Hello everyone!  I have been lurking for a few weeks, I'm so happy to have found this place.  I am in my mid-40s, assigned male at birth and expressed as male almost exclusively until very recently, though I've always had periods where I felt uncomfortable with being a male.  I think I've understood on some level for a long time that I had a feminine side, but a number of events about 9 months ago helped me realized that I actually might not be male or at least not entirely male.  As I've experimented with underdressing and, cautiously, with a little more - girl's jeans and some subtle makeup - I've been increasingly enlightened both by how liberated I feel and by how much I feel like I am a girl some days.  I'm gradually coming out to my wife, though she was a bit shocked when she first found I'd bought panties and a bra, she's getting more comfortable with me wearing women's clothes around the house and she's generally OK with the idea that I'm questioning my gender but I can tell she's a little nervous.   I think it's important to have her and our kids understand before I do much more.     

I think I am more female than male, though I don't feel any real need to transition, at least I haven't yet (I wish it were possible to switch back and forth, as I feel that's what I do inside).  And though I don't feel I can come out completely or dress overtly feminine at work, I'm OK for now with identifying (mostly) female and expressing mostly male.  I'd prefer to be addressed as a female on here, though gender neutral is fine too (and may ultimately be more appropriate).

I'm looking forward to finding mutual support and learning more about me and what this all means; maybe finding some new ways to explore my gender and live in the world.

Love to all,
Ms. DeeDee

Hi, I am in the same boat as you are right now, and at least you can allow to be open at home. I have been purge my urge to be woman couple times, but it never worked out yet. Welcome.

Luanne

Hi DeeDee, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston, and definitely not a man or a woman. The middle ground is fine, jump right in! See you around the site! Here's a pamphlet with helpful information.

Hugs, Devlyn

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Hi DeeDee and welcome to Susan's. I much prefer being feminine though I'm at peace with male and female. We all have to find a place that makes us happy. Look forward to future posts.

Ms. Dee Dee

Welcome to the site. Many great folks with a vast range of experience here. Feel free to ask questions.

I wish you luck. Communication is a big key toward experimenting and transitioning with an understanding spouse.

Take care,

Joanna

Thank you to all of you for the supportive words of encouragement.  I am pleased to find that there are so many of us who are in this world of neither male nor female or both at once. 

Today I had a great experience, it was very emotional.  My wife and I talked a lot and it was overwhelming her so it went back and forth onto other topics and varied widely.  At one point, she told me that she married me because of my femininity (we've been married over 20 years and I knew she appreciated my "emotional guy" nature but I never knew this!  She's from Texas and she often speaks of classical Texas men but today she was clear that that was the sort of man she did not want.)  I was sitting around in my underwear (pink lace panties and cami) and a bathrobe and she asked me to get dressed so we could get on with the day.  I told her both of my pairs of women's jeans needed washing and I didn't want to wear men's jeans.  She told me I should try on her new stretch leggings.  I was absolutely thrilled at the invitation, I'd been hoping to but was cautious not to ask as she just bought them a couple of days ago.  She said they fit me better than her.  I couldn't stop thanking her.  I finally had a cry on her shoulder and she said she understood (the tears).  She then offered me a striped turtleneck that didn't really go with the pants but avoided me having to wear a men's shirt or a mere t-shirt.  This simple act of acceptance was overwhelming to me and I'm both content and on the verge of tears as I write.  It's so amazing how such little things can be so powerful.

I've been looking at the non-binary area of Susan's Place and will introduce myself there as well soon as that's clearly where I am right now and maybe always have been.

Hugs,
DeeDee

Hi DeeDee 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M