Hey everyone,

I am new to this site as of today, but after reading some of the convo threads it seems like a great place to get advice! I have known for a long time that I was always more of a boy. I tried the whole dating guys thing as a kid and it was never in my place. I felt beyond uncomfortable. Because in the end, I felt more like his bro than his girlfriend.

I was raised in a very conservative christian family. They still very much are. So I held in my feelings for as long as I could in fear of being rejected, shunned, or completely embarrassed. Some of my family still hates interracial relationships!! But anywho...I digress...

So I finally agreed that enough was enough. I liked girls. I always have since I started school. Once I felt it was normal and okay, I came out my senior year of highschool. My family did not take it so well. In fact, some of my nieces and nephews still don't know I'm gay! They know their Aunt Melanie dresses a little different, more like a guy. But their parents want to keep them hidden from it for as long as possible...so I never bring it up with them.

My main issue is...after that long rant (sorry y'all), is that once I start transitioning, it won't be hidden anymore. I came out to my sister today as Trans and she is very supportive and loves me no matter what. She has some questions which I expected and welcome. But her husband is very religious and doesn't even agree with me being gay. (Mind you, I'm christian). He has never been hurtful or rude to me but his 3 girls were never told about me. Their oldest is 11 now, with the younger 2 being 6 and 7, and she is mature enough to understand gay and trans. Her mom explained it to her recently that her Aunt Melanie just loves girls instead of guys, which she had no problem with (because kids are awesome!). But now that I plan on transitioning within the next year or so, my sister is hesitant on telling her kids...she's nervous. Because she doesn't want to disrespect her husband's beliefs that the bible swears against it.

I'm just lost in it all...I know this is right for me. And I know in my heart that this is the person I was born and supposed to be. I just don't want to hurt those around me.

What should I do??

Welcome to Susan's Place. Most likely if properly explained, the kids will be fine with it. The younger people are, the less judgmental they are. As far as the husband, I don't know of anything in the bible that deals with ->-bleeped-<-. Yes, the bible talks about men wearing woman's clothing but that is for sexual reasons having nothing to do with being transgender.

You could attempt the logical explanation. Current research indicates that in your case you were exposed to high levels of T before you were born. This caused your brain to become masculine instead of feminine so you were truly born with the brain of a man in the body of a woman. By definition, this is nothing more than a birth defect. Would the husband insist that a person live with a correctable birth defect?

Should that fail, it's hard decision time. I suspect it wouldn't be possible for you stop your transition so your options are to avoid contact or maintain lose contact and hope sometime in the future he will come to understand the truth. Many religions accept us and possibly examination of the church doctrine might provide an argument you can use.

Sadly, far to often somebody has to make a decision like this and somebody has to be ignored or hurt.

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