This is a pretty stupid question but I'm getting kind of stressed about it so... I know that the final decision is a little while off, but I'm torn between wanting the voice drop + the weight distribution + passing privilege, and worrying about hair loss and beard growth and not wanting to see a stranger in the mirror - a different stranger to the one i see now lol. I also don't want to push my boyfriend away with the physical changes.

I want to have chest surgery before T because I feel like that might be enough for me + if i do go on T it'll be easier not to have to bind. But I'm not sure if i get the choice - I'm on the NHS in the UK and I've read conflicting guidelines about hormones + surgery, in that an NHS england one said 6 months HRT before surgery, and an NHS scotland one said chest before T. Neither of them were recent either + i think the system is changing.

I just don't want to have to wait longer to transition because i don't take the first chance i get, and i don't want to spent the next however many years of my life wondering if i should have done it or not. I don't want to become unattractive to myself or my boyfriend (because I'm shallow P:). But I'm worried that if i say to either of my doctors that i'm not 100% sure about T i won't be 'trans enough' for chest surgery - which I 100% want.

So. What do? What made you make the decision if you weren't sure at first?

For me the decision to go on E was pretty easy as I didn't have anyone in my life to worry about but I faced a more difficult decision when it came to surgery. I was able to resolve my issue by asking if the old life had anything to offer that I would want to return to. If your old life still has a hold on you, reevaluate that hold and determine if it is more valuable to you than T. Only after you know your old life is in the past should you start T.

I don't know if NHS follows WPATH or similar guidelines, but those guidelines don't state that T before chest surgery is required. It can definitely be done first, especially if your chest is keeping you from passing as male effectively. I'd bring up to them that this is the case in the US if they try to tell you no.

As far as T goes, unfortunately you don't get to pick and choose what effects you get and what you don't. But the bad stuff doesn't always happen to everybody. I haven't experienced any hair loss whatsoever, not even thinning. Facial hair seems to be a slower change for everyone, so I wouldn't worry about that right away. It's not something that would sneak up on you. Once it started growing you could find a way to deal with it. Mine didn't start coming in well until just before a year.

T is tough. I know there are plenty of irreversible changes, and a lot of them can happen early on. But it's also the only stage of medical transition that you can easily stop if it's not for you. I'm the kind of person who will always wonder "what if?" if I don't try something, so I knew that I would at least try T at some point. I'm very, very happy with my changes BUT I also present very masculinely and actively wanted most of the changes that T brings.

While it isn't a surefire solution, I'd recommend starting on a low dose if/when you do. It isn't guaranteed to make things happen more slowly, but you'd have a better shot at it than if you started on a regular dose.

According to the surgeon who'll be doing mine, it's fine to do it either way. You can have the top surgery first, or even have it without planning to go on T. But for people who do intend to start T, my surgeon's preference is that they wait to have surgery until they've been on T for at least six months, because by then the pectoral muscles will have begun to develop, and that makes it easier for the surgeon to decide the best placement for the incision (this assumes the person is having DI surgery, of course).

The thing that concerns me most is not being 'trans enough' if I say I don't want T or don't want it yet, and not getting chest surgery either. I can't go private and don't have a choice of doctor so I kind of feel like I only have one shot. The wait for GIC places is so long I want to be able to be clear about exactly what I want when I get there. :/

I was thinking about a low dose, but I'm not sure how much choice I get on how much I take?

Quote from: FTMaxI don't know if NHS follows WPATH or similar guidelines, but those guidelines don't state that T before chest surgery is required. It can definitely be done first, especially if your chest is keeping you from passing as male effectively. I'd bring up to them that this is the case in the US if they try to tell you no.

Just so. And assuming they do follow the WPATH guidelines, they're not in the business of deciding whether someone is "trans enough." One of the first questions my doctor (who very much does follow those guidelines) asked me about starting T was "How much do you want to masculinize? As much as possible, or are you looking to be more androgynous?"

haha yeah but my GP had never read the WPATH guidelines. i don't know if i can 100% rely on the two people managing me to be professional.

Quote from: Peep on February 03, 2016, 06:00:35 AM
haha yeah but my GP had never read the WPATH guidelines. i don't know if i can 100% rely on the two people managing me to be professional.

You could always print it out and highlight the relevant parts. Make them read it while you are there.

That's a very good idea. Here's the link to the current Standards of Care in PDF form:

http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/Standards%20of%20Care,%20V7%20Full%20Book.pdf

I brought a copy with me to my GP, that's how i know they'd never read it  P:

I hope you underlined the good bits and left it with them!

I should have got my highlighters out haha. But I'm now seeing a psychologist who is supposed to be working with GICs so I think they might be more educated (they brought up non binary and stuff without me mentioning it so maybe...? ) + don't have to go to my GP for trans stuff atm.

I went into the gents for the first time today, just to wash my face and have a look at the stalls, and as I was going in a guy was coming out, and he held the door for me and I said sorry (because British) and as he was leaving he had a proper up-down look at me. He didn't say anything be he was definitely confused. Now I really wish I had a deeper voice haha one more check in the pro-T column. :C

The NHS does not follow WPATH.

I think their guidelines are based on WPATH standards though, whether or not they're following their own guidelines is another question. I'm sure I remember the resources I've read from the NHS for their staff mention WPATH standards, but I'd need to double check