sorry in advance for the bit of a rant here, just feeling very frustrated.

so i got talking to my therapist and starting thinking about transitioning more, but the catch is i have endometriosis so I got put on birth control as she doesn't want me to commit yet to a hysterectomy even though I know I am ready and have wanted one for awhile. So now, not only am I feeling sick to my stomach and puking every morning because of these crazy estrogen pills, but i'm also ridiculously emotional and super dysphoric knowing I have all these issues that are very female gender specific. I've been getting anxiety attacks and feeling sick most of the time because I just feel like I am just in this body i can't stand and I'm really not having an easy time with it. (doesn't help that I can't get off to anything either due to being so insecure about my body)
Generally I have fairly low estrogen levels and so I'm a pretty androgynous person but now I feel like i'm losing my mind.  I don't feel like my mind is functioning as it usually does and I just feel sluggish and gross. Any of you gents had to be on birth control while transitioning/got any advice?
I hope within the next year or so I'll be able to get off it and go on T but for now... it's very aggravating.
Feel like I can't even get mildly comfortable in my own skin, and like i'll never be able to have the body I feel like i should and would love to have just because of all these stupid health issues and stuff.
Doesn't help that I got dumped by my so right before the holidays because he decided he no longer wanted to be monogamous in any form. Part of me thinks it's because I've been very depressed and uncomfortable of late but I think he just doesn't want to tell me that..

anyways, sorry for the vent.
any advice or suggestions?

Ask for progesterone only pills. No effects of estrogen which you will have to come off of anyway if you intend to transition, and they can reduce periods and pain to almost nothing depending on what the dosage is that you want to take. I take them while I wait for T and I have no estrogen based side effects, and no periods at all.

Just wanted to say I can relate to what you´re feeling, not in the same exact situation but a similar one. The being bombarded with female-ness all  the time, feeling sick and lack of energy & stamina..

And since I feel the same way just wanted to react and say hope you´ll feel better soon. You can get through it

Also the progesterone only pills seem like good advice and something I might want to discuss with my doc also. Helpful!