1BoKHaqyBX0Q_AUIBygB#spd=16171059265278043127&spud=0. The contrasting colour makes your shoulders look broader plus if you rolled up the sleeves you look you'd have some muscle. I also really like boxer briefs as they do a great job of keeping your packer in place but also look really masculine; but can also look quite fem as you can usually get them in many different designs and colours.
As for tshirt just make sure they're quite tight and not too bright.

They/them pronouns preferred.



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Moomin

Hi! I think your face has attractive feminine and masculine qualities. You'll notice that in picture 1 you look a lot more feminine than picture 3. As the others have said, attitude, demeanor and body language play a huge role in how we are perceived. I'm not massively up on guy hair styles, but I think faux-hawks look really good. If you keep your awesome hair colour with it, I think you would have a more masculine look, but with a nice fem edge :)
If you are considering T, I think you will have really positive results :) Good luck clothes shopping this weekend X
Don't let anyone ever dull your sparkle!
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cheryl reeves

I'm mtf, and always looked butch in a regular haircut, my dad tried too make me look like a boy. When I grew my hair long I looked fem, so to create balance I dry shaved for 6 yrs til the facial hair came in and grew a mustache, my mustache defined my male side, and still does for when I shave people take double takes. Jeans and oversized t shirt would help,and ditch the hair coloring. I don't wear tight fitting shirts period for I grew breasts during puberty and tight t shirt show to much. I hope this helps.
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Sebby Michelango

Quote from: Mitternacht on December 17, 2015, 01:01:14 AM
Okay so I know there is a thread about this somewhere so I apologize. I couldn't find it. I really need some advice on how to change my appearance to look more masculine, haircuts etc. right now
I'm pre-everything and my face is just so darn feminine. I want to look masculine with a bit of femininity but mostly masculine. Here's a few
Pictures, please help if you can. Going clothes shopping this weekend. Hopefully I can pick up some things to help. Blargh. So frustrated with my face right now >.<


Your face is a bit feminine, but it's not the main thing. The biggest thing is your hairstyle and makeup.
Your hair color being seen as feminine by many in our A4-society. So I wouldn't recommend you to color your hair that way. If you color your hair in natural color, it's not a big deal. But blue, pink, green and other non-natural hair color is feminine. Your haircut is very girly as well. My best advice is; cut it. Cut it short. It may sound boring, but you would pass better as more masculine in the society with short hair. I doesn't mean you should buzz it. But I think a regular short haircut most guys have. Next thing that make you appear more feminine is your makeup. I know some guys uses makeup too. But since you're more feminine in your face, makeup would make you even more feminine. So if you choose to not use makeup, it would help you a lot.

If you're a person who want to transistion in the medical ways with hormones, surgeries etc, it would help you even more. Testosterone do much stuff with you, so you would look even more masculine.

My advices:
* Natural hair color - not non-natural hair dye
* Shorter and more boyish/guy haircut
* No makeup
* Transistion, maybe... - Testosterone etc.
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CursedFireDean

So I notice a lot of people mentioning hair color and since I have dyed my hair unnatural colors a lot, I figured I would chime in.

I go to an art school and it is perfectly normal to see both guys and girls with unnatural colors in their hair. I actually knew many more men than women with colored hair. At the time I dyed my hair, I was 2-6 months on T I believe.

I've always been pretty masculine, and pre-T I had no issue passing. I was about 75% at the time. As I started T, my passing inched up to probably 80%.

Then I dyed my hair, a red that was slightly darker than bright bright red. At the time, I didn't see hair dye as a gendered thing at ALL, it never contributed to gendering any person I saw. But pretty much overnight my passing dropped to 0%. Never.  Not once would strangers get it right. Anyone who knew me as a guy didn't understand how anyone could see me as male but every single stranger did. I posted on several websites and all with the same conclusion- the only thing we can think of is your hair color.
Honestly it really hurt my feelings, and I refused to believe it for a while. But the longer I didn't pass, the more my self esteem took a hit. I eventually cut all the red out of my hair because it wasn't washing out no matter how hard I tried and it was just like the symbol of how sucky my life was at the time.

Once I cut the color out, my passing spiked back up to 80%
Now I've been on T for 15 months, and my passing is at like 99% and I'm finally considering dying my hair again.

Pretty much what I'm saying is it might seem ridiculous that color would have anything to do with passing, and I didn't believe it myself, but it doesn't change the fact that that seems to be what stopped my passing. If you want to keep the color, I'd say maybe try something dark and closer to a natural color, like a dark blue or a red closer to natural than firetruck as opposed to teals, pinks/purples, or other bright colors.

Also, I agree with what Cindy said, that getting the hair away from your ears helped. Guys generally have the hair in front of their ears cut squarely and short, while women tend to have it longer and in a more triangular shape. Out of your 3 pictures, the third I think looks most masculine- it's the hair as well as your expression.





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Mitternacht

Thanks for the advice on the hair colour ^ I'll think about it. I think my main issue is that I want to look like a feminine guy( longer hair etc) but I think I may just cut it shorter and then wait until I'm on T to start growing it out again.. I dunno. It's a weird thing I know but I just want to meet the picture in my mind.


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Wild Flower

I actually like your look. Its very rave and scifi.


I say get an undercut, keep it long on top, and go with a nose hoop instead of an Xtina stud. My opinion.
"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets."
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Kylo

There's probably a more masculine style you can get with your hair - perhaps more emo? Not sure if that's the correct term for the cut, but oddly enough when I see it on men it looks masculine enough, with a hint of feminine.

Having both sides of your hair even or symmetrical as in the first pic seems to be a more feminine trait in hairstyles, men tend to have parts on one side if they have similar hairstyle to you there, with the hair moving to one side rather than evenly distributed on both sides. Colorful hair like that I see more on women than men but I suppose no reason you can't have it.

"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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Peep

You can get away with the hair colour + piercings because that kind of 'alternative' style is not exclusive to females...

I would second the haircut thing - when boys have fringes/bangs, the ratio to hair length to fringe length is closer, in that the longer sides and back of the hair are only a little longer, and the overall cut is rarely as much as shoulder length... when guys i knew grew their hair out longer than that they also grew out their fringes.

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lionheart

Quote from: dentistsandthedark on December 17, 2015, 06:17:50 AM
Guys don't usually wear nose rings or studs...

(I'm not saying take it out, just making an observation)
I wouldn't say that, but I do think as far as guys with nose piercings go rings are a lot more common than studs.
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vanderpn

Quote from: Wild Flower on December 17, 2015, 11:47:40 PM
I say get an undercut, keep it long on top, and go with a nose hoop instead of an Xtina stud. My opinion.

I would second the undercut suggestion. My brother, who is also a pre-everything FTM and always has his hair dyed bright colors, recently got his hair cut like this and is really happy with it.

Like others have said, I think it helps to have it shorter around the ears, even if you want to keep it longer up top. Without the hair cupping around the sides of your face it will also help it look more masculine.

As far as makeup and your face shape, you could look into contouring to emphasize angles.
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Vinyl Scratch

I would say lose the hair colour and maybe get a more ''masculine'' hairstyle , but thats about it  :)
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FtMitch

You have to accept that sometimes feminine cis guys who are very thin and alternative get misgendered, too, especially if they are short.  If they are extemely masculine in their appearance then they often get accused of being gay, simply for having unnatural hair color/long hair/piercings.  Those things are considered fem, so you just have to pick what is more important to you: expressing yourself as a fem guy or passing.  If passing is more important then wait until you are on T to dye your hair blue and have long locks.  (Though understand that if you are short and small boned anf you have long blue hair then nothing short of having a beard will probably keep you from being misgendered occasionally, and even then you may be misgendered from the back--I have seen it happen to cis guys).  If you aren't too worried about passing then just do what makes you happiest!

In my opinion your biggest problem beyond the hair is definitely the way you seem to hold yourself along with your soft jawline.  In general I find that FTMs tend to pass better in pictures than in reality before T, so my guess is that you'll have trouble passing (as do I) in three dimensions due to your effeminate features (I have them, too!).  The thing the helps me the most is how I hold myself.  Even if I don't pass, no one EVER questions my masculine name or wonders why I want to be called "he"--and I rarely get m'amed or sirred because despite my feminine features they just aren't sure because I don't hold myself like a woman at all.  Those things are mostly habits, and I was able to adjust my behavior fairly quickly.  I no longer cross my legs or tilt my head down or speak higher or hold my arms close to my body or any of the things considered more womanly, and it has really upped my passing.  Now that's not to say I pass at all--sadly I am too old to pass as a teenage boy, and too pretty in the face but slim in the body to pass as a grown man--but I at least fall into the "what the heck?" Category for most people, which is better than getting gendered as female all the time!  :)
(Started T November 4, 2015)
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j.d79

Hair would definitely be a start. Look through photos of mens hairdos online,make sure they match your face though. Don't want to go for a short cut with for a round face etc
I got my hair cut short (was originally poytailed constantly) and what a difference it made,to the way it made me feel/view myself,to the way other people viewed me,it was liberating. As for studs,piercings etc that's your choice,men wear them too. I think I've had the added bonus of NEVER looking girly,but I'd suggest your hair getting cut short will make you view yourself differently. I could be wrong but it's only hair right,it you don't like it,itll grow back [emoji4]
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Bimmer Guy

Cindy is spot on with everything. Every. Single. Thing.  Spot on.

As the others said, if being misgendered in public is bothersome to you, lose the hair color. It doesn't matter what is trending with kids when it comes to anyone besides those kids. Hair color= girl to the general public (unless all the other social/physical cues are spot as male).
Top Surgery: 10/10/13 (Garramone)
Testosterone: 9/9/14
Hysto: 10/1/15
Stage 1 Meta: 3/2/16 (including UL, Vaginectomy, Scrotoplasty), (Crane, CA)
Stage 2 Meta: 11/11/16 Testicular implants, phallus and scrotum repositioning, v-nectomy revision.  Additional: Lipo on sides of chest. (Crane, TX)
Fistula Repair 12/21/17 (UPenn Hospital,unsuccessful)
Fistula Repair 6/7/18 (Nikolavsky, successful)
Revision: 1/11/19 Replacement of eroded testicle,  mons resection, cosmetic work on scrotum (Crane, TX)



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