I am having a miserable time with my family. Today my mother ask personal questions knowingly I do not like to answer those type of questions. Are you happy? Are you lonely? No friends. Weird. Re-hashing old stuff in my life about a particular time she tried to track me done when I was 19. By bringing that up, she implied I was gay. In front of my grandma.

I seriously can't do this. And I was into a straight club and wasted 5 hours of my life feeling like crap, I hate clubs to begin with, but seeing all these beautiful women living the life I want. I cannot deal, so I walk to the smoke pit, waiting until I go home and pretend I had a good night lol.

And really just visit to see my grandma. I feel very miserable at the moment. And then she ask me questions about my finances... It sucks . i wont fight her or argue her about this or else it will make me look more guilty and ashame of my existence. I just want a simple peaceful lkfe.

Honey,

You are an adult.

You can choose your life, no one is responsible for you except you.

We make decisions and yes they are hard. I left home at 17 because my parents loved me but couldn't deal with her. Peter was their only son. They didn't want Cindy as a daughter.

I was Cindy and not Peter.

You need to make your mind up and stop relying on others.

You need money? Work.

I worked in bars, burger places, caravan parks cleaning toilets.

You can do that. I put myself through University. I worked.

When the rage and need for survival become dominant we can do anything.

Don't give up Hon. You can do this.

it's your life no one else's

Wild Flower I know it can be frustrating as those events go on, but like Cindy I reach a point where I just couldn't put up with that anymore and removed those things and people from my life that caused me to leave them behind. As a result, I was able to eventually transition and I'm much happier for it. The key is Wild Flower is that sometimes we really have to look after ourselves before others. Hugs
Mariah