At this point, I'm thinking I'm most likely not trans. I'm not really uncomfortable with my body, no real dysphoria beyond a few minor annoyances, and the fact that I still identify strongly with male characters in media suggests my identity is still primarily male. When the magic wore off being female in public for the first time and I was on my third trip out in public, I started experiencing a sense of disquiet, like I really was feeling dysphoria for the first time, except in this case I wanted to be male again. In addition, I never really asked myself why I wanted to be female until recently, when I started thinking my reasons might actually be sexual in nature.

Still, there are too many strange things about my past that being trans would have explained very well, and despite trying to move on from this, I still feel like there's something, some voice in my head telling me to reconsider. In addition, cis people generally don't spend two months agonizing about what gender they really are. So clearly something unusual must be going on. Maybe I'm non-binary or I have a strong feminine side that my mind feels it needs some kind of special permission to express.

As such, I would like to start therapy as soon as possible to resolve this identity crisis and bring some sense of myself back. I live in the Phoenix area of Arizona and there seem to be a couple options for therapy there, but I don't know what the best ones are. Personally, I want someone who is well-experienced on both gender identity issues as well as anxiety/depression (problems that have started a lot of emotional crises for me in the past). Additionally, a lot of issues I've had in the past resulted from my long association with Evangelical Christianity; religion can really mess up one's mind a lot. I would also want someone who is willing to explore all options, not a gatekeeper or someone who assumes all people with gender identity issues must be trans. I would also prefer my therapist to be a woman; I don't open up emotionally with men as easily.

I believe a number of people on here are from the Phoenix area; any good options that would fit me?

Dr Mary M Brasch is mine and she is quite lovely. she specializes in trans and like minding people.

Well, great. I was going to set something up, but now my job decided to start laying people off at the end of the year and told me I was no longer needed. So I can't use their insurance anymore and thus I don't have coverage for therapy. So I guess I'll have to wait even longer to resolve this confusion. Not sure what to do in the meantime.

Mary works with us girls based on a sliding scale. her normal price is 100 per session but she has help with pricing with the ones who have a tight budget.

OK, I've sent off an email to her. Looking forward to getting this whole thing resolved one way or another.

I have my first appointment now scheduled for February 1st. Hopefully, I'll be able to start working through these issues and beginning to move on with my life, one way or another.

Thank you for recommending her.