I often see the posts of how fear destroys our transition.

Fear after all is the emotion the allows humans to succeed in the evoluntion process.

I'll explain. Have you seen a seal chased by a Great White? A penguin by a polar bear. Or a deer stalked by a lion. They have no fear, they have little perception of awareness. They do not realise that death is close. They have no conception of Death.

Humans do and we have created mythology throughout the ages to explain our fear of death.

We create or believe in gods. The belief gives us relief, we are not alone so we have no fear or can face that fear with a determination of future gifts or salvation. We are aware.

Coming out as a transgender person is possibly the greatest fear we face.
Why?

Sure we can lose our family, our job, our standing, our friends - but we cannot lose our awareness, we cannot lose our dignity.
Sure you may feel you can; but where is the dignity in being false?

There is no dignity in that. Even if you think so.

Fear: what is it?

We work ourselves up; tomorrow I'm going to walk down the street wearing a dress; people will laugh at me. So what?

I saw a gorgeous young woman today wearing a really stupid dress going to the race course close to me. She looked terrible. She was happy. Her male partner was happy - because she was happy. She was happy because she thought she looked great; good on her. I was stopped at the traffic lights watching her cross the road, people, mainly men where laughing and giving obscene gestures. Luckily, hopefully; she did not see them. The female driver in the car next to me caught my eye and we just smiled and shook our heads. "Oh to be young and ......."

Not aware.

Why do you fear going out in public when ciswomen will do so looking, dare I say, utterly silly (the dress would have been $1000 and I would have sued ).

Our fear is very isolated; I know it is intangible, real and can be overwhelming but it is fear only. It is an emotion that we can control.

So we deal with fear. We can break through fear. To be honest it is quite easy to do so.

So next time you are too frightened to walk the walk, remember a gorgeous young lady who crossed the road in front of six lanes of traffic looking like an idiot and blissfully in love.

She should be proud, and so should you.

Great post you are right though fear seems very tangible when you are in the moment I will try to remember this as i take more steps on my journey
   I plan to join in on the pride rally with my grandson[transman]this spring this will be my first time out in public  wish me luck

bobbisue 

Today is my 3 month anniversary of expressing at work and using my name. Friday I was walking through 4 buildings and a bridge to my car to go home. I remembered walking that root the end of the 1st day expressing. I thought why was I so afraid? I thought I was going to be alone and isolated and worse ostracized. I found out I was completely wrong. People that stared at me before coming out now know and accept me. I guess they were wondering what was up and now they know.

I was in a hallway Friday telling a friend I have to have lunch with the new COO and I need to buy a suit (woman's) for the lunch (1st of the director lunches with the new guy from Texas). A few hours later I received a text, pic and address of a LGBT clothing store on Penn's campus that will meet my needs. He walked 4 blocks in the cold to take the pics. He texted he would go with me if I wanted. How cool is that?

people can be amazing

Cindy,

You continue to be an inspiration among many here.

Thank you.

Rachel Lynn, thanks for sharing your story. I am often at a loss from the dynamic natures of those around us.

Joanna

So many have this fear and my fear was how it would affect my family and close friends . Not fear of what people thought of me, had too much self confidence in myself for that crap. Once I was accepted by my family and female friends and a few male ones, I just didn't give a damn anymore. My greatest fear was to die ...living a life unfulfilled and filled with regret..that didn't happen. So few of us overcome our fear and even fewer find the peace we deserve in life. .

Cindy you have that peace and this transformation has made you that incredible person that you are. I'm ever so proud to know you.