Amor'e I"m so glad you have found your family so supportive you deserve this with this kind of support the sky is the limit you go girl

   all my admiration

   bobbisue

Now I don't want to present male anymore my brain has like a type of mental block if I look at the male me in the mirror I see a lost guy that is broken.He is tired he looks as if he done with life. All I can think about is presenting female just being me and feeling free.

It is the weardest sensation I know who I really am now.

Quote from: Amoré on January 13, 2016, 11:09:35 PM
Now I don't want to present male anymore my brain has like a type of mental block if I look at the male me in the mirror I see a lost guy that is broken.He is tired he looks as if he done with life. All I can think about is presenting female just being me and feeling free.

It is the weardest sensation I know who I really am now.

This.  This!!!!!!!!!!   I have been praying for you.  There is a God, and he answers prayers.

Now, everything is changed.  Now that you know who you are, live your life.  Be happy.

I've been following your posts lately, and it's great to see something positive in your situation. Onward and upward!

If My experience is anything to go By now You have seen the real You it is going to be harder and harder to get back into that closet and it will do you no good to do so .Let go and just be Yourself You will be surprised how much support You can get from Your true friends and family .Now you have tasted life on the other side of the fence think deeply as to whether You want or really need to go back. Now you are in a position to take control of Your life please seriously consider doing so .I for one have never for one second regretted starting My transition and to be Quite honest I would rather be Dead than go back to being a sad miserable excuse for a man that I was .I have friends now instead of people that I was forced to interact with People now like Me because I am happy and approachable all Due to being able to be ME and not hiding my true nature from the world .So go Girl life is for living other people live their Lives only for themselves so Why shouldn't We It seems that Your wife is being completely selfish now its Your turn

Hugs

Toni

The selfish part is so true!!!!! Going back in the closet now is impossible and truly I will rather live my life irritating the crap out of her as a woman than give her the pleasure to dictate me further. I really need to get out of this place and move into my own place so hope that I get the job that I am going for an interview for tomorrow. I am going to start mountain biking again also.

I went and bought two summer dresses today I dressed in one but I am just down today. The house help told me O you are a lady now and that pissed me of for some reason. As if I was something else the whole time.

You live for you and the rest will all settle out how it should in the end.

I am so proud of you. I don't even know you and I want to dance for joy with you!

Yes! On getting back to biking. Give yourself things that you enjoy to keep your mind away from those things that aren't so pleasant (negative people, negative situations, etc).

Good luck on the interview!

*hugs*

Yes very good luck with the interview .And make the most of the Mountain Biking while You Can .I was a keen cyclist doing long distance charity rides but now with the lack of testosterone and a lot of oestrogen I have lost so much muscle  and streangth I can scarcely manage a few miles on an electric Bike LOL .Still it's worth it to be ME As to the house helps comment I would not take offence at it As you will find the new You is a different person in more way's than You can ever imagine only time will show how much .So they where only telling it as it is it's just easier for somebody on the outside to see it LOL

That step is so hard to take, but such a relief when you finally do. Congrats!

My family/friends also had a bit of a delay between me telling them and them actually seeing it. I was a lot more nervous showing guys the real me than the women, but it was like nobody even noticed. They never skipped a beat.

Quote from: Emileeeee on January 14, 2016, 09:20:31 AM
That step is so hard to take, but such a relief when you finally do. Congrats!

My family/friends also had a bit of a delay between me telling them and them actually seeing it. I was a lot more nervous showing guys the real me than the women, but it was like nobody even noticed. They never skipped a beat.

I know the guys are so much more intimidating. especially our afrikaans culture. I sort of chickened out today. Tomorrow I must be in male mode maybe saterday I will wing it and put on my dress that I bought today. I want to spite my wife sorry it is a little harsh but she made me mad today blocking me on social media. I am not used to being alone and on my own in life and that scares me.

Yes definitely make sure you have support. I didn't think I would need it, but it turned out that I did.

Congrats Amore, since i let Sophie out of the closet it has been harder to keep her hidden, and the day approaches to do the same as you. Thanks for the little confidence boost you have given me. Hope all works out for you.
Sophie

Quote from: Amoré on January 14, 2016, 10:23:30 AM
I want to spite my wife sorry it is a little harsh but she made me mad today blocking me on social media.

Actually, she's doing you a favor by blocking you.

The less contact you have with her, the better.  Especially at this point, since you simply cannot think past how hurt and angry you feel.

The less contact you have (in real life or on-line), the less occasion to get mad and the less chance you have to do something stupid that will hurt you in the long run.  And the less fuel you give to her anger.

I suggest blocking her, too.

All communication should be through your lawyer.  This isn't being "mean", it's about limiting the damage.

 Its not being selfish to live your life as who you are. Its selfish of others to require you to live the way they want you to.

Congrats girl!! You've got this!  Now that you have experienced life as your true self and you have been validated by your family there will be no stopping you. I have followed your posts and have felt so bad for you. You have gone above and beyond in trying to placate your spouse. You have been anything but selfish. I spent years living my life for others. Now that I have transitioned I am so much happier. I am so glad to hear that your family is supportive. Good luck as you move toward in your new authentic life.

Hey guys

Well today I dressed female again and I am looking after my daughter this weekend while visiting my mother.Okay my mother normally irritates the crap out of me but that is another story. 

Well I dressed with a new top that she gave me but it is sort of old lady like it is not me... I hated it being dressed like this it put me off. I felt so uncomfortable and stupid but said nothing. She pushed me to go to the shop like this I went and got the stuff I did not get any funny looks or something but I still felt like the clothes did not suit me. I passed flawlessly if I can put it like that.

Also I have an off day actually a lot of reminders that triggers memories of my and my wife places we went and stuff that we did I miss the good times. I just felt wrong today and guilty. My daughter calling me papa my mother that keeps calling me on the wrong pronouns and stuff like that made it hard on me today. I realised dysphoria can cripple the strongest of people from company ceo's to marines they are tuff like nails. You can't fight who are. You can't really fight your gender identity and change it.

The thing that bothers me. It is really difficult to stay in fem mode especially when you still got so much masculine features. I can pass easily or I think I do. I think I will get more comfortable as time goes by the more feminine I get. But now sometimes I just feel like a man in woman's clothing. For some reason my mother also puts me of from being a woman. I don't want to be like her the old lady that can't help herself everything is dramatic and hoooooo and eeeeeeee and stuff O my gosh no no no. If I am with her I feel like she is making woman out as being helpless and needs men to come and rescue us and crap. She has been like this from forever and that is just who she is. I believe woman can be strong, courageous , beautiful , simplistic but sophisticated and most of all not put on a facade. Look at marines like "Sona" again I reference her. That is a woman that served for there country fought like just as hard as any man. Look at myself I can wheelie a super bike, I can mountain bike the hell out of most guys. I also have been national rc helicopter champion and guess what I am a girl. So why do some woman put on this helpless charade that they do. All that things was not because I have a male body but because I was capable of it and believed I can do it.

I am a tomboy maybe I don't know but why do woman see themselves as inferior? We are not physical that strong as males but we can pack a punch.