I feel like this must look as though I am looking for daily sympathy though I can assure everyone I'm not. There have just been developments since my last post addressing me being outed at college.

Original Post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,204032.0.html

Now, I feel it is best to expand upon this college I attend. It is in fact a very scarce sixth form college; which in the UK is basically a place which ONLY accommodates for 16-19 year-old's studying A-Levels. It isn't as strict as sixth form but it doesn't expect you to be as independent as a college (college in the UK is not University) does. It has around the same student numbers as two year groups in a small high school (overall 300 minimum, 400 maximum). It doesn't work like a Uni campus and you have to live nearby to attend. There is no uniform, hours are flexible and they are very LGBT friendly/supportive.

Now onto my problem, following this ex-friend of mine telling these two girls about me being trans and this whiny pothead finding out and shouting about it, me being trans has spread like wild fire. I am the talk of the college and with me being first year (technically second year but I skipped a year of education to transition) and my boyfriend being second year I have friends and acquaintances spread all across the college who are finding out. Our relationship is being picked apart (since clearly he is no longer gay since he dates me.... sigh  ) and I am becoming significantly uncomfortable in my environment. I didn't work this hard to transition just to have everyone dismiss my masculinity because they've found out about my miserable past. I hate watching it being dug up like this because I was so happy just being me and not having to worry about trans stuff.

This has just escalated horribly especially after what I specifically found out today:

Boyfriend was in the gym while I did work in the library. While he was in there his mate from drama comes up and asks, "Hey, was Hunter a girl?" He answered perfectly, telling her that that wasn't the correct way to word it but that yes, I was transgender (I have told him to tell people the truth who ask - for the sake of I am not going to have him lie about it because we aren't ashamed of it). Turns out the pothead had told her and she also politely let him know that currently it is THE underground gossip of the college and that most of everyone knows about it now - since it is that fricking exciting.

I am fortunate my boyfriend is good and doesn't give half a damn about any of this - just trying to hold him back from beating up the pothead since he is supposed to be his mate and he is causing me some major BS.

I am just getting super uncomfortable and I don't even want to go back there anymore. It must seem so trivial however I just don't want anyone to see me. I don't feel worthy, I don't feel male in anyone's eyes.

I just hope everyone is bloody proud of themselves.

I don't even know where I was going with this, I just needed to talk about it.

Quote...they are very LGBT friendly/supportive.

If they are friendly/supportive then you have to take the matter up with the college. Don't let bullies and idiots make your life a misery - the school has a duty of care to keep you safe and it should deal directly with anyone trying to make your time there uncomfortable.

Yuck. I hate it when people feel the need to out me. I'm openly trans but I want the choice of when I let people know about my past.

OTOH, I can't stop people from talking about me. All I can do is request politely and hope they respect my wishes. Some will, some won't. I'll never be stealth so I have to live with people knowing.

What I CAN do is hold my head high and be proud of who I am.

If it's making you want to not be there, you should let the college/ student support know and see if they can help you get through it. Don't let some nosy people ruin your education. :C

The best thing about education is that your time at any single institution will be over at some point, and you won't have to deal with those folks ever again. I do second the idea of speaking to the staff at the school - this is bullying and you should not have to deal with it. At the very least, they need to have a discussion with the folks who are outing you and perpetuating the discussion. It would also probably be helpful to have a school-wide diversity presentation.

Pothead sounds like he's bullying you, and you don't have to put up with it. As for the gossip - well, not much you can do about that. But the thing about inveterate gossips is that they generally have the attention spans of goldfish, along with the brains to go with it. They'll soon latch onto something else, no doubt.