Well just got finished meeting my new counselor/therapist. She is not specifically a gender therapist but seems like a nice knowledgeable lady.
i spent the first 30 minutes or so  telling her about myself and a seperate issue that has been bothering. The first topic had me in tears and that is what i could not understand. I was trying to find out why a certain incident that was a little violent bothered me so much. My history and training says it should not be a big deal.

I noticed we where discussing that pretty good, glanced at the clock and thought "no way, you better get the big one out" so a little beating around the bush and then out it came. That lady sure has a poker face lol, didn't miss a beat. I went right in to why i feel the way I do and that I don't think that i need affirmation of the fact. Etc etc. I told her my only reservations are how will this affect my wife. I told her I just have to get this off of my chest so my wife can work thru her feelings,thoughts etc. Holy smoke blasted time was up. She told me to wait with the news and we would get more in depth next time AAARGH. she did think the first event i mentioned is tied into my realization that I am a women inside.
This is worse than a hollywood cliffhanger. And have a sneaking suspision that she will be making a lot of money lol Maybe i can book her for the day lol In the mean time I will wait 6 more days wondering why she thinks I should wsit a little before telling my wife.

Thanks for listening, I am sure more will follow

I'm happy your first meeting went well, when I was in forced therapy when I was young I never told them why I was so angry. I knew why I was angry all the time and short tempered also,it was because I was a girl being forced into the role of being male. Years later I understood why my dad did this so I would survive long after he was gone,I think he noticed I was different and wanted me to be tough. My mom knew I was a girl with but I was boy downstairs,we used to watch shows dealing with this when I was growing up,I think they were trying too understand me. I learned that the male mask I sometimes hide behind is kinda a cool dude when you get to know him and besides liking women I grew too love that attachment.. My wife knows and is trying her best too be supportive as long as I don't go the hrt,gcs route and it's been 16 yrs since I fully told her the truth up til then she thought I was a crossdresser with man boobs since I'm a natural AA cup puberty backfired on me.

Wow Cheryl

Thanks! It is so interesting to hear things from others experiences and have bits and pieces resonate. Luckily i did not have therapy at a young age, If I did an exorcism probably would have been involved, given the religous background of my family. Strike the probably

I doubt that I can go on without hrt and full time at a bare minimum, I am very much leaning towards GCS.I have a long road before that comes up, better take one piece at a time. No doubt my wifes feelings will have a big impact on that.