Hello, my name here at this forum is Ilmarinen, but you can call me Mark. I hail from central Florida.
I'm a cisgender male, suffering from a chronic progressive state of mind-opening.

I never realized there was such a vast pool of vocabulary which was specific to the transgender group. And even though I acknowledge that vocabulary terms are designed to make clear definitions in order to facilitate what eventually becomes understanding, I do not wish for anyone to think that I am using terms to label. I'd never want to hurt anyone's feelings ever.

If you ever knew the fat kid in the neighborhood from your childhood, that was my physical condition. Maybe people think that you can just diet and exercise and lose weight, and after I've done all of those things year after year, I keep on gaining weight. The last appointment I had with an endocrinologist was last week. I'm being assigned a new nutritionist and will be getting a stationary exercise bike after I sell my treadmill that I can't use anymore due to my right leg pain from soft tissue injuries.

Although my condition is not about gender, I can understand the concept of being in a body that doesn't match what is in my mind and spirit. I didn't ask to be stuck in a window van when I feel/know that I'm supposed to be a two-seat convertible sportster. It's obviously not exactly the same, nonetheless, it may require hormone therapies and even surgery in order to fix the condition that I was born with.

My past includes a lot of rejection, rebellion, physical trauma, divorces, and then becoming an active member of an adult love doll community (after my last separation). Unorthodox and thorny paths have become my highway. Thus, a more open mind and willingness/desire to embrace what the norm sees as fringe, has been the result. Folks are folks, and in the end it is kind, and loving behavior that truly makes a difference. Finding love again in the future is, I still believe, not out of the question for me. It seems that new realms to look for it has become freshly realized.

So, hello, and a hug. Maybe I can make some new friends here.
Thank you.

Mark Ilmarinen

Welcome to Susan's Place. For the most part, we understand that people make mistakes and they can't know what to say if we don't tell time. As you know, what upsets people when the incorrect term is used and the person knows better. Everybody is welcome to join the site and CIS have joined the site for many reasons. I don't know if it's clear to you but this is a medical support site however there are areas for discussions and games. Feel free to explore the site and ask questions. You will find we are friendly and try hard not to judge others. You will not be able to PM until you reach 15 quality post but you may ask me questions by posting to this thread.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Welcome! I am fairly new here myself. I am transgender (Male to Female). I am glad to see someone trying to learn and open their horizons. It sounds like you have experienced a lot of pain in your life. I am very aware that trans people are not the only ones with body image problems. People can be very mean to people with weight issues. I find that some of the most interesting people to know are those who have dealt with personal insecurity in some form.

Well, I wish you luck on your personal journey.

Moni

Hi Mark 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Thank you VM.
I appreciate your greeting. The last couple of days, I have been  stumbling around the site, exploring some of the articles, visiting the chat, viewing numerous topics in the forums, and in general getting a general idea of the temperature of the pool.
By the way, cute avatar.

Mark

Good evening Moni.
I believe that we share the agreement about an interesting personality being formed from difficult times. Some of my friends have grown to be embittered, angry, and ultimately lonely, due to the fact that they've built walls instead of  dissolved the walls with their tears, allowing themselves to experience life, change and growth.

I wish you well  too, Moni.
Thank you for your reply.

Mark

Thank you for the info Dena, and good evening.

Quote from: Dena on February 06, 2016, 08:14:03 PM
... Everybody is welcome to join the site and CIS have joined the site for many reasons. I don't know if it's clear to you but this is a medical support site however there are areas for discussions and games.

After viewing most of the forum topics, and also "listening" on chat for even a little while, it becomes quite apparent that this is a serious site for support and resources in this community.
I totally respect and understand that. You won't get any kind of trolling or funny business from me. I'd like to make that clear right now.

It's good to see that the management and administration at the site lays out the ground rules in a friendly and firm manner. Very matter of factual. I appreciate that, thank you. As an appointed moderator at an Internet forum site myself, everyone here will experience nothing more then my best behavior, respect, honesty and willingness to be as earnestly helpful as I can.

I will mention, although, that perhaps some of the members  took a suggestion which I posted in chat, as jest. Long story short, I recommended therapeutic//medical massage therapy to assist in the alleviation of physical soreness and pain which another member posted that they were experiencing from speech therapy. A couple of chatting members made light of it, but I am used to people making fun of massage therapy, which happens to be my professional trade. I didn't post a reply to any of their remarks. As a 26 year professional practitioner of medical massage, also teaching basic therapeutic massage and deep tissue massage for licensure in a school, I am no stranger to ribbing, ridicule, jokes, and otherwise disgusting disingenuous questions. Please mind you, this is not a complaint, but simply a testament that I'm a mature adult, and not somebody who is going to be here to cause trouble. That would only quickly end in my account being suspended or terminated anyways. (I know what goes on behind the curtain)

15 quality posts!  Darn! Our site only requires five before newbies can pm! I need to tell my manager to toughen up our standards.

Thank you again Dena.

Mark

I had to slip the warning in there because people come to the site thinking it's a dating site. While romances have developed from people meeting each other on the site, we try to protect our member as much as possible. We have people as young as 13 years old as well as people who have reached the end of their rope and this is the last place to look for help on their list.

On the other side, we dish out all sorts of advice. The bulk of it is medical related but people need help with employment and relationships with others. It is very possible some of what you know can be of use to somebody. In addition the longer you are on the site, the more you will learn information that can be passed on to somebody else. I had been out of the community for about 30 years and there was a fair amount of new thinking I had to catch up on. Much of what I learned in my transition still applies and I think I have helped a few people along the way.

Massage might even be useful to the FTMs on the site. They go through male puberty and I suspect they have many of the T related cramps and pains that a teen boy would feel. Knowing how to relive the discomfort might be useful.

We have a number of members who are more than willing to hit the report to moderator button so if we don't see a violation, it still get picked up pretty fast. With around 700 registered users on the site a day, punishable offenses are not real common even with the strict rules we have. Most of the time it's a minor violation that an edit, PM and  report will solve.

The staff is pretty good at catching problem users early. We read a bunch of post because one of our primary duties is to encourage conversations when possible. We develop a 6th sense when a thread is going to go sour or when a user is becoming a problem.  As long as you remain open and honest, I don't think you will become a problem on this site.   

Hi Mark, welcome to Susan's Place! I live near Boston. Glad you decided to join us, the more the merrier! I'll be seeing you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Dena on February 07, 2016, 07:33:02 PM...  As long as you remain open and honest, I don't think you will become a problem on this site.

Thank you Dena.

Thank you too for the welcome Devlyn!

I'm from northwest Indiana, and moved to Florida nearly 25 years ago.
Central Florida has been a good place to be for the weather, work, and lessons provided to me by life.

It's really good to see how devoted and serious this site is. We have several TG members at the forum I regularly attend to, so they may be interested in this forum. If and when the topic comes up, I'll not hesitate to refer them here.

Mark

Hello and welcome from a CIS Female and former fat chic. I am well aware of how it feels to loathe your body even when you're comfortable with your gender. After years of failed attempts to lose weight (I did Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem... just to name a few and spent 2 hours a day exercising all to no avail), I finally sought out bariatric surgery and had a gastric sleeve done. That was nearly 5 years ago and I ended up losing 125 lbs and have kept it off. So, hugs to you for dealing with because I've been there and I know it's not an easy thing.

Hi Mark and welcome to Susan's.  We didn't have a fat kid in our neighborhood growing up but we did have a small, slightly chubby and slightly effeminate kid on one block and two bullies on the next block.  Yeah, I was the small, effeminate kid and frequent target of the bullies.  You'll probably find a lot of us have been there.  Anyway welcome.  It's always good to have an ally.

Good morning and thank you PrincessButtercup.
I appreciate your ability to empathize. Next week begins a new regimen of weight loss counseling, hormone bloodwork to find out if I'm diabetic, and strict dietary changes. After looking through my home medical file the other day, I realized that this has been an intentional six-year battle now.

Good morning BeverlyAnn. Thank you for your greeting. Occasionally, allies seemingly come from the most unlikely of places.