Hello my name is Leon. I'm 20 years old and is currently living in California. Throughout my life I have been stuck with this problem and never came to a conclusion. There are times when I do think I am transgender. I want to live my life as a male with a broad chest and short hair. Currently, I'm a 5'3 asian girl with long black hair and is very confused. Part of me wants to live as a man and the other wishes to stay as a girl. But I'm not quite sure if living as a girl means that I'm trying to stay in a position that's most convenient for me, that I may just be too scared to take that huge step, or that I'm still unsure. I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decision.
I hate my voice, body structure, chest, and genitals. To me, it's uncomfortable. It has gotten to the point where this has affected my relationship with my partner. I'm scared of how other's will judge me and really don't want to be in that middle ground between genders (male and female). I guess my issue is that I want to either be fully male or fully female and not anything in between.

First off really in the same boat but born male and 43.

That being said the best advice I can give is see a gender therapist to help you figure this out.

Aside from that I would also suggest and this is really hard is to imagine what your life would be if you were M/F/or something else. What I mean is more then just simple thought on it but rather deep down thinking. Like what are the costs versus benefit of transition and no I don't mean the monetary aspect so much as the emotional wellbeing of yourself. This not an easy question indeed still not sure myself but if you can find a therapist or even a real close friend or something to help explore this with safety.

Lastly be patient with this and really really think about where you wish to go. Not saying you should or shouldn't rather more just give yourself time to truly think on it and the answer will eventually surface.

Hey Leon!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Figuring out your gender, especially when you feel the opposite to what everyone and society expects of you, can be very difficult and confusing. Unfortunately only you can make that decision - as mentioned above, talking with a therapist or a counsellor who has some gender experience would be a great start towards helping you sort things out and decide on what, if anything, you might want to do about it.

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Cheers

Grace