ok, so i have been on here for awhile now. i have decided that i want to transition and have slowly been dressing ever more feminine at work. nobody says anything ( coworkers anyway as we are suppose to respect everyone no matter what). if customers want something, they usually call me ma'am or miss and of course i am not offended, those of us that are mtf enjoy that. most of the customers even here how deep my voice is and still assume i am female and lately i have seen and heard why. one day i was at my sister's work and a decent looking black girl had come in and she asked her for her change. and i was like damn it's no wonder people think that i am a girl without even having to do anything. i don't wear makeup at all, none whatsoever. for some reason it doesn't seem like i have to, so i haven't really learned to do it yet. one day i had wrote up a lady for service and heard how deep my voice was and still turned around and said ma'am etc. etc. and i was like ok that's different for a change.
but the real issue is our families. i'm really tired of hiding from everyone, i mean her sister kinda knows and understands and i think her fiancee has kind of some notion and neither have shunned me and they both love our kids. my dad only cares that we are happy and i suspect he knows. but i can't really tell my mother she's deaf and pretty much blind, and has always mistreated me or found some way to embarass me. when i was little she always told me the reason i wasn't born a girl, is because my father's mother got down on her knees and prayed to god that her son would give her a grandson, my mother always has hated that fact and then it got worse when i became two and my mother got the little girl she had really been wanting. my grandma would take me back into her and spoil me with all kinds of toys, and if you haven't got the picture by now, my mom and her mom-in-law never got along. my grandma died when i was about 7. she'd probably disown me now if she was alive. now i have no living grandparents and my wife's family has become my own. this year i have had to disown both a mother and two sisters because they see my children as problems. oh i was hot. as far as i am concerned, ANY person, who sees children as a problem shouldn't have them. i love my wife's sister very much, so i have pretty much adopted her as my own and i consider her fiancee the brother i never had. i still respectfully call her dad by his name cause it's just wierd calling him anything else. then there's her grandma and grandpa, grandma is old fashioned and wants to disown anybody in her family who isn't normal, they are somewhat racist too, but since their favorite granddaughter(not my wife) is dating a worthless black man kinda gives me some hope, but not much especially some of the comments he makes. they wish she hadn't made a baby with him, but we all know how that story goes. her dad has always suspected i was at least a crossdresser and always tried to break us up, but that changed when he realized i wasn't going anywhere and i would do whatever it takes to keep her beside me 4ever. the rest of her family i am not so sure about, i don't see them most of the year. both of her father's parents are now dead, so i don't have to explain anything to them. but i am really tired of hiding who i really am around everyone in her family, but i do it out of respect for her and i am really trying to take this whole thing slow so i won't be doing it alone, cause my world would just not be the same without her. she doesn't even like me to wear my hair pulled back in a ponytail around them, cause she is afraid somebody will assume something. i admit, my hair grows uneven, no one has been able to cut it right either, so no matter what i do to it, it still looks girly. just thought i would blather on because i really don't have any girl friends to talk to close by.
