When we start out trying to just find answers to the endless questions about our gender issues, we just look at the big picture that shows us so many new possibilities available to us. Now it seems to me that I am happy with just doing the small mundane things associated with being a woman. For instance, I learned how to use a hair brush to get the look I want. I have not started using makeup but am curious. I love painting my nails and plucking my brows, or trying on different outfits to see how they look, or new earrings! I really enjoy trying new earrings.

Yesterday I learned about 'hand washing' polyester clothing. I have two bras and one nice gown that I really enjoyed getting them clean again. I also enjoy cleaning my house and making it ready to recieve visitors. Without any doubt I have changed for the better.

I couldn't agree more! I still find its a daily struggle to really accept myself and my situation, but you're totally right, there's so many little things I can just do for myself that feel great. It's mostly issues social anxiety and coming for me at this point.... Just wish people would let everyone be themselves and spend their time doing be same instead of Judging and criticizing people for who they are their decisions. In a perfect world I guess!


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I am still married but we are not intimate. She also does not approve of any hint of femininity in me. After I had my hot bath today I said 'WTH' and set my hair in what I thought was a style for a guy-looked like it to me. When she gets home she says "you need a haircut you look just like a girl'. I didn't flinch or get startled on the outside but inside I was shining bright as the sun.

I'm sorry to hear your wife isn't supportive. I've come out only to my girlfriend and I couldn't even be where I am now without her. I was actually talking to her today about how I need to start building my support group of other people I can trust, for my own sanity.

Although she may continue to say that sort of thing, even if for her it's negative, I say keep it up, and surely don't cut that hair! I've been growing my hair out for over a year now and it feels incredible.

I'm having a really hard time with it, but I'm trying really hard to reteach myself how to do what will make me happy regardless of what people think. These little victories you speak of are what I have right now to keep me going. Womens deodorant, lotion and underwear. Growing my hair, painting my nails clear and wearing plugs with danglies in my ears ( I have my ears lobes gauged to 1/2"). I also got a women's scarf in the mail today that is actually pretty androgynous and made me happy! Little victories are what make it better to wake up each morning! Keep shining as bright as the sun and don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't!


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