I don't know if what i'm wanting to do is considered stealth or not but iv'e thought about what i'm going to do in the future when i'm not with my parents and i'm scared. I don't want to have to explain to the world around my i am transgender and i don't want that information to leak out either if i'm going to be known as transgender i wish to be the one to pick who i'm wanting to know that information. I understand where i live i can't hide people know me as female and i'm in a very small area where word travels however i just want to be me i want to be known as who i am but at the same time i find it okay to tell people i'm trans i just sort of "Have no choice" Sense the area i'm in has always seen me as female and is very small and like i said words travel. I guess what i'm trying to ask is very simple  how do i tell someone I'm transgender? What happens if someone wants to come over to my place? what happens if the schools i'm at gives me away? what do i say? I'm not good at starting a conversation with people let alone coming out to strangers who i know are going to eventually find out and ask due to the area i'm in and the people who know. That came out weird so let me be clear "I don't want to be known as trans, but i have to in this area and i don't know what to say/do" 

For years I used the don't ask, don't tell idea long before the Bill Clinton made it a household word. Very few people ever ask me and accepted me as I was. I know now because of my voice I may not have passed as well as I thought but most people didn't care enough to ask  and the few that did were very accepting of me.

If you are already known in an area where you will transition, telling a small number or even a single person at a time can make it easer on you. Keep it simple and limit the number of details because most people aren't interested in the details or don't have the knowledge of what to ask.

Most people are polite and aren't going to ask you personal question like that unless they know you really well and are comfortable with what they know or suspect about you so it's best not to worry about it.

Here are some resources that could help you :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour .

Imo a biological explanation is more socially acceptable.
There are differences in brains of women and men.
There are even substances known to cause a higher rate of transgender people.
Its fixed before birth and its how people feel.
They can't help it and its literallly a womans brain in a mans body and vice versa.
The usual treatment is to adapt the body to how people feel.
There is a transgender spectrum.
Some people want hormone replacement therapy, some GRS. Usually people start out slow, with changes to hair and clothing style, and then hrt to see how it makes them feel.

Some people simply know and want full transition.

In the thread above is a link to other young trans people, maybe you can make some friends there.


hugs

Quote from: Dena on January 16, 2016, 07:40:32 AM
For years I used the don't ask, don't tell idea long before the Bill Clinton made it a household word. Very few people ever ask me and accepted me as I was. I know now because of my voice I may not have passed as well as I thought but most people didn't care enough to ask  and the few that did were very accepting of me.

If you are already known in an area where you will transition, telling a small number or even a single person at a time can make it easer on you. Keep it simple and limit the number of details because most people aren't interested in the details or don't have the knowledge of what to ask.

Most people are polite and aren't going to ask you personal question like that unless they know you really well and are comfortable with what they know or suspect about you so it's best not to worry about it.

I don't know because the area i live in is judgmental to the point that one of the many reasons i left trying to get my g.e.d was because i addressed homophobia that was going on occasionally and was told i had to basically deal with it and they couldn't do anything. So i got up and i left and with figuring out i'm trans this has been scaring me more then anything because it's in a way even bigger and i fear the possibility of the wrong people getting a hold of that information but i don't trust my area so much that even the good people around here i could maybe meet i would be scared they could betray me or tell somebody. It's not possible for me to not say anything i don't have my birth changed on my id or anything and i haven't picked a name i'm thinking about Evan but i haven't told anyone.
So i could not say but how? and if i didn't say people know me to much not to say something to someone
it's just impossible i don't really know how else to put it into words. But i have been thinking about moving a lot accept i can't yet and that's easier said then done when it comes to moving and having almost zero understanding about the outside world.  It's like i don't have to say it but they will....and when i do say it or if i try to escape it they'll find out from my family or family that i don't have a clue about or people in the area who'll say something.
I hate downing what you said but i don't know how to say "Yes that'll work" because i really can't say for sure
maybe i'm wrong though...maybe. i hope i'm wrong and i can trust more people and i'm safer then i  think i am.
But i saw it once, and i can't trust it anymore.

Quote from: Laura_7 on January 16, 2016, 07:50:42 AM
Here are some resources that could help you :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour .

Imo a biological explanation is more socially acceptable.
There are differences in brains of women and men.
There are even substances known to cause a higher rate of transgender people.
Its fixed before birth and its how people feel.
They can't help it and its literallly a womans brain in a mans body and vice versa.
The usual treatment is to adapt the body to how people feel.
There is a transgender spectrum.
Some people want hormone replacement therapy, some GRS. Usually people start out slow, with changes to hair and clothing style, and then hrt to see how it makes them feel.

Some people simply know and want full transition.

In the thread above is a link to other young trans people, maybe you can make some friends there.


hugs

I don't think i need to explain that? sorry im a little lost
i'm just wanting to know how to put it into words?

When I came out to my Family on Xmas 2014, I did it by talking to each family member one on one.
I decided to start with the one who I know would be most understanding and worked my way to the hardest.

So for me it was my Sister, Mom ,Dad.

I just explained how i felt and what I have been hiding since I was 8 yrs old. I was so nervous and scared, but it is expected.
After all, your family has known you as one person your whole life.

Once I told them they were all 100% behind me and you have no idea how a 40 yr burden taken off my back suddenly felt! OMG the relief at that moment had me crying non-stop due to happiness.

Once I was out, my Mom especially wanted to tell all her friends ect as did my sister (over the course of a yr) and I think everyone we know...knows now.

What I learned from this is just BE YOU, BE HONEST, Be ready to explain to them what Dysphoria is, they probably won't ask, but DO kinda inform them to help them understand.

If you have a significant other, do NOT push them into understanding you, It may backfire (As it did me) so let time help them understand. Once I slowed down, my Wife is now 100% behind me.

I learned after the fact that there is no reason to not tell your family anything you feel might hurt your feelings. It's Your Family!

So back to the actual title in this topic:
1. Just tell them you are Transgender.
2. Listen to what they have to say.
3. Be yourself

*hugs*

Jess

Quote from: Jessika on January 16, 2016, 08:41:11 AM
When I came out to my Family on Xmas 2014, I did it by talking to each family member one on one.
I decided to start with the one who I know would be most understanding and worked my way to the hardest.

So for me it was my Sister, Mom ,Dad.

I just explained how i felt and what I have been hiding since I was 8 yrs old. I was so nervous and scared, but it is expected.
After all, your family has known you as one person your whole life.

Once I told them they were all 100% behind me and you have no idea how a 40 yr burden taken off my back suddenly felt! OMG the relief at that moment had me crying non-stop due to happiness.

Once I was out, my Mom especially wanted to tell all her friends ect as did my sister (over the course of a yr) and I think everyone we know...knows now.

What I learned from this is just BE YOU, BE HONEST, Be ready to explain to them what Dysphoria is, they probably won't ask, but DO kinda inform them to help them understand.

If you have a significant other, do NOT push them into understanding you, It may backfire (As it did me) so let time help them understand. Once I slowed down, my Wife is now 100% behind me.

I learned after the fact that there is no reason to not tell your family anything you feel might hurt your feelings. It's Your Family!

So back to the actual title in this topic:
1. Just tell them you are Transgender.
2. Listen to what they have to say.
3. Be yourself

*hugs*

Jess

I think people are misunderstanding something inside my post this relates to coming out but iv'e already come out in 2016 a day after new years i think.

I think the best approach is to completely accept yourself. I live in a downtown area of a University town. I've lived here 20 years before transitioning so there is no way I could be stealth if I wanted to. I might be slightly different in that I like be trans , so I really could care less what others think. I've been pleasantly surprised though at the acceptance rate. I'd say just live your life. as you always have.

It comes down to two things. Fear of what they will do to you and fear of what they think of you. I live in a country were I don't have protection because I was a transsexual but I have protection as a person so I am not worried much about what people will do to me. If their mind is so small that they have bad thoughts about me, that doesn't bother me because that's their problem and not mine. I am willing to help them understand and grow but people can have bad thoughts about me for reasons other than my transsexualism so what they think of me doesn't bother me. I didn't do this to impress other people. I only did it to for my peace of mind.