Heya

So, i was reading through my old posts, an was reminiscing about how far i have come in my life!!!
My first post on this forum was posted in 2011 . . .

Hello My name is Zoe And i am new to this forum.

I am 23 years old and all my life i have crossdressed and wanted to be feminine, i have never wanted to be manly and have always hung around with the girls.
I have always thought however that i was a transvestite and would only stay dressed for short periods.
I moved into my new house 1 month ago, and now live on my own. Since then i have started to embrace my feminine side and have been Zoe for longer periods of time and its now at the point that as soon as i finish work and come back home i want to become a woman and will spend the whole evening as Zoe.
Im so confused as i have always thought that i was a transvestite, however in the short amount of time i have been living on my own, i have started to become very reclusive and a bit depressed. I am starting to feel asthough i am in the wrong body and really do not know what to do.

Im just wondering wether any of you girls ever thought you were a transvestite, or did you always know that you were transexual?
Im really really really confused and am a bit scared. I really dont know who i am at the moment and would like some help and advice!!

Thankyou for reading
Love Zoe.


Its amazing how far i have moved forward in my life! just to think that 5 years ago i was so confused, and was sitting alone in my room a lot, terrified to come out and accept myself as transexual!!
Im now living full time as a woman. and have been approved to start hormones very soon!

I love to reminisce and to look back at how i was feeling in the past! Ive been writing a diary for 3 years, and its so good to read and look at where i was, and how far i have moved forward!

I thought it would be interesting for us to have a thread in which we could remember where we were in our lives when we first started posting on this forum!

It would be fab if you could post your first post!!

Love
Zoe
Xxx
 

Wow yes looks like you came from far !  5 year before deciding to get on hormones, i think you are making an out of doubt decision.  Congratz =)

by reading this i also went to read my first post here haha.

my first post was about starting HRT and now its been 27 months and quite a lot of change.

My first post was a little over a year ago and was me questioning my gender for the first time. Now I've accepted myself, am undergoing therapy, will attend my first ever meeting with a Trans support group next week, and will very possibly be telling my mother the week after that, during my next therapy session.

After being sent to the 'Bad Girls Dormitory' in 2014.  My original user name and posts were all deleted.

Completed transition in May of 2015.  'You've come a long way baby.'

EOM

My first post was in march of 2008 on a thread about how you feel about the gender you want to be:

"I just attended a concert that drew a lot of young ladies. As I was observing these young women I was struck by the possibilities that they have in life that I'll never have as a bio male. Seems like a great time to be a GG."

That was probably the Avril Lavigne concert that I took one of my daughters too. This was extremely early in my transition when I didn't realize that I was on the path to transitioning. I just thought that I was genderfluid.

My...... how things have changed since then! 

Looking back on that old thread - it was sad seeing the names of members that were well known back then and are no longer around these days

Wow. Great topic. Here I am, almost 4 years ago.

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 23, 2012, 05:48:07 PM
I just joined this group. The first time I've done anything like this. I'm not sure I belong.

I mean, I'm male. I never thought I was anything else. I watch football, lift weights, think my wife is sexy, etc.

But...

I only seem to enjoy books, movies, and songs by and for women. All of my close friends are women and it's been that way all my adult life. I am much more comfortable in the company of women than I am with men. When I share my feelings about just about anything with men, they always seem uncomfortable, whereas women seem perfectly at ease with my manner of relating. I think if I had life to do over again and I could choose a side, I'd want to be a woman.

When I was a boy, I was teased a lot about my taste in music and TV shows. I was baffled at the time, but I realize now that they were, by and large, more of interest to girls than boys.

I don't fit the typical mold of a transsexual. Would you all be comfortable having me be part of your discussion?

In less than 4 years I went from being sure I was a man to being a full time woman with GRS.

What a strange trip it's been...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,127077.msg1001662.html#msg1001662

This was actually from my 2nd old user name... Im fairly certain of that as I moved in between and had to start a new account. Yet some posts from 2012 showed up....? maybe Im crazy.

this was my avatar back in 2012 and me a couple days ago below

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,128336.0.html

this oldie was a hit.... spills sarcasm on keyboard

I guess I was high about my old user name... seems I just took a 2 year break from posting
please dont tell me I shouldnt be high either....

Quote from: Joelene9 on February 14, 2011, 08:08:46 PM
This is my first post on Susan's Place Forums. I am a M-F transgender in my late 50's.  I had experience with the massage method for a year plus using phyto-estrogens pre-HRT.  I have to agree with chrishoney on a lot of the points made. Certain types of massage works better on the older M-F TG's and the results are more noticable in men than the biological women because we started with nothing. I didn't even had pecs! The phyto + massage worked for 3 months and leveled off at a sub-A cup for the rest of the year. I had some sensitivity below the nipples at first, then disappeared. The rest of the symptoms I experienced will be put in another appropriate thread.

I am on HRT for 3 months now and the results without the phyto + massage is striking! The sensitivity under the nipples reappeared after the first week of HRT and has widened and deepened with more breast tissue growth since. I may try massaging once the breast development progresses a little more.  I am a sub-B cup now and growing. The A-cup bras will not fit my wide base boobs, it is like fitting a small Dixie drinking cup on a softball! The boobs fit better in a B-cups better and with less headspace!
Joelene

It was my second post with the proper intro.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,93187.msg680604.html#msg680604

  I had to answer the query on the herbals plus massage first due to my not so positive experience with them.
  I'm still on HRT and since that and things has calmed down. No bouts of depression since. Haven't gotten full-time or cross-dressed yet. A serious problem with a very painful autoimmune disorder that attacks the nervous system has put a hold on things in the past 4 years. That is getting better. More on that later as I got a progress check with my neurologist on that condition next week.

Joelene

Weird, this is the first post I can find. I must have had a different account that has been lost in the ravages of time.

Quote from: allisonsteph on January 26, 2014, 12:33:15 PM
I have been on Spiro for a week (I was also prescribed Estrodil but could not afford to fill both). I have noticed that I am tired and that I have been craving vegetables. The vegetable thing is odd, I would eat vegetables about half the time if they were put in front of me. Now I find myself actively looking for them. I've even had a salad for lunch three days in a row. 

Here is my first topic I started:

Quote from: allisonsteph on February 04, 2014, 01:44:45 PM
Today, February 4, 2014 at 9:00 am Pacific Standard Time, a judge in my county of residence in California signed a decree that legally changes my name to Allison and changes my gender to female.

I cannot describe how happy I am at the moment. I finally have legal affirmation that I am indeed the person I have always felt I was on the inside. As tedious and frustrating as I am sure the process will be, I am truly looking forward to updating all of my identity documents, bank accounts, and other items that have a name tied to them. It will be a relief to finally have these items match my true self.

I can't believe that it has been two years already 

Hmmm, my first post was a year or so ago on a different account.  I can't remember what it was about exactly, but it wouldn't have been good considering what a whiny, messed up, self obsessed cow I was........hmmm, not much has changed then.  But look on the bright side...I have boobs now

I have no earthly idea what my first post was about.  It was in 1997 after lurking for a short while and was either an introduction or a response to something "she who shall not be named" wrote.  Let's see if anyone besides Susan get's that reference.

Wow great thread,
When I posted the thread below I think it was October 2013. Now been full time over a year and in 14 days I will have completed SRS in Thailand.. so I mention I don't know where this will go in the thread below back then.. well, we now know..
I am in heaven on earth..
Keri



Hey Group,
This is not a place I thought I would find myself...but here I am.. It feels good somehow to share my story and know others have been through very similar things.  My story will not be untypical but reinforces that transgender is for life...

I knew when I was 4 something was different. I was girly and one hell of a cute little boy...if I may say so... 
I asked my mother for lipstick when I was about 4 or so when I saw her putting on my sister she laughed and said boys dont do that.
My father would tell me to stand like a boy ... he did not beat me but he beat mentally into me that I should act a certain way.  BTW he came out of the closet gay when I was about 16.
There is so much more but I prayed every night for god to change me.. once you start to realize your gender does not match up it is very lonely and you have no where to go.
My brother caught me cross dressing and I acted like It was a joke.. My father caught me one time but pretended not to notice... my mother never knew until I told her at age 29 when I decided to transition..  then I did not transition because of wife and kids. My wife had me go to christian counseling for a cure.. it did not work.  I am 54 now and kids are grown...
I don't know what I am going to do.. I have feminine features like small hands face and feet..  I have big shoulders from weight lifting so I will not know if I can transition gracefully until I pull some weight and see whats left after all the years of abuse....Girls often comment they wish they had my eyes and nose and face.. imagine how that made me feel all these years. I have a higher pitched voice... never did get deep.. weird.. but I look and pass as a man great...
I freaked out when doing research on finger indexes.... my hands are exactly like my wife's hands... small  and I have a ratio of 1.01.. index finger 69mm with ring finger 70mm...  I don't know how much weight to put into that but research is  there to suggest that may have something to do with me.  I can't imagine it being total coincidence.
Other notes of interest.. I was diagnosed with GID at 29.  I am very compassionate and caring. I own a business been very successful and cry in movies and watching the voice when I get emotionally involved with things..  my wife thinks its funny... she does not know what is happening today... I am in process of deciding what if anything I will do.. Starting therapy next week.  If anything I hope sharing my story helps..
Take care,
Carrie

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 06, 2010, 08:01:42 AM
Hi, I'm Tracey, I am here looking for answers to why I crossdress, MTF. I have read the site rules and TOS several times, I will behave myself and promise to be courteous to everyone. I can't post often, but I'm always reading the posts. Sincerely, Tracey

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 09, 2010, 08:30:55 AM
Wow, what a welcome wagon! Thanks to everyone who replied, and awwww,
Kate brought flowers! My name is Tracey and I'm an alcoholic......no
wait, wrong meeting! My story is a bit different, I am 49 and always
lived happily as a man except for one thing. I was constantly
misidentified as a woman. "Paper or plasic, miss?" or "I can take you
on aisle 5, ma'am" It drove me crazy. (I can hear all my crossdressing
sisters throwing their hands up in the air right now!) So last year
around this time I had this crazy idea that if I couldn't get the world
to see me as male, then maybe with a bit of effort I could tilt the
scales and really look female. So before you could say "Ebay" I had an
outfit at my door, from wig to shoes. I put it all on and wobbled to
the mirror in my first steps ever in high heels. I know that I looked
like a streetwalker, but to me I was staring into the eyes of a
complete stranger, a beautiful woman, and her eyes were saying "Yes,
it's me! I'm here!" Since then I try to be Tracey every weekend, even
if only for a few hours. I wish I had discovered her earlier in my life
but no matter, now we are together or one on this journey. Sorry I
rambled, sincerely, Tracey                            P.S. I will be 25
years sober on March 4th, 2011

Great topic! When I came here I was a part time crossdresser and I just wanted to know how long until I started burying bodies in the cellar. Now I present as a woman 24/7 and feel genderfluid and comfortable in my own skin.

Hugs, Devlyn