Quote from: audreelyn on January 19, 2016, 12:29:44 AM
Does he call all other women in your department the same way? If not, this man is clearly undermining your position.

THIS!!
How does he address other women?

I've always called a lot of my female friends dude, or used "man" around them. Dudette when I was being silly (watch Indian shows & movies you see women calling each other like man come on yaar, or dude hurry up, Etc) , but this is the first I've heard of "guy".

As said above, see if he's using it with other women, it might just be part of his unique verbal makeup. However if it's just you... Somethings off.


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From a Martine to another,

You clearly stated that the way he is addressing you is hurtful. Whether it's ok or not to call a woman 'dude', 'man', 'bro' is irrelevant. It's a question of respect here. I'm pretty sure he doesn't call is mother 'dude'. Hence he should be able to adapt.


Martine

Quote from: martine on January 19, 2016, 06:30:46 AM
From a Martine to another,

You clearly stated that the way he is addressing you is hurtful. Whether it's ok or not to call a woman 'dude', 'man', 'bro' is irrelevant. It's a question of respect here. I'm pretty sure he doesn't call is mother 'dude'. Hence he should be able to adapt.


Martine

Totally agreed!!

I know a ciswoman who talks like this -- she calls everybody "man," "dude" and "bro," often several times per sentence.  I keep hoping that it's just a phase she's going through -- the funny thing about this is that she hates frat boys and was raised by a pair of radical feminist lesbians.  The only reliable test here is to see if he calls other women these things.

However... I doubt you'll find anything official regarding how to talk to men and women, unless you're in the military (they have rules for everything and my dad got court-martialed for calling a female officer "sir").

I don't know how you approach life... I'd probably start calling him "sister," "woman" and "girl."  That way, if he doesn't change, at least you'll have some small satisfaction.

I posted a thread about this very same thing. Basically I called out the dude on it.

He's been cold to me ever since. I think since I transitioned he's a bit resentful that a woman is over him. He's a kind of macho type who hangs with his "bros" in the office.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=199736