Im almost ready to give up on trying to be able to be me where I work. I almost thought I would be able to get out from under the guys dress code. Around a month ago, I tried finally. I was told I didn't have to go along with the rule. Well ya but it came with another problem. She was like now trying to control me in anything I wear. She's a control freak. She gave me like a list of you can't wear this, can't wear that. Im like you are weird.

It got to the point of where Im basically like, it's easier to just be uncomfortable than fight what I thought she wanted to help at first. I could write her up for basically lying to start with and all. Only one problem, others would know my secret. I don't want everyone knowing. Well so now Im back at the same problem I was. Uncomfortable, grouped in with the guys and ya no hope.

After she made things so awful for me at work when I trusted her, I got so depressed that I got suicidal. Like I was feeling like I should just die and when god and jesus come to me, Ill get to be myself, a girl. I started to feel better more afterwards.

I wish she knew how it feels. Maybe she would have a little empathy possibly. I trusted her because she's a liberal and look where it got me. Nowhere. Well so lets go play this little movie role instead of reality. I hurt inside just typing this.

I hear you. I once had a job in marketing for a corporation. Something came up one evening and I just told my manager about thinking I was trans. She was cool and we were both musicians and talked on a personal level most days so I felt comfortable outing myself. After she recoiled from the shock she said there was no way in hell I could transition there. Shortly after that day she upped the pressure to get more and more done until it was just a bunch of horsecrap that I could never get done. I got enough after a couple of months and took another job as a mechanic just to get away from her. Be careful when doing things at work.

Yes that is exactly the case. I thought she would be very accepting and all. She has however shown and yesterday how unaccepting she is of me. See I have the Jenner deal. Im a conservative/libertarian who happens to be a girl with this boy body and all. She does not like this at all as she has shown. She I wonder if she uses this to make me feel uncomfortable. She however does not realize how it's hurting me to not be able to express who I am because of my views. I dont know if this is discrimination at all and if it is how do I prove it. How do you say hey Im a girl but this and this I believe is happening. Now people know my secret which can bring more problems and what would she do to me possibly.

I dont really care what she thinks except well this is my job. I really don't know what to do except stay silent and well still have to deal with how I feel like inside.

There are 2 people who I work with and one is my boss/friend and the other is kind of my boss and a good friend. I wouldnt want them knowing. Im afraid it would hurt them. The 2 of them have always kinda treated me like their son and so if she and she knew Im actually a girl inside, well I know they would accept me, treat me right but I dont want them to feel like well so where is they guy we have always knew. I care about their feelings. So ya there is alot to happen if I said anything more.

It's always so complicated.

Here is a brochure that could help explain:
http://www.gires.org.uk/assets/DOH-Assets/pdf/doh-transgender-experiences.pdf

There are differences in brains of women and men so a mismatch is possible.
There are even substances known to cause a higher rate of this mismatch.
Being transgender has biological connections, so its a womans brain in a mans body and vice versa. Its nobodys fault, and people can't help it.
Maybe this explanation can help.

Well Larisa if you tell them it should be a relief for you... and you do not have to pretend...
this all is not your fault...


hugs

Dear Larsia:

Hi again, I am so sorry to hear of your anguish and treatment at work.  What follows I offer with love and concern for you as well as thinking about your workplace and the environment there.

You had a strategy and tried it and it seems it didn't work well.  You tried and now you are wiser than before.  It may be time to reconsider your strategy, because it isn't working as you had hoped it would.  I know this is tough to hear and I'm not suggesting you be rash; however, might it not be better for everyone if you came out at work?

I'll leave at that and if you are wondering I think that's really at the root of what's going on . . . with love for you my dear,

Rachel

Hey thanks for the link. I feel like she's just taken advantage of me in a way for something that I yes can't help. It's not my fault.

Where I work, people know not to call me sir and while they dont know why, they have enough respect for me not to do it. Yes they have done it by accident but not on purpose. I dont feel like she has shown me respect and I also do not know what to do about this also. I mean I could say that hey it's just at work where I have to deal with being under this guys dress code but it affects me other places to. Really it's very complicated and Im still not sure how to go about it. Thanks to her, she has made things worse for me.

Quote from: Larisa1983 on January 07, 2016, 10:42:11 PM
Hey thanks for the link. I feel like she's just taken advantage of me in a way for something that I yes can't help. It's not my fault.

Where I work, people know not to call me sir and while they dont know why, they have enough respect for me not to do it. Yes they have done it by accident but not on purpose. I dont feel like she has shown me respect and I also do not know what to do about this also. I mean I could say that hey it's just at work where I have to deal with being under this guys dress code but it affects me other places to. Really it's very complicated and Im still not sure how to go about it. Thanks to her, she has made things worse for me.

Its possible she does not understand and has some restraints.
Some cis people think its a choice and have a feeling they have to keep people from what is perceived as female territory.

Above are facts that might help explain. Maybe also help might explain how transgender people feel, that there is a dysphoria concerning their bodies and how they are perceived. Its a recognized and well documented condition.

An option would be to send a link to the pdf above with a few words of explanation. So its an official document explaining.

Well imo it might be less complicated and for you possibly a relief to also tell other people you mentioned who might be accepting.


hugs