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VENTING: If people stare at you does that automatically mean they clocked u

Started by Angélique LaCava, January 01, 2016, 08:30:58 PM

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Angélique LaCava

Last night I was hanging wit my friend and she told me she keeps catching people staring our direction n she tried to say it was cause I'm transgender but to me if people were staring at me for that 3 guys n 1 girl wouldn't hav hit on me.
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lostcharlie

Your a good looking girl and I assume your friend is also attractive (?). Good looking girls get stared at. Wonder if your friend might be a little uncomfortable with you being transgender ?
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stephaniec

if your avatar is a good representation of how you really look  I don't think you need to worry about anyone clocking you too readily. You look a lot better than me and I rarely get clocked when wearing make up and a dress , I usually get told I'm going in the wrong rest room if I use the men's and that's without make up and jeans. I think if some guy is checking you out completely maybe what you say he notices bigger hands than normal  , but I really think in your case it's just a lot of people no each other where you hang out and word gets around and you do tell people your trans.
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iKate

Not necessarily clocking you but maybe their brain thinks something is off.

Once a woman was looking at me when I was using the restroom sink at Costco. I turned to her, smiled and said hello. She smiled and said hi back. Weird.
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JoanneB

When you are the best dressed, sexiest, or otherwise stand out woman in the field of view, I think there is a good reason reason for others to stare.

Now, if If I wanted to drive myself crazy with all the insecurities I have and hey, let's not forget the self-esteem that is often in the sub-basement, I can easily go negative. I did that back in early 20's during my 'failed' transition experiments. I had enough of that BS
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Ms Grace

Unless your friend is a mind reader I wouldn't put much stock in her theories. And to answer your question... nope.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
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Jill F

I usually take it as "I'd totally do her."

And yes, I don't give a rat's ass if I get clocked.  Happened today by the trans guy sitting next to me.  We both had a grin about it.

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Laurie K

Thanx so much, Jill,

I will start to think that... great stress relief.  For the most part I dont care if I get clocked. But some times I does bother me.

Angelique  you are totally beautiful....  I think the stares are due to that you are eye candy




The ball is now rolling....I hope it doesnt run me 0ver
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almightymouse

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on January 01, 2016, 08:30:58 PM
Last night I was hanging wit my friend and she told me she keeps catching people staring our direction n she tried to say it was cause I'm transgender but to me if people were staring at me for that 3 guys n 1 girl wouldn't hav hit on me.
Omg, sooo much experience in this realm. I get stared at all the freaking time, especially by women. People even do 180-degree turns to look at me. It wasn't until my fearless boyfriend started pulling these people aside and inquiring what that was all about that we realized that it's because I'm simply stunning and unique-looking. So, that was a plus.

Ally
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Sydney_NYC

Quote from: iKate on January 01, 2016, 08:50:22 PM
Not necessarily clocking you but maybe their brain thinks something is off.

Once a woman was looking at me when I was using the restroom sink at Costco. I turned to her, smiled and said hello. She smiled and said hi back. Weird.

This has happened to me. I was in a restroom in a restaurant that is in a nearby mall and a woman was staring at me while washing my hands. I just smiled and and said hi and she seemed to be more at ease when I did this and I walked out. I thought maybe she had clocked me. A few minutes later, my wife and I caught up to her in the mall from behind as she was greeting an acquaintance of hers and I overheard her say: "I just saw the tallest women I've ever met in person, but I know she wasn't a man because she didn't have an Adam's Apple."

So yes sometimes people stare when you are tall, which I had a problem when I started going full time in that I didn't know if I was being starred at for being tall of if it was because I was being clocked. I then noticed that it didn't happen while sitting so I know now I wasn't being clocked. Other things can cause people to stare. Good looks, hair, etc can all cause people to stare and as a woman, you get more noticed in general. Being transgender just isn't on most people's radar.
Sydney





Born - 1970
Came Out To Self/Wife - Sept-21-2013
Started therapy - Oct-15-2013
Laser and Electrolysis - Oct-24-2013
HRT - Dec-12-2013
Full time - Mar-15-2014
Name change  - June-23-2014
GCS - Nov-2-2017 (Dr Rachel Bluebond-Langner)


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Serenation

no it does not automatically mean that. Have you ever stared at an attractive cis person? of course
I will touch a 100 flowers and not pick one.
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KittyKat

I get stares pretty much every where I go. Pretty sure it's my hair though, cause it only happened after I dyed it :angel:
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Serenation

Quote from: KittyKat on January 02, 2016, 02:20:19 AM
I get stares pretty much every where I go. Pretty sure it's my hair though, cause it only happened after I dyed it :angel:

nice work, I did mine pink flamingo back in the late 90's groups of people would follow me. Not sure if they thought I was someone famous or what.
I will touch a 100 flowers and not pick one.
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BlonT

Yes and how she know at who the stare ? And looking at your avatar that low cut does help to attract boy,s views  ::) Maybe the find you just stunning.
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emma-f

I had a guy give me "the stare". I caught his eye and he had a confused look so I put it down to being clocked. 5 min later I'm coming out of a shop. He stops me (I think "oh s*** I'm going to get attacked or something"). He introduces himself, says I was the classiest dressed woman on the street (which was kings road, Chelsea, quite an achievement) and he wanted my number. Wow! I'm sure I get clocked a lot as I'm only part time so only look ok, but that experience at least lets me deny it to myself
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Lynne

As others pointed out women get stared at a lot more in general.
When I started to go out dressed as me I had this insecurity that people must be staring at me because they clocked me or found something wrong with me(as that was the case a lot of times before). To this day very few people clocked me in public, most of it was when I was after facial hair removal sessions.

A few years ago it was hard for me to believe that I could look like a normal human being ever, so it was a little surprising that I seem to attract the attention of guys and on more than a few occasions they expressed their various desires about me as well.
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Dena

This is the difference between men and women. If a guy checks out another guy to closely, he is considered gay so most men don't care or don't do it. Women are always looking at other woman to learn how to improve their appearance. A CIS women expect to be checked out by other women and the more attractive she is, the more she is checked out. In addition women will compare observations with friends. Just because a woman stares at you isn't and indication you have been clocked and often it's a compliment.

Often, women are dressing as much for other women as they are for men because the know they will be viewed by other women and need to pass inspection. This is a reason why two women wearing the same dress is a fashion disaster. A woman is not interested in copying another's fashions but want to better the other's style.
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Eva Marie

Short of questioning the staring individual you'll never know why they were staring.

They might have clocked you, but it is far more likely that they just found you interesting to look at. The possibility of encountering a transgender person is very far removed from most people's thoughts.

What Dena said is true - women stare for different reasons than men do. For men the stare is to gauge desirability. For women the stare is to judge your appearance.

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Mallory

If they aren't laughing then its safe to assume they aren't judging you. I get sideways glances every now and then and I'm not full time. I just keep on struttin'.
Carpe diem.



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noleen111

What i have learnt that women are very competitive and are very bitchy to each other. They often will criticise a women or glare when you look better in an outfit than they would.

My lady juice has blessed my with larger breasts (D cups). I do love to wear outfits that show my cleavage off a bit and I do get men that don't look at my face, but my breasts. I think.. hay buddy my face is up here. Some of them take a look, even if there partners are with them.

I love it when men stare at me, and women i am sure judge me, it part of being a woman.If they clock me, who cares.. no one has ever said something to me. I when I was single, i had men try chat me up.


Enjoying ride the hormones are giving me... finally becoming the woman I always knew I was
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