I sure wish I could sleep. When I first realized that I am transgender this warm comfortable peaceful feeling came over me, from my mind into my heart. Now my mind races a mile a minute and is more crowded than Times square.
I can count on one hand how many times I have cried in my adult life now I am about ready to bawl any minute. This is just crazy. I have to stop this crap by starting my transition, but that will take a little while still. Of course my wife is concerned that i have not been my normal self. She told me that i always have trouble sleeping when I have a lot on my mind. She sure knows me. I have to tell her. I will wait until the weekend so she has at least a little time to start digesting this mess.
I should consider myself lucky I have always been able to shove my feelings back in and move on. Now the floodgates are open and there is no stopping what comes out. Except for hurting my wife I can consider myself lucky to be in an ok position to start my transition.  I really feel for people that have actively battled this for a long time, it is rough.
I am glad to have found this site. It helps writing a ramble but mostly seeing the beautiful people here and to know that I can be there one day is a boost also. It is like a fight between optomism and agony...really weird

Quote from: soon2b on February 02, 2016, 04:00:32 AM
I sure wish I could sleep. When I first realized that I am transgender this warm comfortable peaceful feeling came over me, from my mind into my heart. Now my mind races a mile a minute and is more crowded than Times square.
I can count on one hand how many times I have cried in my adult life now I am about ready to bawl any minute. This is just crazy. I have to stop this crap by starting my transition, but that will take a little while still. Of course my wife is concerned that i have not been my normal self. She told me that i always have trouble sleeping when I have a lot on my mind. She sure knows me. I have to tell her. I will wait until the weekend so she has at least a little time to start digesting this mess.
I should consider myself lucky I have always been able to shove my feelings back in and move on. Now the floodgates are open and there is no stopping what comes out. Except for hurting my wife I can consider myself lucky to be in an ok position to start my transition.  I really feel for people that have actively battled this for a long time, it is rough.
I am glad to have found this site. It helps writing a ramble but mostly seeing the beautiful people here and to know that I can be there one day is a boost also. It is like a fight between optomism and agony...really weird

Glad to see you get support of your wife to deal with this suffer together. For me my married fall apart because of my cross dressing. I'd to deal with this problem on my own for awhile, and couple times I have a urge to end it all. Best wishes and good luck.

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Loss of sleep at this point is pretty common. I went several weeks with 2 hours of sleep a night and I didn't miss the sleep.  After everything finds it's new place in your mind, you will return to a normal sleep pattern so don't feel this is a permanent condition. It could extend out as much as a month or two depending on how much you have to deal with and how long it take you to accept all the new facts you are dealing with but it shouldn't go beyond that.

Thanks, it is good to know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train. This just looks me since I have always dealt well with issues. Feels weird to be helpless. My poor therapist will earn her money lol.
Have a great day

Beth

Beth,

Dena's advice seems right on. I think a majority of us suffer insomnia of some sort. Mine has improved after about 9 months and some acceptance.

Good luck. Hope you can get some rest soon.

Joanna

Thank ya'll it's good for my mind to know that this is temporary and intermittant, helps keep unneeded stress down

Since starting my transition I have for the first time in 16 years started to sleep for 5 hours solid at least a couple of times a week....prior to this it was mainly 3-4 broken hours...so it will get better...I actually slept for 6 hours the other night which is the first time in 16 years I have slept that long.