Hi to All My Susan's Friends (met and still to meet):

Well, I woke this morning in one of those moods, places, frames, etc.  What ever you call it, thankfully it doesn't occur very often.  I feel moody, depressed and generally just poopy and wish this whole trans thang would just go away, gone, swish.  I also have to see clients today and would rather smash my thumb with a big old hammer . . . at least that would create totally authentic feelings! 

I guessing it's maybe related to hormones; I'm due for another load of pellets.  I'll tend to that after Xmas.

I just wanted to share that after my morning read of the Trans Forum I just cratered.  No posting, no interesting posts, no sense of sisterhood - just down, down, down.  Ugh, what mummer I am today.   

As I have learned so many times this will pass, but it's nice to just drop by here and say, "Hi," and have someone who gets it be there . . . Thank you all.

Take care,

Rachel

Hi Rachel,

Have an awesome day. Tomorrow is going to much better.

Speak to you as soon as I saddle the horses.

Huggs
Catherine

Rachel, no fun to be bummed this time of year , hope day gets better. have a happy !

Hi Rachel

Hope you feel better!

Here is a hug for you and love

Rachel,
You are a lovely woman and a friend to many.

Sorry you are feeling down, just lean on us for awhile.

Love

Cindy

Rachel, I pray that your will be better.
Think of some positive things happening.

Hi Rachel,


I can empathize with what you said about wanting to experience an authentic feeling. For the last couple days I fell into one of my nihilistic periods, and after reading a post by a transgender woman planning suicide, I felt I shouldn't write anything here, until I was sure I wouldn't post anything detrimental. I've come out of it now though, because even though everything we do is relative, selfish, and meaningless, the delusion of love is essential to my existence, and is as much a part of me as my arms and legs, so in a way, love exists.   

Thank you for helping so many. You responded to my first post on this forum, and were one of first people to acknowledge me as transgender. I will never forget that. I wish I could reach through my screen and give you a hug, in order to express my feelings of appreciation and camaraderie. 

Yep, been there done that. Hugs your way Rachel!!

Autumn, you reminded me of a line from a beautiful song called the Wedding Song by Paul Stookey:
"Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh, there's love
Oh there is love"

Sometimes it does seem like love is as hard to catch as a rainbow, but I do believe there is love in this world, don't ever give up on love. And the best way to catch it is to give it to others first.

Love,
Denali

Hi and Thank You:

Well, my clients were absolutely charming today, and both thumbs are still in good repair.

I appreciate everyone's post; they brought a smile or a nod that I reveled in them like a nice freshly aired throw wrapped around me.  I'm sure this malaise is hormone related, as I'm now a month+ past due for an endo visit to get a new dose of pellets.  This isn't the first time this has happened, but it's the first time I've shared like this.  Of course, if I had done my endo routine last month as I am supposed to do this wouldn't have happened.  But then neither would your outpouring . . . selfish I know but that doesn't diminish your kindness or my appreciation for it!

Thank you each and everyone for the kind words of support and nurturing.  You are each  quite special!

Love to you all,

Rachel

Rachel, we are you here for you. I hope your feeling better soon. Hugs
Mariah