I'm a 50 year old MTF, married with one child.  I've struggled with wanting to be female for close to 40 years.  My wife has been for the most part supportive, however, she is tired of me wanting to be female and then purging. Tomorrow I meet with my general practitioner, whom my wife has prepped for my new topic.  He already agreed to to the baseline hormone blood work. This morning she asked if I knew what I was going to say to him.  Later in January I have an appointment with a gender specialist.  Sadly as I start this, even though my wife is here to be supportive, and will always be my friend, has made it known that once I become female, we can no longer be married.

Hi Deanna 

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V M

Thanks!  I have been viewing this site for over 2 years as a guest.  It is very informative and helpful. I thought it was time to participate.

Deanna,

I'm 51 with three teenage girls. The other big difference is that I either didn't realize or fooled myself for decades till this past year. Yes, I have had traits and behaviors that have reared up since preadolescence. However, it never hit home till then.

I spoke to my wife last March and while very supportive, she felt similar to what your spouse stated. I have not started hormones yet(about a month away). However, after a few weeks and a lot of communication, she has shifted. I am not saying that happens to all. I have been lucky so far. Perhaps your situation will shift a little over time.

Welcome. I wish you acceptance, love and a smooth journey wherever and however fall it takes you.

With warmth,

Joanna

Thanks!  Sounds like you have a great spouse. I'm glad we are still together so far! She wishes that I was up front with before we got married 20 years ago. About 2 yeas ago she got me to start a journal. At first I thought that was silly. That increased our communication. She also surprised me with getting my own clothes, starting laser treatments and researched srs doctors. She hopes I pick Dr. Bowers.  Last fall we almost divorced, but she stayed and unfortunately I purged. Good bad or indifferent all of her family and my parents at least know that I crossdress. She has been awesome and helping me learn to be true to myself and helped picked my femm name. So far she is supportive for me to start hrt. So, yes one day at a time.

So do your daughters know? If so how did they respond?  Mine is 14 and kind of knows but is not accepting.

Thanks again

D

My oldest(17) knows and is very accepting. The other two I am holding off for a little. Don't want them to have to feel careful around me. The world we live in, at least in US North East, is different for our kids.

My kids have friends who are gay, questioning gender and sexual preference and one fully out transgender young man. I also find girls more accepting...

Good luck, contact me more if you need to.

Joanna


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Thanks! My daughter is in a small private school, thus, I'm trying to allow her to graduate without dealing with my issues in public.  Thus, only small changes for a period of time. Just had an appointment with my GP.  He was very supportive and will assist however he can.  Thanks for the support.

D

Hello Deanna and welcome to Susan's. This is a big for you and your spouse. I came out to my wife over a decade ago. It was tough at first but now she accepts me 100%. We've been married 35 years. My son, nieces and granddaughter know and accept me. Don't give up hope that your spouse will leave. Time has a way of changing things.

Thanks!  I'm glad it has gone well with you and your family. I'm thankful for everyday she is still here.  Even though I don't go full time, she has gone through the stages of mourning the loss of her man and she is still here so that is encouraging.  Ultimately, we both wish we dealt with this much sooner. The day she shared with me that she researched SRS surgeons and recommended Dr. Bowers was a big surprise to me. (A long time from now, but a goal  ) Thanks again for the encouragement.

D