Congrats on your steps toward hair removal! I think the best way for me to offer my two cents is via my hair removal experience. The following is just my experience and opinion about my own path. Obviously, you should consult with your doctors and other care providers regarding what is best or correct for your own path.
It might help to know that I am currently choosing not to choose a gender identification box so I just say I'm me.
But I sense there's a strong element of non-binary leaning trans-feminine to my identity. I dress across a spectrum, but usually no less than with some clearly feminine attire, and my hair style leans fem. I am not sure if I will go full time or not... that's TBD. So perhaps there's similarities to our starting points fwiw.
I went for my first laser session for "full body," meaning legs, chest, arms, and face, about a 1.5 years prior to starting HRT. My laser approach used the High Speed LightSheer DUET laser. I went for sessions about every 6 weeks given the general hair growth cycle.
Laser did wonders on my legs, chest, arms (including underarms) except for a few white hairs for which electrolysis would take over. My first laser session was a door to freedom of sorts.
Laser was largely ineffective on my face which had black, brown, and brown/white whiskers. The laser got some of the facial hairs, but only a few here and there. Not sure why that was the case, but one personal unverified theory is that the combo thick white/dark whiskers got in the path of the laser so it had trouble fully reaching the purely brownish/dark hairs. Just a guess.
I began electrolysis about 6 months after starting laser. The electrologist who focused on my facial hair highly recommended I keep the laser away from my face while she worked on it because she had seen results where the laser itself can do something to make electrolysis more difficult. I really don't know the details, but since laser wasn't working on my face anyway, it was not an issue to avoid laser on the face. Based on this personal experience of mine, I am under the impression the face is best approached with electrolysis alone, at least in my case.
In the beginning, I would come right home after a large facial electrolysis session, at which point, I'd cake my face with zinc oxide, or my electrologist would before leaving my appointment. Yes, I would drive home with a white face.
I used zinc largely in the beginning, where the work was most intensive, causing the most redness because of all the large whiskers. I feel the zinc was magic, it really settled down my face. I went to sleep with it on those nights, using a towel on my pillow.
I would sometimes go to electrolysis prior to other appointments, seeing other people, or going back to work, and my face would be red with clear shiny lotion, not white zinc of course, where my face would be shiny until drying or I'd wipe it off because I had an meeting after electrolysis. But I did go back to work with redness that was likely very obvious, not to mention I did not shave remaining whiskers, but I just didn't care. I was ready to just say "Oh, I'm trying some facial treatments" but nobody ever asked. I actually wasn't sure I wouldn't simply say I'm getting electrolysis. I was waiting to be asked, but nobody ever said anything. At that time, I was somewhat out, wearing skinny jeans, women's boots... in a fem guy mode of sorts, so my circumstances were not as critical as someone trying to hide the process.
My electrologist really stressed I not shave at all if possible, that shaving just makes the whole process more difficult. At some points I had to shave, but I worked to try to meet her guidelines. She didn't like if I had to shave, but there was no issue if I did.
Not everyone can avoid shaving, but my work situation didn't care, and my electrologist used an approach that went evenly throughout my entire face, so I had a sort of shadow or even stubble look. I think she can go either evenly throughout the face, or area by area, but I wanted the "even" approach in case I had to avoid shaving for an upcoming electrolysis appointment, I didn't want to look too patchy. I felt the "even" approach allowed for me to avoid shaving as often, and I could therefore have further electrolysis sooner than later. It kept the rhythm of facial electrolysis moving forward as fast as possible, with about two long appointments per week at the beginning.
I went with the thermolysis method of electrolysis for my facial hair. It worked well for me, and another electrologist of mine for leg/arm/chest touchups who uses the blend method confirmed that the outcome is largely dependent on the skill of the electrologist. I say this because I'd read so much about blend this and that, but I've personally discovered both approaches work for me, and that the outcome seems to really be about the skill of the person doing the work. I'm not recommending an approach, just sharing what I did.
My first facial electrolysis sessions relied on my electrologist's pain reducing creams, but my doctor was able to enlighten me that I could have a prescription for Lidocaine/Prilocaine (2.5%/2.5%) cream. The cream made an amazing difference, so my doctor gave me a prescription that I could refill as needed for up to a year, renewing after that as needed. Your care providers can help determine the best numbing approach, if any, for facial electrolysis in your locale and given your specific path of care.
Regarding pain management, I've heard, but have not verified, that some electrolysis places are near dentist offices that offer Novocain before electrolysis, something I have never tried. I've also heard of other meds being prescribed, also something I have never tried, and I've heard that the med route can be tough to manage because it's intoxication basically, so one generally has to wait for it to wear off before driving to leave an appointment. I avoided those more powerful med approaches, just stuck with the prescription cream which was an amazing critical difference for me. It wasn't perfect, there was still pain, but it was much better than without. As well, the effectiveness of the cream varied depending on the location of the face given, I'm guessing, nerve differences.
An hour before an appointment, after an optional hot compress on a clean face, I would cake my face white with the Lidocaine/Prilocaine cream, cover it with several pieces of plastic wrap which allowed room for my mouth to be exposed.
I could just wait in the waiting room reading before my appointment, let the cream take effect. My electrologist would then work away, removing the plastic wrap as she made her way around my face. That was my approach to numbing. I share this aspect of my experience because I'd not really seen much on creams and pain management, and electrolysis involves pain.
Regarding pain, I would also avoid coffee before either laser or electrolysis. Coffee can do something to increase pain. Not sure what, but that's just me. On occasion I'd sometimes take an over the counter herbal Kava Kava which I found made the experience easier. I felt more relaxed. At times I fell asleep, but only briefly.
I agree with what was said above re shaving... you can always tell people you're tired of shaving. My electrologist says she's worked with many genetic males who identify as male over the years. I guess it's not unheard of for non-trans genetic males to receive facial electrolysis. In our sometimes fearful world of early transition it's easy to think our red post-electrolysis-appointment face will scream "I'm transitioning everyone!" when, in fact, I've found it generally doesn't. I'm not recommending folks not be cautious because my situation is such that I didn't have a lot to worry about. Others may be different. And I do believe women especially can ID small lifestyle changes/things. When I first started wearing women's boots with my 511 jeans (a relatively very fem look for me), the guys didn't notice as much as the women, or so my mind left me thinking. I'm probably somewhat accurate, but there are exceptions.
I had not started HRT until about one year after beginning facial electrolysis, about one and half years after starting laser. I'm so glad I took that approach, so so glad. I say this because, while my facial hair is nearly gone, I still have some clear tiny whiskers that come in now and then, and I go to electrolysis from time to time, and I'm now finding my pain threshold is much lower. I went to some laser touchup sessions as well, and discovered the same thing. I cannot be certain myself, but I've heard from a few reliable care providers that HRT may be the cause of a lower pain threshold. I don't know for sure other than there was a marked difference in pain threshold compared to day 1 of either laser or electrolysis. Maybe others can speak on this more definitively.
An aside, my transition has really been about lifting away repressions toward allowing myself to discover myself. In this vein, my approach necessarily involved taking steps in feminization, and I'm doubtful I would have started HRT prior to hair removal anyway. In fact, I was initially working to avoid hormones because allowing any sort of "out" and open fem expression was so powerful by itself given decades of repression. I needed time to see where that led. I've had a strong desire to start hormones since the 1990s, but it did not come back in front of me until around 2012, where I was being careful not to jump too quickly, not take the HRT choice lightly. I was probably too cautious, but that's hindsight for ya.
I eventually started HRT but hair removal was a genuine stage for me, one that personally belonged prior to HRT to at least some extent. It was a way to see what the step in perm hair removal did for me. Each of these things seems to be a step toward feminization or trying something new toward discovering the expression and way which works best. A non-HRT approach to transition is not against the rules, just as an HRT before, or in parallel with, perm hair removal is equally valid. I personally like the idea of perm hair removal then HRT, but that's just me.
Best of luck!
