So my Christmas has been full of nerves. I feel like I can't leave my mom alone with my grandma because I feel like she's talking about me behind my back. Ever since I told her about my being transgender, she's been harder on me and occasionally nasty to me, despite claiming she'd be fine with it. She also said that this was my secret to tell, but I feel like she's bringing it up to my family members. I know she isn't but I keep feeling worried. The one member I'm particularly afraid of finding out (and everyone has someone like this) is my aunt who constantly tries to get a rise out of people. I'm feeling like having Christmas with my family was a mistake and nothing's even happened yet...

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Paranoia is a nasty thing, it really makes it hard for us to trust people, even those close to us. Unfortunately, I can guarantee you that if your mother wants to tell your grandmother she'll find a way and do it. Taking things from her viewpoint she may need to actually talk about what is going on with you with someone to sort everything out for herself. It's not her right to out you though so it would be unfortunate and unfair if she did. You say though that she has said it is your secret to tell so you can only hold her to her word on that. Hopefully she doesn't break it.

She goes to multiple support groups for divorcees (sp?) and I've suggested that she bring it up there because all of those women are supportive and rarely judgemental. I've also suggested she visit this forum and the Accepting Dad website if she wanted any questions answered she didn't want to ask me.
She's still in denial about this and describes what's going on with me as "my diagnosis". She also wants to see a note confirming I have GD from my therapist. I've told her that it would go against the confidentiality agreement. The sad part is that she's a nurse and should already know that!

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Quote from: Morgan-Kate on December 25, 2015, 05:27:45 PM
She goes to multiple support groups for divorcees (sp?) and I've suggested that she bring it up there because all of those women are supportive and rarely judgemental. I've also suggested she visit this forum and the Accepting Dad website if she wanted any questions answered she didn't want to ask me.
She's still in denial about this and describes what's going on with me as "my diagnosis". She also wants to see a note confirming I have GD from my therapist. I've told her that it would go against the confidentiality agreement. The sad part is that she's a nurse and should already know that!

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Could you take her along to a meeting with your therapist ?

You might print her some excerpts from the accepting dads website...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788


hugs

I've considered but my therapist doesn't like to have other people in the room. She prefers one on one therapy.

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Quote from: Morgan-Kate on December 25, 2015, 06:16:14 PM
I've considered but my therapist doesn't like to have other people in the room. She prefers one on one therapy.

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Well it would be only for a few minutes... to explain to your mom what it is and that you have it...

I'll see if I can talk to my therapist about it. My mom wants to talk to me about "this" later so hopefully it goes well...

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Quote from: Morgan-Kate on December 25, 2015, 08:56:46 PM
I'll see if I can talk to my therapist about it. My mom wants to talk to me about "this" later so hopefully it goes well...

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Wish you good luck 

And as said... its up to you but maybe showing parts of the accepting dads letter could help...


*hugs*

Morgan-Kate I know I personally didn't understand ->-bleeped-<- until I started to become self-aware and allow long-suppressed feelings to be explored in my life. So your Mom is ignorant (not saying that as an insult just as a matter of fact.) If she is willing to learn, this can be incredibly helpful to her in (partially) understanding where you are coming from and accept you. I found the Accepting Dad site Laura cited to be incredibly helpful. For example:

Quote
I write this out of the love for my son, and my love now for all sons, all daughters born as sons, all gender-nonconforming youth who have lost their families for being who they had no choice but to be. I write to say, (as almost all writing exists to say) that human change is not only possible, but inevitable. Just hold your love for your child in your heart as you ask the age old questions—

What is a boy? A girl? A man? A woman? What does it mean to be human? To be different?

And listen to your child's answers.
http://www.acceptingdad.com/about-accepting-dad/

I don't think anyone with a heart could read all of our stories (often filled with pain) here on Susan's place and continue to cling on to a judgmental spirit in lieu of accepting and loving without condition a trans family member. 

Love,
Denali

Quote from: Laura_7 on December 25, 2015, 06:11:21 PM
Could you take her along to a meeting with your therapist ?

You might print her some excerpts from the accepting dads website...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788


hugs