Quote from: Ashey on December 27, 2015, 03:24:09 PM
...and it was really weird.
Earlier last week I had arrived at a bus station and was waiting for my friend to get me. So as I stood outside the station, this guy was sitting next to me and just looks me up and down and asks something like 'Do you find it hard being trans?' ... I was just stunned, because that's the first time anyone's even noticed I was trans without my pointing it out. In fact, there have been times I've come out to people and they thought I wanted to become a guy... So for this guy to just instantly clock me like that, and then have the audacity to just say that right off like he was absolutely certain, just had me floored. He was nice enough, says he supports trans people, and didn't want to offend. Said it was my chest that gave me away? Like it wasn't quite proportional to the rest of me? Ugh... seemed way too flimsy an excuse to call me out like he did. And then he asked if I was going to have 'the surgery'.. I'm like 'Welll my genitals aren't any of your business. It's not like I'd come up to you and ask you how big your dick was..' and he said I was right and apologized, saying 'Well now I know that's offensive to trans people'. 
Then he asked a bunch more questions over the next 10 minutes.. I tried being educational, even though he was a bit annoying, and kept apologizing for it. It also made me uncomfortable that he was going on about this stuff with people walking by, and not even trying to keep it down. And then there were times where I was veering away from his line of questioning because it felt like he was still trying to figure out what was going on in my pants.. Some people can be so inconsiderate, and just goes to show how freakin' alien we can be to cis folks. But yeah, the whole situation really bothered me. :/
And rightfully so. Wow, what a piece of some word I can't type out, but WOW. Rude beyond words -- DISGUSTING. Does he find it difficult coping with his obvious over-infatuation with attractive trans women?? Like, what the bleep, dude.
Anyway, I have some words that may help you a bit. First of all, I think that passing trans women (like yourself) even have certain features about them that might be specific to the trans-woman community, but that aren't necessarily even masculine. Sort of like an ethnicity or a culture, i suppose. For example, I am tall (5 ft. 9 or 10), and am very lithe (35-27-38), and this is common among trans women who have not had surgeries to augment their curvatures. Is this masculine, however? No, not at all, but that didn't stop some obnoxious people several months ago from inquiring whether I'm secretly a man (pretty much to my face). It seems counterintuitive on their part given that cis women would die to have my build, but it stems from people being intrusive and needing someone to talk about, as was the case with this waste who pried at your way of life incessantly.
Moreover, it seems like so many of us have defined (not sharp, but defined) faces, like what is seen in high fashion, and so, I can almost promise that someone who is obnoxious enough could ask me as well if I'm trans simply because I'm slender and have a defined face. In fact, I've gotten looks before that remind me that I look kind of different for a woman, such as from little kids, etc.
But, I'm undeniably gorgeous, and no one can even call me "he" (even whenever they want to); this is what I've learned to embrace. It speaks to how feminine I am despite bearing features stereotypical to a passing trans woman. Sounds like I have the edge, in fact, since men always have their eyes on me, as opposed to mainstream women (who notoriously give me death-glares haha).
Also -- and this is quite pertinent -- how far have you developed your voice into the feminine range? When I worked among a bunch of obnoxious blue collar people (something I'm far removed from) several months ago, I passed as female, but I hadn't developed my voice. Occasionally, I'd get bullied or targeted by intrusive people, and there was NOTHING I could do to defend myself through use of words. I just had to stand there and take it. Yet, now, I have developed my voice so that it's higher than that of the average cis woman (and on command), and as such, I can totally just shut some rude person down without a problem. Like, that one time I was ordering food from a restaurant, and the cashier -- who I used to date -- called me "he" to be rude, and I verbally annihilated her, prompting people to laugh at her.
I guess it's just one of many avenues through which I've learned to embrace my appearance.
Lastly, I'm regarded as being pretty attractive for being trans (or even for being cis), and I have even experienced some of the rudest nonsense conceivable. One time, I was on a dating site, and normally I'd only date men located in my big city because I've dealt with enough country folk to scream. However, there was this small-town guy who found me on there, and he was struck beyond words by my beauty, not knowing that I'm trans (no one did, in fact). He begged me to come down to where he lives over and over so that he could say he scored a 10 (sadly), and he just wouldn't leave me alone.
Finally, knowing that I once worked at the factory he was then working at, I told him about this. He asked what my job was, and I told him -- shedding light on nothing else about myself. Because he's insecure, he just blatantly asked me, "Are you secretly a man?" I laughed it off and told him that that woman he must be referring to from the factory wasn't me. So, he kept hitting on me, and I got screenshots of it because I knew who he was. Finally, I told him that that was me several months ago, and he blocked me in every way possible, pretty much with his tail between his legs.
So, yeah, people like that probably just have an unhealthy infatuation with trans women. You can always message me, and I'll be here to listen.
Sincerely,
Ally
