I was introduced as female by someone to someone who obviously thought i was male and it was the first time that i really felt misgendered - I'm only like 90% out so i technically get it all the time. but it's just when someone who knows i'm trans really dives in with 'this is a GIRL called GIRL name with HER GIRL PARTS' it felt pretty bad, probably because otherwise i'd have lowkey passed to someone not paying attention to me.

Basically it's weird to feel on the one hand confident enough to say it's a misgendering (not like background misgendering from presenting as female/ not really passing as male) and on the other not confident/ free enough to correct them. Anyone else get this feeling?

My mother keeps talking about me to other family members but switching between she, he and it all the time which kind of feels like the same thing. I'm not on hand to correct her but I know she's doing it and I can't really stop her.

It does feel like an intentional misgendering or even dumbing down of the issue as if I'm not supposed to care enough about it to pull anybody up. But then other times she apologizes for doing it and tells me "it's hard to remember" sometimes. I will correct her if it's bugging me, but lately I've been so cheesed off with her general behavior I can't even be bothered.

It does feel different to somebody you don't know making a mistake because they do know full well. I think in my case they don't think I'm offended by anything, but if in your case they do know it's offensive to you then it could be a form of passive aggression being leveled at you.

yeah it might be. it's also frustrating because i'm trying to remove my name and pronouns from my work (i've actually stopped working til i get a better grip on my transition so that i don't have to change info twice) and then there's someone going around telling people about my work in the context of my incorrect gender. doi. I know they think they're helping... how to i ask them to stop without being passive aggressive myself?

Most people still call me my male name and use guy pronouns on me even tho I've been out for awhile now and almost always now presenting female round em. My brother and sister in law (and her family) in particular do it all the time. It's bothering me a whole lot more of late cuz of nephew is getting to the age where he is trying to start to talk and I don't want him calling me uncle xxxxxxxxxxxx you know?

I'm at the point now that I'm just sick of it, can't stand it anymore. Its not in my nature to be assertive like this, telling people what to do or being up front about things like this and I feel really uncomfortable doing so, but to me it's gotten to the point where I kinda don't care anymore bout being nice and all. Next time I see em I'm gonna tell em stop it, I mean, they know my name (well most, will tell those who don't next time see them too), they know I'm trans and it's not a phase or something, they say they're supportive, time to put up of shut up, or else. I understand it will happen from time to time but if they refuse or if it happens frequently after some time has passed to get used to it, my or else will come into play; not coming around anymore.

I assumed that when I came out and started presenting that they would change automatically, that's sadly not the case with me.

There just comes a time where you have to stand up for yourself; say I'm a man (in your case), this is my name, stop calling me my old name, girl, she, all that or else you may just have to accept it and get used to it because in my experience, it won't change unless you make it change.

Hope this helps.

Yeah I am going to ask again soon, it's just that every time i talk about it i'm told i need to give them more time to get used to it but i don't know how they're ever going to get used to changes if they're not actually making any changes. I'm getting really really tired of waiting haha

I have a cis female sister who decided to change her name to another female name.

I took nearly ten years for people's confusion (including my own) on what name to call her.  I am sensitive to this, but even I found it hard to think her as her new name, and gender was not even involveed.

Just because people use the wrong name doe not necessarily mean that they do not accept your transition or new gender identity.  Habits are very hard to change.  So unless you feel that a mistaken term is a deliberate denial of your new identity, and an attempt to dis you, maybe we should be a bit  more tolerant of innocent slips of the gender tongue.