My doubts were maybe of a different flavor than yours as I desperately wanted the transsexual diagnosis to be true.  The reason was because I had no doubt at all about how I felt and any other cause for those feelings was in my mind a whole lot worse. (Like being stark raving mad!!!!)


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Quote from: Tommi on December 29, 2015, 09:44:31 AM
Then I tend to get down on myself, and try to convince myself I can just get "over" being trans, although I've not been able to for 41 years.  So, know you're not alone in this.  It's a horrible cycle to get stuck in.

Same boat as you.  Married for almost 20 years, have one baby, possibly another on the way, in my forties, not sure what I should do.  Wife is trying to be understanding.  There are boundaries (no breast form in bed, skirts make her queasy, etc...) but she is doing the best she can while I try to figure this out.  Can't ask for more than that if I want the marrIage to survive.

Quote from: Jayne01 on December 31, 2015, 08:25:13 PM
Joanne and Wednesday, thank you for your in depth replies. You have both given me a lot to think about.

You're very welcome J.

Sadly I can't offer any definitve answer, but I'll be glad to give you as many questions and thoughts as you need. Besides I really enjoy receiving deep questions and reflecting on them. You look like a very smart and sensitive person, don't hesitate to ask me whatever you want.

And even at the risk of sounding like a meddler myself... I want to say that whether you're trans or not, whether you decide to transition or not... it's really a pity you're letting your fears and isecurities prevent yourself from having friends, meeting new social circles or being more asertive with the people surrounding you. I think the world is missing a truly deep, intelligent, sensitive and wonderful person. Trust me boy, I got one hell of an intuition

Quote from: ElizabethK on December 31, 2015, 08:21:03 PM
I really like Wednesday's comments regarding "Finding acceptance" they ring a real note with me.

Thank you girl! Some days I'm somewhat inspired

Thank you Wednesday. I don't know for what exact reason I don't have friends. I have never been a very social person and it's kind of got to the point where I simply don't know how to have friends. But that is something for another time. Thanks for your nice words.

J

Jayne,

Thank you for your sweet pvt msg.

I honestly had the impression you have a tendency to dwell on things as a strategy to cope for fear of going in any direction. What I meant to say in short was the  "yeah but..." approch can be counter-proctive. Sometimes, you have to grab the bull by its horns and deal with it. That, of course, doesn't necessarily mean you have to transition! Acceptance is a process that has to take place before transitioning. We cannot achieve acceptance through the "yeah but" approach. Plus, sometimes we can achieve acceptance and not transition for some family/ socio-professional.considerations.

I think Ms Grace's experience is a good example of how delaying/ denying can catch up with you sooner or later in life.

Honestly. This is what I meant to say in the first place.I am sorry if I came across as harsh or inconsiderate. That wasn't my intention.

I am glad you bought the book I recommended. It honestly helped me a lot through my dark moments, and I really hope it will do the same for you hun.

Hugs,

Rita
A happy post-op woman

Thanks for your input Rita. Sometimes when I'm feeling really down, I can take things the wrong way.

J