Hi everyone! So I'm happy that I finally worked up the courage to make my first post. So I guess I should say something about myself, and I hope this isn' an over share, but forgive me in advanced. So I'm 31 and a MtF transgender, well not yet... I'm pre everything. But ever since I was around 12 I knew I was meant to be female. I've never told anyone basically out of fear for during my teenage years and in my 20's its importance was pushed to the side basically because like (and death) got in the way. What I mean by that was when I was 21 my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and I kinda stopped living for myself and focused only on helping my family anyway that I could. Unfortunately my Dad lost his battle with cancer when I was 25, and frankly it messed me up... like a lot. I still haven't been able to deal with it, and finally just a few months ago I started therapy to help properly deal. But now that I'm in therapy I've been thinking its time to talk to my therapist about wanting to be female. I came here cause I was hoping to get some advice because I still have one reservation. That reservation is sometime I'm worried that I'm just faking that I'm not really trans, I say this cause I don't remember ever crying about being stuck in the wrong body. I know it sounds crazy, but the fact is it hasn't made me have a big emotional outburst. It makes me feel like it might not be real. Honestly when I think about being born the wrong sex it makes me feel kind of numb like there should be emotion but there just isn't. I'm just wondering if anyone else experienced the same kind of feeling? Well I feel like I have successfully rambled enough, and if you read all of this thank you.
-Polly
