Assuming that you are post-op and can have sex as a female, in this day and age sex is freely available to both men and women, and the women seem to enjoy it even more than the men do. Emotional relations seem to grow out of sexual relationships, not vice-versa. I know of several recently married couples whose relationship started with the woman seeing a man she liked, seducing him, and then guiding the relationship in the direction she wanted, regardless of what that might be, using sex as the handle by which to steer. And the men smile and freely admit that they were butter in her hands. It is time to bury the stereotype of the frail woman just waiting for Prince Charming to notice her.
Even among those over 60, sex on the first date is the norm. Without that, there is usually not a second date. It is not that the man is just rutting though as many women as possible. Some might do this, but the men are looking for longer term relationships as much as the women are. But is you are under 40, the expectation (at least on the two coasts) is that the way life works is to jump into bed as soon as possible, and then take it from there. As other posters have noted, it is a tough world out there for both males and females. And if you take yourself out of the game, then you cannot complain about being out of the game.
Now if you are not post-op, it is a whole different story. I have not a clue as to what people in that situation do. I am very much a bi-nominal person.
As I see it, at the very least casual sex is a good way to have to dilate less, and a lot more fun than dilation. At my age, even though I am very willing, it is hard to find a man who is still able to get aroused, but I envy the freedom of the youngsters.
