Had a great week. For the first time ever I let someone know who I really am.  Ok it was the dr but it felt great but then I was told I'd need to wait a couple of weeks to see a therapist. Great

I started to feel things slip away and dark thoughts were heading my way so I made plans to meet a friend and come out, I don't think telling my wife atm is a good idea.

Now those plans have fallen through, the thoughts of am I doing the right thing have already been spinning round my head.

Any advice please

Hey its Friday night!  Put on some dance tunes, your favorite outfit and dance girl!  Seriously it is very helpful to simply move.  Shake it up, do something outside the routine.  Demonstrate to yourself that this is your life.  Get out of your head and out in the fresh air.  Walk downtown or ride your bike.  Call a friend and talk.

You have taken a step that took some of us decades to get to.  You are right on schedule and there is no race.

Knowing who you really are, priceless!

I chose to see a therapist before coming out to my wife, and I'm very glad I did. I was and still do suffer from alot of uncertainty about myself and what I want, but my therapist challenged me with many questions that my wife would also ask later, so I had at least a few answers for her when the time came.

I think seeing a therapist is a very important step. I to saw a counselor before
ever getting up the courage to tell my wife and my family. Being able to talk to
someone freely and spill your life out to them and have them be supportive and
get you on the right track towards being who you're supposed to be .. it can be
life changing.  Hang in there, things will take time.

Kath

I just feel is it worth  it? I've definitely known how I feel for the last 12 years and just gone on as normal. My current thoughts are who am I to possibly cause so much hurt to others by changing who I am, and is it worth it?

Here are a few resources that could help you :

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,203457.msg1809402.html#msg1809402


hugs

Dear Rose:

Do see a therapist regularly. Also, keep in mind that these mode swings are normal - painful and unwanted but none the less part of the process of letting go of one life to grab hold of another.  I wish it wasn't so but if bull frogs had wings . . . 

Keep on keepin on and do post often; it will help a ton.   

Love and all the best,

Rachel

Quote from: Emily Rose on January 30, 2016, 04:09:28 AM
I just feel is it worth  it? I've definitely known how I feel for the last 12 years and just gone on as normal. My current thoughts are who am I to possibly cause so much hurt to others by changing who I am, and is it worth it?

Is it worth it?


I don't know if transitioning is worth it for you, but your current situation seems untenable. There is reason to have hope though, because with therapy you will be much better able to plan your life. 

Good luck!

Quote from: Emily Rose on January 30, 2016, 04:09:28 AM
I just feel is it worth it? I've definitely known how I feel for the last 12 years and just gone on as normal. My current thoughts are who am I to possibly cause so much hurt to others by changing who I am, and is it worth it?

You've been able to gone on as normal, but have you been happy? I didn't fully notice at the time, but my depression was all linked to me being trans, and worrying about what others will think.

With transitioning, you need to think about you a little more than others. You need to think about what will make you happy. Not others. Causing hurt to others is something none of us want to do, but sometimes it's needed, so that the trans person can live happily.

A therapist should go though these kind of things with you, and help you find what's best for you.

Unfortunately it's just part of my nature to be helpful and supportive. I hardly ever think about myself and always put other first. To make someone unhappy is devastating for me [emoji31]

Quote from: Emily Rose on January 31, 2016, 05:39:06 PM
Unfortunately it's just part of my nature to be helpful and supportive. I hardly ever think about myself and always put other first. To make someone unhappy is devastating for me [emoji31]

Don't worry. Nothing will happen, unless you decide it is for the best. Your therapist will help you evaluate your options, but if you'd like, feel free to explain them to us.

Feeling a little better today. Got together with a friend of mine and decided to tell her about who I really am.

I was pleasantly surprised that there was no over reaction, no masses of question but just 1 that stood out "how do you feel".

The only answer I could give was relieved. I felt good that I had managed to tell someone without falling apart.

Although this is only a very small step, as she is quite liberal. It felt good that it didn't feel like I'm now going through this alone while waiting for my therapist referral.

I'm happy it went well for you. Sometimes we expect the sky to fall down, only to be met with life as normal.