Hi everyone!

Umm... I'm indecisive when it comes to my favorite names, so I don't have my (girl) name yet.
This stuff has affected me since I can first remember remembering(if that makes any since) Anyways, I just turned 17, but I'm shy, I don't have any friends, and I'm home-schooled. I've already told my parents about my issues because they said I could tell them anything. In reality, they thought i was joking and that was a really embarrassing experience. They said there's no reason i should be sad and that I have a perfect life.
Right now I'm feeling really depressed/lonely and I don't know what to do. I hate every freakin second living this fake personality, I avoid meeting others as i would rather prefer to meet them as a girl.The thought of even getting facial hair when I'm older just makes me want to puke, It really feels like if i don't change by the end of the year i would end my life, but I said that last year. I could wait till I'm older, but I would give up on life if I didn't look cute anymore. Could also beg my parents again, but the embarrassment would be too much for me.

Bottom line is, I'm trapped and there's no way out.
All I can do is cry every time I'm alone...

Hi Bubblegum 

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Hugs

V M

Welcome to Susan's.

I know it seems like for ever until you are able to get help on your own, but it isn't really.

You can make that time go by faster by having goals for a year from now. Then do steps to to get there. One step might be searching for the right name or deciding what wardrobe you might want to get and afford. Look for therapist or clinics around you, etc.

What is life in Alaska like? I always kind of wondered. The long days vs the long nights seem like it would take getting used to for me. How has it affected you?

Here are a few resources that could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901
and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,188309.msg1674885.html#msg1674885

Many people write a coming out letter, summing up thoughts and feelings.
Some people additionally make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with still the same sense of humour...

You could do a few things that give you a good feeling...
growing hair out, looking for womens clothes... second hand stores could be a good source...

You could tell you parents you want to see a therapist, for gender purposes, and pick someone who has gender on their list...
or if you do not want to come out you could tell you want to see a counselor for emotional reasons...
and pick someone who has, amongst others, gender on their list...
they might help later with coming out...
you could look here, and there are also online therapists:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.0.html

and you could aks at plannedparenthood or a lgbt center for counseling, they have phone and email...

keep on keeping on, try a few different things, you will succeed eventually if you keep at it...

If you feel lonely there is also a chat on susans by the way...

And here are other young trans people:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1758946.html#msg1758946


hugs

Quote from: LordKAT on January 07, 2016, 03:54:23 AM

What is life in Alaska like? I always kind of wondered. The long days vs the long nights seem like it would take getting used to for me. How has it affected you?

The scenery here is beautiful, I love being able to see mountains everywhere and having a river in my backyard is cool too. I hate hot days, luckily it only gets above 80 degrees like three days out of the whole year.
The endless daytime in the summer is definitely weird, but I truly love getting to work in the garden at midnight. It did mess up my sleep patterns, because it gets me used to staying awake way too late. Winter makes me feel depressed with it being dark all the time... The sun does come out briefly, but it doesn't come above the horizon as much as would like.

cool, Literally. I have an aversion to light but need heat. It sounds like a wonderful place to visit, but not so much for a permanent  place for me to live. Do you have pics of the mountains? Gardening at midnight sounds so different, but probably right up my alley, so to speak.