Before hormones I could get drunk n not blow up the guy ive been hooking up with for a year phone, but now after hormones everytime I get drunk I go insane on him n send him txt after txt after txt until he replys. I just really hope he dosnt hate me now cause last night was the worst. I kept cursing him out then telling him how much I care bout him and then begging for him to come pick me up at the bar to hav sex with me and even after he replied and said he was trying to go to sleep cause he had to wake up early n even told me goodnight I kept on n kept on with the txts until I just started balling out crying in the bar Infront of people.

I might respectfully suggest that getting drunk is a bigger issue for staying sane in a relationship??  I have been drunk too and am no saint but come on Hon, is anyone really at their best when totally toasted?

Still it is painful to realize when we have lost something or someone.  Starting over everyday works for some....

My mood swings are different on E.  I used to swing towards violent rage.  Now I swing towards bawling my eyes out.  I think taking E is a little like doing stuff with your non-dominant hand.  Everything seems familiar and you just rush out and try to do thing the same way... and then make a total mess of it.  Chemical interactions in the brain can be an extra layer of challenge.  You'll grow accustomed to it.  I'd say to dial back the ethanol 'til you're more accustomed to the E... but I have realistic expectations about telling people how to use.  Maybe you should just delete his number.

Your body will deal with alcohol differently once you are on HRT. If you find you are reacting like that now I suggest you cut back on the booze. HRT will make you more emotional but the last thing you want is to get drunk and lose it in public, that's a sure fire way to encounter violence and/or the police.

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 10, 2016, 03:28:31 PM
... that's a sure fire way to encounter violence and/or the police.

And sadly, in most places in the world, the most sure-fire way to encounter violence is to encounter the police.  Extra much so if you're transgender.

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 10, 2016, 03:28:31 PM
Your body will deal with alcohol differently once you are on HRT. If you find you are reacting like that now I suggest you cut back on the booze. HRT will make you more emotional but the last thing you want is to get drunk and lose it in public, that's a sure fire way to encounter violence and/or the police.

cut back on alcohol? I couldn't feel my face n I was stumbling after half of 1 White Russian. They r messing with my tolerance extremely.

Yes it will do that. Remember to eat when you drink, that should help a bit. And maybe drop the hard spirits in preference for something with a lower alcohol content.

QuoteI couldn't feel my face n I was stumbling after half of 1 White Russian.

If that's all you drank please consider that your drink may have been spiked.

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on January 10, 2016, 03:38:47 PM
cut back on alcohol? I couldn't feel my face n I was stumbling after half of 1 White Russian. They r messing with my tolerance extremely.

i know the feeling. last night i was partying at my place and had some guys over and i was so damn wasted. Everyone else was still passing and I had to skip.

Currently your body is in overdrive correcting itself. The new hormones are telling your body that it's been doing the wrong thing all this time and is backtracking. Just like if you had a bad head cold and attempted to drink...  You're going to have a lower tollerance that if you were healthy. Combine a quick drunk with lower muscle mass and hormone fluctuations... yeah. I can see crazy.  You're going to basically be that girl who's PMS'ing and drunk at the bar after a bad breakup with her boyfiend.  I'd give yourself time to adjust to the hormones before drinking. Then ease into the drinking scene after you've figured out your new hyper-emotional brain on estrogen.

Needs to be an app that makes you do a sobriety test before texting!


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If I may say so, the alcohol seems to be the biggest problem. I would consider it the biggest one and the only one that needs taking out of the equation.

Quote from: Martine A. on January 10, 2016, 11:21:06 PM
If I may say so, the alcohol seems to be the biggest problem. I would consider it the biggest one and the only one that needs taking out of the equation.

Yup

I'd say try ginger ale or limit to a glass of wine. I love tequila , but I can't drink anywhere near what I could pre HRT . The only thing I drink now is Irish coffee.

So I hardly EVER drink (except new year's I did have a lot of wine and actually gave my phone to a friend so I wouldn't text anyone lol), and I've still almost gone psychobitch on my poor boyfriend a number of times since starting HRT.  I think it's a combination of how hormones have changed the way I process/experience emotions, but also it's because of the regular insecurities of transitioning.

Notice I said *almost.*  Had I been drunk any of the times I was experiencing a mood swing, I probably would have freaked out multiple times, and not have been able to maintain my current relationship.  He is a very kind and understanding person, but I'm sure some of the extremes I've dealt with emotionally would've been too much even for him.

I think alcohol *can* really get in the way of coping during a transition, because your body starts reacting very differently to things, and you need a sober head/heart if you want to slowly learn the skills to manage these very new reactions/emotions.  I know I've needed this anyway. 

You can put this down as one of the biological unfairnesses of sex and gender.  Generally speaking, men have a greater tolerance for alcohol than women.  I don't know how well understood it is, but I believe it has at least something to do with ratio of muscle mass to body weight.  During m to f HRT, this ratio gradually shifts to a lower percentage of muscle mass.  Hence, a given amount of alcohol (pre-transition) will affect you more strongly as you are moving forward along the transition path.

So please be careful.  Consuming a level of alcohol that might have been controllable before HRT may have a disproportionate effect on you during transition.  Also, it's well known that HRT may trigger serious emotional and mood swings all by itself.  The interaction of the emotional effects plus a difference in how you metabolize alcohol can cause some serious problems.

Sounds like the guy in this case is dealing fairly well with this.  Great!  But don't push it too far.  I think you would be wise to ratchet back on the alcohol.  No need to be a teetotaler about it, but just recognize that it may have a much more potent effect on you than it had before.

We're all on your side . . .

Lock your phone away in your car or leave it at home when you go drinking


     Hugs,
- Katie
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