It's not an actual programming language. More of a concept. I have only ever done PASCAL and some assembly language. Both a very long time ago.

Jayne, I may seem like one of the confident ones, but I wasn't always. I started two years ago begging for it not to be true, gradually I became unsure if it's true or not, like you, then eventually and not that long ago, I became resigned. Eventually I became joyful that I'm trans because I came to see that accepting myself has made me a happier, more likeable person. The timeframe doesn't matter. Whether it's two months, two years or two decades, the growth and self knowledge this path brings are worth the pain and suffering to me. I absolutely believe you'll get their eventually. And, Jayne, your sadness and the posts it causes, while perhaps painful to the sympathetic, are to us the struggles of a beautiful baby girl being born. I doubt anyone here regrets dealing with them.

Since the web/internet is the defining technology of the early 21st Century, here is my version in PHP

<?php

     $time = 0;     // Number of days into transition
     
     do {
          $misgendering  = mt_rand( 0, 99 ); // Random misgendering factor
          $hormoneLevel  = mt_rand( 0, 99 );
          $depression    = mt_rand( 0, 99 );
          $seeingChanges = ($time - 273 );

          $gd = $seeingChanges +
                $hormoneLevel -
                intval( ($misgendering + $depression)/2);
         

          $yukFactor = abs($gd);
         
          if ( $yukFactor > 150 )
               echo "Argghh ";               
          else
               if ( $yukFactor > 100 )
                    echo "Feel cr*p ";
               else
                    if ( $yukFactor > 50 )
                         echo "Grumble ";
                    else
                         if ( $yukFactor > 25 )
                              echo "Um...";
                         else
                              echo "Coping ... ";
          $time += 7;
          echo "<br/>"; // newline

     } while ( $gd < 0 );

     echo "<br/>Cured! Or happy at least ";
     
     


Which produces

Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Um...
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Um...
Coping ...

Cured! Or happy at least


I know.. I am a bit sad to be doing this sort of stuff on New Year's Eve when I have some SSL Certs to sort out and a party to organise.

You are exactly the type of person this web site was designed for. All of us go through that stage were nothing is working and they need a push from others to get moving. I was no exception but I needed my push in the 1970's and it came in the form of group therapy. It takes time to get over what you are feeling and if you don't stay with us, you will have to face this again at a latter date. My advice to you is stay with us while you get this figured out and some day in the future you will find yourself helping others deal with the same issues.

Quote from: pyhxbp on December 31, 2015, 07:04:28 AM
Since the web/internet is the defining technology of the early 21st Century, here is my version in PHP

<?php

     $time = 0;     // Number of days into transition
     
     do {
          $misgendering  = mt_rand( 0, 99 ); // Random misgendering factor
          $hormoneLevel  = mt_rand( 0, 99 );
          $depression    = mt_rand( 0, 99 );
          $seeingChanges = ($time - 273 );

          $gd = $seeingChanges +
                $hormoneLevel -
                intval( ($misgendering + $depression)/2);
         

          $yukFactor = abs($gd);
         
          if ( $yukFactor > 150 )
               echo "Argghh ";               
          else
               if ( $yukFactor > 100 )
                    echo "Feel cr*p ";
               else
                    if ( $yukFactor > 50 )
                         echo "Grumble ";
                    else
                         if ( $yukFactor > 25 )
                              echo "Um...";
                         else
                              echo "Coping ... ";
          $time += 7;
          echo "<br/>"; // newline

     } while ( $gd < 0 );

     echo "<br/>Cured! Or happy at least ";
     
     


Which produces

Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Um...
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Um...
Coping ...

Cured! Or happy at least


I know.. I am a bit sad to be doing this sort of stuff on New Year's Eve when I have some SSL Certs to sort out and a party to organise.

Lol! Thanks. You made me laugh. I needed that.

Happy new year by the way. It's 2016 here in Sydney!

Quote from: Dena on December 31, 2015, 07:21:13 AM
You are exactly the type of person this web site was designed for. All of us go through that stage were nothing is working and they need a push from others to get moving. I was no exception but I needed my push in the 1970's and it came in the form of group therapy. It takes time to get over what you are feeling and if you don't stay with us, you will have to face this again at a latter date. My advice to you is stay with us while you get this figured out and some day in the future you will find yourself helping others deal with the same issues.

Thanks Dena. Now that I've settled somewhat and thinking a little clearer, I decided not to leave. You have all been way too good to me. I owe it to all of you to stick around and try and work myself out. Thank you all.

There are positive aspects too   Maybe you can identify some of your personality characteristics that are rather uncommon in males but which you like very much.  I have a few myself.  I can't prove it but I'm sure that and trans are connected.  So with all the bad there is good also.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: Amoré on December 31, 2015, 02:35:54 AM
Don't feel like that my posts are always depressing but these people are good hearted people that won't show anyone away no matter what your story is. Look at my threads some of it is the most heart wrenching around. They are so depressing I normally write them in the moments when I am breaking down.

We are here to help you or just be a shoulder to cry on because we are family end whether you don't fit a box does not matter you are you and we love you for just being you! Is that not the reason all of us is here to be ourselves.

hugs and love Amoray

Great post Amoray - encourages me too!

Jayne - Glad you are sticking around! What I really appreciate about this forum is that there is a tremendous effort by our community to be supportive, loving, and understanding - in spite of our own weaknesses. Sometimes we'll seem to be not so loving because we are all far from perfect people, but we'll try to learn from our mistakes and keep on trying to become better people.  There are going to be times when each of us needs to vent, and maybe even keep on venting for quite awhile; please fee free to do so during such times. We're here to listen.

Happy New Year everyone!

Love,
Denali

Quote from: Jayne01 on December 31, 2015, 07:27:50 AM
Lol! Thanks. You made me laugh. I needed that.

Quote from: Jayne01 on December 31, 2015, 07:27:50 AM
Happy new year by the way. It's 2016 here in Sydney!

Another 10 hours until it happens here. Happy New Year

Well, I'm glad this worked itself out! 

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: pyhxbp on December 31, 2015, 07:04:28 AM
Since the web/internet is the defining technology of the early 21st Century, here is my version in PHP

<?php

     $time = 0;     // Number of days into transition
     
     do {
          $misgendering  = mt_rand( 0, 99 ); // Random misgendering factor
          $hormoneLevel  = mt_rand( 0, 99 );
          $depression    = mt_rand( 0, 99 );
          $seeingChanges = ($time - 273 );

          $gd = $seeingChanges +
                $hormoneLevel -
                intval( ($misgendering + $depression)/2);
         

          $yukFactor = abs($gd);
         
          if ( $yukFactor > 150 )
               echo "Argghh ";               
          else
               if ( $yukFactor > 100 )
                    echo "Feel cr*p ";
               else
                    if ( $yukFactor > 50 )
                         echo "Grumble ";
                    else
                         if ( $yukFactor > 25 )
                              echo "Um...";
                         else
                              echo "Coping ... ";
          $time += 7;
          echo "<br/>"; // newline

     } while ( $gd < 0 );

     echo "<br/>Cured! Or happy at least ";
     
     


Which produces

Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Argghh
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Argghh
Grumble
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Feel cr*p
Um...
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Grumble
Um...
Coping ...

Cured! Or happy at least


I know.. I am a bit sad to be doing this sort of stuff on New Year's Eve when I have some SSL Certs to sort out and a party to organise.

Lol, I wish you could "like" comments here sometimes, this made my smile too!

Jayne, I hope you feel better. It doesn't matter how helpful you feel, you help people just by being here. We are a community and in some sence a weird online family.

Quote from: Kova V on December 31, 2015, 10:59:01 AM
We are a community and in some sence a weird online family.

This tune popped into my head reading that.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=X6QzbvH-ZNo&list=RDX6QzbvH-ZNo


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

There are always 3 steps in helping you move forward and never have to stop to worry where you were...

1. Put your Left Foot forward.
2. Put your Right Foot forward.
3. Go back to step 1.

Follow those 3 Steps and you will always move ahead.

Quote from: Deborah on December 31, 2015, 01:41:26 PM
This tune popped into my head reading that.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=X6QzbvH-ZNo&list=RDX6QzbvH-ZNo


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hats off to you for thinking of this.

Jayne, keep ya chin up.  Glad you are staying. We all feel like this sometimes and i know over the last few months i've been one of them, but at the end of the day i come on here and i feel better.
Happy new year
Sophie

Jayne,

Glad to hear you are staying.  Your situation is very much like mine, and like you I get depressed.  It is good to have family to bounce things off of and get support.

I have been visiting my kids and they have a little plaque that says "Remember, people think we are a nice, normal, family."  Fortunately they got that BEFORE they knew i was trans*.

Happy New Year!  (I am still in 2015...)


Erin

Thank you all so much for your support. I feel humbled to be here and be thought of as part of the community. I had no idea that I was helping anybody. I always felt a bit of a leech just sucking information out but not having anything to give back. But now that I think about it I have been helped by others like me just by reading a thread that they started and not necessarily participating in the conversation. I hope some of my threads I have started have helped others.

I feel much better today. Thanks for sticking by me.

J

Moving forward first requires a question.  We are generally tought that we start with a theory and then test it.  That is not correct.  Think about gravity.  The theory was put togather because someone asked "Why did that fall down rather than another direction?"

You are struggling and asking good, but difficult questions.  Just because others found their answers quickly and easily does not mean you will find them over the same time frame.  It also does not mean their answers are your answers. 

I am happy that you are going to stay.  Helping others ask good questions is a wonderful gift, even if it is under appreciated.  THAT, I know you have done.

Hugs

Jen

Thank you Jen.

I'm happy you are staying too

Just your being here and thriving is thanks enough. I'm glad to see your staying. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Jayne01 on January 01, 2016, 12:48:50 AM
Thank you all so much for your support. I feel humbled to be here and be thought of as part of the community. I had no idea that I was helping anybody. I always felt a bit of a leech just sucking information out but not having anything to give back. But now that I think about it I have been helped by others like me just by reading a thread that they started and not necessarily participating in the conversation. I hope some of my threads I have started have helped others.

I feel much better today. Thanks for sticking by me.

J