Okay, people who watch my vlogs on youtube already know this story, but I thought I'd stick it on here despite that I expect people to flame me, tell me that I'm stupid, and all of that wonderful stuff. I already know I got in a bad situation, again, but I wanted to write this as perhaps some kind of warning to tell others to not do as I do. Cause, you know, I'm one pretty bad girl. >
Anyway, xmas eve I finish work and a male co-worker asks if I want to come over to his place and hang out with his roommate and his family. Which was fine, and so I went over to his place.
So, we had a good time with his roommate and her family, and had a few drinks. I didn't have too many, but it doesn't take much to make me drunk. That, and I had some weird shots that made me uber sick all night and until the morning. Thus, I rarely drink much 'cause I go from drunk to sick faster than you can say "another shot, bartender!"
So, anyway, I end up in this guys room. Now, I'm a bad girl and I tend to flirt and make out with a lot of people -- that isn't a good thing! I'm a bit of a slut, and I know it, and honestly, one shouldn't follow my example. There's a lot of stuff I do that you shouldn't try at home... but enough of the preaching, already.
Urm, lets back up a moment and put some facts on the table:
1. He's a guy. He's also 12-ish years older than me.
2. He doesn't know I'm trans, nor does anyone at work.
3. He's attracted to me, apparently, and the same goes for a few other men at work who constantly are trying to get me out on a date.
4. I'm sick, drunk, but also need to be quick 'cause this could spell trouble.
Anyway, here I am down to my panties and being thankful that I don't have much down there and that he's not noticing that things down there are different. Then, he wants to have sex with me. *eeek* Okay, this is bad. What do I do now. Okay, I've been in this situation a few times (yes, I know bad, I end up with bed with people and forget to tell them that trans-caveat). So, I explain that I'm sick, and that this is probably not a good idea 'cause we're both tipsy and he's my co-worker.
But, instead of saying okay, he keeps asking me why because he can see through me making excuses. I tell him that I'm "different" than other girls and prepare myself to for dreaded trans speech that I shouldn't be doing here, but rather in a public place where I can run away if needed... mostly naked in bed is a bad place to tell someone, "Hey, I've got a penis!" When they aren't expecting it.
So, I start telling him and he just keeps going through things guessing, that maybe I'm on my period, or got a disease -- and I'm here going no, no, no, I'll tell you but, no, not that either -- so eventually he comes to the most far out thing he can think of, "You're not going to tell me your a hermaphadite or used to be a guy or something." The look on his face I could tell he said this jokingly.
"Sure," I said.
"What?" He gets up. "You're agreeing with that one?"
"Urm. Nope! I just agreed so we could stop this silly conversation. I'm not feeling well, and I don't really like one night stands and we're co-workers and, yeah, lets just snuggle for now and talk and think about things when we're both sober and I'm feeling better, etc."
He agreed, and we snuggled. Made out more (at this point I shouldn't of). Made out the morning after and in the after noon. And then I went home and then went to my roommates' mom's house for xmas dinner and presents.
So, it seems that he doesn't know that I'm trans. He still has a crush on me. But I've been pushing the "lets be friends" thing on him.
The moral of the story: Be careful, 'cause a situation like this could end up really bad really fast. And it's always best to try and avoid the situations rather than be like me and walk into them.
And yes, I know, I know, this isn't the first time I've been in this situation. And believe me, it's very awkward to explain the penis part to a man who's naked in your bed and doesn't know you're trans. With the last guy I had to spell it out, and it took him a while to figure it out... he was okay, which was good, but yeah, after that I never heard from him again. Same with the guy before.
It's odd that with women I've been with, I make out with them, etc, but I haven't ended up in bed giving that conversation yet. The women I've been with seem to be a lot easier to convince them not to go all the way then men. Men just want you more the more you tell them no. It's annoying.
Anyway, I hope that others don't get into bad situations like me. This type of situation can have an unhappy ending. People have freaked and beaten up trans girls and even killed them over this type of scenario. I've just been lucky. Very lucky. And honestly, it's not like I try to get into these situations.
So, it's always best to play it safe and
always have an exit plan. And, also, if you do get into this type of situation, have a plan on how to get out of the situation -- tell them you have a yeast infection and you're on your period, that makes men go ewww. It's worked for me a couple of times. Don't go home with strangers. Let others know where you are and who you are with. Keep a cell phone near. And know where you are at all times.
In my situations, I've never gone home with a stranger (I knew the people a little bit, at least). And I also let people know where I was and who I was with. And I just try to avoid the whole thing together. But there are times when you slip up, and I've slipped up without drinking -- it just happens to be that night that I had a couple of shots. But yeah, so, just be careful! Especially when you're with someone who doesn't know you're trans, 'cause not everyone reacts well to that.
--Natalie
