I changed my name publicly several months ago but I went through a handful of names before landing on Quest. Come to think of it, I'm not really sure where I picked the name up from, but it seemed really fitting for where I was/am in my life. I felt like it more accurately represented what my life felt like to me: a long, difficult and rewarding journey. My partner started to use it privately with me so I could get used to being called a new name and I started to feel confident that it fit me well. After some time I started mentioning it to coworkers who I felt closer with, allowing them to call me either Quest or my old name. Once a select few people started to use it, I changed my name badge to my new name without mentioning it to the rest of my coworkers; my job allows us to make our own name tags as needed so it wasn't hard to do. Not a lot of people noticed the name badge, but customers started to call me Quest (or rather ask me if that's my real name). After a lot of psyching myself up, I made the decision to announce my name change publicly to my coworkers during a store meeting. I said something to the effect of "I've decided to change my name to Quest because it is more consistent with my gender identity. Many of you I've worked with for years so I don't expect it to be an easy change for you; I know you'll call me by my old name, I still do it myself. But I do expect you to get it eventually. If you have any questions about it, feel free to ask me privately." I've gotten a lot of support, some comforting and genuine, some superficial and forced. I had someone refuse to use my new name out of "confusion" (they claimed they didn't know what to call me because I was unclear and they thought it was temporary) and I still get people who start to use my old name and quickly correct themselves with a nervous laugh. Overall changing my name publicly has helped me to feel more control over my life and it taught me a bit about how to stand up for myself. One of my 5 siblings calls me by my new name and my mom switches back and forth with a tendency to use my old name more but the rest of my family...I'm not even sure they've heard anything about me changing my name. I don't bother pushing it with family because I expect it to be harder than coworkers and I don't live at home so it's easy not to be bothered because we don't talk.
If you feel like you want to change your name, have some people you trust start using it privately before you ask everyone to do it. I was worried I'd picked the wrong name but it's still working for me. I have yet to change my name legally mostly because I haven't picked a last/middle name (or at least not one that's stuck as well as my first). You don't have to do it all in one day and it's ok to change your mind.
